WHY?

Why are we dealing with repeated attacks on blackness?  Why are people all over this country suddenly making the most mundane, routine, ordinary of things a crime for black people?  As I contemplate these questions wondering more and more, what's going on?  I go back to my Bible and realize that this world will become more and more out of control, deceitful, dangerous, greedy, lecherous, selfish and murderous!!! As a person of color, I'm extremely concerned about the random acts of violence that seem to perpetuate our community.  Whether committed by the police, other members of the community or whomever, it is alarmingly clear that black lives matter less and less within and outside of our community.  Hundreds of years of slavery, Jim Crow laws, and attitudes have managed to convince the world at large including other people of color that black lives are worthless or at the very least worth less!!!
Having been born during the civil rights movement, I am fortunate that I had more options than my parents, grandparents and great grandparents.  All of whom helped build this country into the powerhouse it is now.  I am grateful for all who came before me and whose shoulders I now stand on.  I try to post as much positive information as possible on social media outlets about the black experience and the things we've achieved, contributed to and changed for the better.  We must come to terms with our own history, it's uniqueness and it's impact on every facet of life around the world.  We are survivors, innovators, creators and keepers of the universe.  We are children of GOD and he loves us.  We are the beginning and end of civilization.  To understand just how important we are to this world, it's history, it's development and it's ability to survive, you must do your homework and discover if you don't know who we really are.
I hope for the sake of your soul, you undertake the determination to discover things you never knew or were not taught to you.  Do not rely on the very limited, anemic and massively inaccurate portrayal of us, or lack of true history in the lessons we've been told.  They aren't even close to the true, complete, glorious and magnificent truth about us.  I want each of you to undertake your own journey and discover for yourself that you are indeed special and were always special.    No other race of people have been treated as despicable and inhumanly as black people.  The day will come when this will not be the case and their will be no more of our blood spilled.   Many wrongly believe they will never answer for their crimes and sins.  Nothing could be further from the truth. We will all stand before God one day for judgement!!!!

Aging

Let's face it, who wants to get old?  We may not mind being older, but we don't want to be old.  In this youth obsessed society we live in, it's hard to age.  The constant pressure being applied to us to stay young is ridiculous.  We are constantly bombarded with advertising that screams and equates sexiness with youth.  This is especially true for women.  It is hard to age, have careers, have aging parents who may be declining, be responsible for a household, accountable to a boss, mothering your children, being a daughter, sister, aunt, best friend and confidant and be a size 4 and sexy all the time.  Why we hold this unrealistic standard to mirror ourselves is beyond me.

Many people who are moving through middle age to senior years are afraid whether they will admit it or not.  Many are afraid they will not have enough to live on when they are retired.  Many are afraid of losing their jobs and pensions before they are ready to retire.  We hear horror story after horror story of how people are just a year or two away from retirement and they are terminated or downsized leaving them with very few options of maintaining the level of income they are used to.  I know that age discrimination is against the law, but it happens all the time.  I was told by a someone that age discrimination is the most practiced discrimination in this country.  I'm not sure whether it's true or not, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were so.  Trying to get another comparable job to what you're used to after a certain age is very difficult.  Youth is preferred over experience most of the time.  It doesn't matter how horrible a young person is at doing their job, they will always be preferred.  The most common thing I hear is that they are more energetic and are more flexible because they don't yet have families.  I think this is a lot of bull and the most likely the reason is you can pay them less and make them do more.  They don't yet have a true understanding of their worth.  In this day and age, people are living longer, taking better care of themselves and looking younger, so why do companies assumed an older person lacks energy and stamina.  Besides, if you do your job right and not have to repeatedly correct things, you don't need as much energy and stamina.  From where I'm standing, they don't seem to have all that much energy and stamina anyway as slow as some of them move.  Companies would rather continue to apologize for their young staff, than hire older, more mature, more experienced workers.  I'm not against hiring young people, some jobs do require youth and stamina to be done, but stop dismissing people over 40 and especially 50 as useless!!!  Another misconception is that people over 50 are preparing to leave the workplace.  Have you been paying attention to what's going on in this country the last 20 years?  Housing markets crashed, pension funds were raided, financial fraud was rampant.  Many people over 50 will have no choice but to work and stay in the work force long after they thought.  They just simply do not have the means to retire let alone retire comfortably.

One of the most surprising things about this issue is that the people in the 40's - 50's age range are part of the problem.  I've heard to many of them say so many times, I want someone young and energetic.  It's so unfair and so presumptive.  In essence, aren't we supposed to hire the best qualified person for the job?  Unless the job requires a person to move non stop, why would you assume someone older can't do it.  Let's get real a minute, most of these are corporate jobs, aka desk jobs.  The amount of running around on a typical day at these jobs can usually be handled by someone over 50.  Please stop acting like everyone over 50 is using a cane or a walker.   Again let me point out how slow some of the younger folks move because they really don't want to be there!!!  So what's the problem?  Everyone wants to appear young and virile even if it's by default by who you surround yourself with.  I know there are exceptions to this.  I've heard of several companies who actively solicit older workers because they feel they have a better work ethic.  On behalf of all the older people out there seeking work whether part-time or full-time, please don't be so dismissive of this set of workers as they have experience, commitment, dedication, skills, intelligence and most importantly the desire to be a part of the collective success of hard work.    One thing I know for sure, when I retire, I will be done with the work force.  I do not plan to be one of those people who retire, then find another career or job.  I plan to expand my travels and fun times to the max!!!!  No more work for me but for those who continue to want or need to work, they should be fairly considered like everyone else!!! It seems to me that retiring between 62-65 is becoming more a wish than a reality for many!!!  I wouldn't be surprised if the average retirement age became 70-72.  It seems like that's becoming more the reality!!!

Words

Don't use bad language. Say only what is good and helpful to those you are talking to, and what will give them a blessing. Ephesians 4:29

Words are so important.  They describe all in life.  When people speak, they give us a glimpse of who they are, a look into their soul.  We currently have a leader who can't speak the truth if even if he tried.  His words are lies, they mean to inflict harm and poison the mind.  His entire administration lies.  We must diligently guard our hearts and minds to harmful words spoken to us as they will tear us down and burn out spirits if we let them.

Hateful and mean words are being used to beat others up with.  So many seem to feel that it's okay to verbally assault their fellow man.   We are warned that by our words we will be judged.  Words give life and words destroy lives.  In this era where we hide behind our computer screens and use false identities, the kid gloves have come off and folks are just saying what's in their hearts and have been on their minds.  The delusion of entitlement had by some is just breathtaking.  All men were created equal in the eyes of God.  No man was created to serve another man.  We were all created to serve God.

If you keep up with current events, then you know there is a #MeToo  campaign underway where women are telling their stories of sexual assault by the men they have worked with or currently work with.  I think that it's great that women are speaking out and standing up for themselves.  My problem with this campaign is that it was hijacked by Hollywood stars who remained silent until their careers were well established.  I'm sorry but you don't get to play shero when you remained silent when you could have been warning other women.  These women chose to remain silent to cement their careers.  Now they want to be looked upon as brave and heroic for finally speaking out.  The women in this instance I respect are the ones who spoke out initially to the detriment of their careers.  As far as I'm concerned they paid the price and sacrificed their careers to speak up.   It didn't matter to them, the roles they lost, they spoke up.  When you are not willing to sacrifice something important to you and tolerate loss, then you are not a trailblazer or hero.  You're a silent participant.    These women could have used their voices and spoke the words that would have warned others of the perils of the industry.  WORDS MATTER!!!  
NO THE REAL VICTIMS are the countless women like Ms. Recy Taylor, Oprah referenced in her speech, who was abducted walking down the street on September 3, 1944 and raped by six white men who as much as admitted their crime and still were never charged.  Countless women of color particularly black women who were slaves, domestics, poor and did not possess the means to protect themselves have suffered horrendous sexual assaults with little to no hope of justice. There are children around the world being sold into slavery and the sex trade.  Justice alludes them, many forever.  There will be no reckoning.  The "MeToo" movement was started by a black woman to help others stand up and tell their stories, in the process hopefully taking back some control of their lives.  She started the movement because she saw the need to help women of color who were sexually assaulted and everyone else was ignoring.  Society in general does not concern itself with the well being and mistreatment of black women.  It is why I rarely participate in any of the current movements aimed at women empowerment or equality.  Until black women are a real part of the conversation and agenda, I have no interest in participating!!!

I am not saying that what happened to these actresses is okay, but when you perform a sex act in exchange for career advancement, it is not the same as being forcefully abducted and raped.  You have the power and the option of saying "NO" and walking away.  Those who said no and walked away to have their careers affected, are victims.  Society is labeling what really amounts to bullshit as heroic.  White society at large has a  really insensitive habit of wanting to interject and include themselves in the suffering of people of color, comparing the hideous things that were done to black people to the inconveniences they might of endured because their privilege was ruffled.  This movement was supposed to be about empowering women who (not just felt) but were actually powerless in the past to respond or speak out.  The actresses who have hijacked this movement have had more than 20 years to speak out and tell their stories, so why now?  Their careers are no longer at risk, so let's tell the world what we have endured and what it's been like.  I suppose anyone is entitled to tell their story and make known the path they encountered on the way to success.   I am appalled that they took a movement meant to empower and help powerless women regain their self respect and turned it into a weapon to fight the real cause that most of these women are fighting in Hollywood, which is GENDER EQUALITY PAY!!!!  As far as I'm concerned that is what this is really about, because it is ALWAYS ABOUT MONEY!!!

If you don't think it's all about the money, look at how heads are rolling all over the place.  When you practically immediately terminate the star of your show when an accusation is leveled without any proof required,  it tells me several things.  One of which is you've known all along there was a problem, you are now afraid the problem will taint your brand, you allowed the problem to go unchecked, now you're trying to get out front and avoid consequences and you're afraid your core audience will turn on you, so you are trying to distance yourself.
Within a few days of the Golden Globes, Mark Wahlberg came under attack because it came out he was paid substantially more than Michelle Williams for re-shoots for a film they made together.  It was used as another example of women making less than men for the same work.  Hey I'm all for equal pay for equal work.  The thing that no one is addressing is that Mark was paid substantially more because he had a better agent who worked out the figures he was paid.  He did not have a clause in his contract that required him to be available for re-shoots for any wage.  Once it became clear re-shoots would be needed and he was asked to do them, his agent did what any agent should do and that was to negotiate payment for his time.  Michelle either had a clause in her contract  or agreed that if re-shoots were needed she would do them for scale.  My understanding is that they are represented by the same agency, so why did the agency allow such differences for each of it's stars?  Please understand something, I am not a Mark Wahlberg fan.  I have my own feelings about him and his early career as a rapper.  Meanwhile Mark is being attacked because it took him  5 days to announce he will donate the money.  Mark didn't do anything wrong and if I were him, I wouldn't have donated anything.  He had better representation and he was entitled to be paid for his time.  Michelle was also entitled to be paid sufficiently for her time.  Unfortunately, she settled for scale wages when she was worth a lot more than that.  Is Hollywood and the public in general really blaming Mark for that!!!

I know it's tempting to minimize the brutality of one's past because no one wants to admit the capabilities needed to inflict such brutality on another human being.  However if America and particularly White America is ever going to move past these issues, then the admission of guilt, acceptance of responsibility and the determination moving forward to never see it happen again, must be a movement that is unstoppable.  Anything less will only result in what we have today, a society that pretends it's civilized and cultured but is really anything but.  Moving forward must include everyone, not just the privileged and must also understand the sorrow and pain inflicted on those who are not white and privileged as much as it sympathizes with it's privileged!!!

CHILDREN OF VIOLENCE

Violence and mayhem are everywhere.  It's a part of the American culture. Rightly or wrongly, we all are somewhat desensitized to it.  It's the only explanation as to why we tolerate it in any form still.  We send our children off to schools where they are bullied into committing suicide regularly.  This isn't a rare phenomenon anymore.  I will be the first to state that suicide is an extreme solution and I wish they were able to understand that their problem is ONLY TEMPORARY and that SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION!!!  I am so sick of seeing the stories of children bullied to the point that they take their own lives.  I'm sick of people blaming the victim, referring to them as weak and the inability to tolerate anything.  The real problem here is parents raising children who have no regard for other human beings, humanity and life.  Your first duty as a parent is to protect your child, but protecting one's child from the ails of society is almost impossible.  So no matter what, your child is going to be exposed to some negative aspects of our culture.  You can't avoid it.  Somehow parents have to give their children the courage and ability to withstand whatever comes their way and I know that is not an easy thing to do.  Children are being jumped in school, beaten and tortured beyond the point they can handle.  It seems to me that most of these assaults take place in the gyms and bathrooms.  Perhaps it's time to monitor these places and have an adult present at all times in each.  I know that cutbacks make it likely not to happen, but this is where parents and people in the community need to step up and volunteer to monitor these areas and make sure that children aren't being assaulted in any form.  I know we didn't have to do this when we were growing up, but times have changed.
Exploiting and abusing children unfortunately is not new in our society, but it has gotten so much worse. People seem to think that children exist for their convenience.  Well they don't.  Each child that is bought into this world deserves unconditional love from their parents, food,shelter and clothing.  You certainly don't have to dress your child in designer duds, live in an extravagant home or eat buy only organic food to be a good parent.  You just need to love them unconditionally, provide for them and discipline them when needed.  Providing structure and a loving environment for your children is your job as a parent.  That is how they grow their confidence and learn coping skills.  Preparing your children to face the world daily without you there is just is much a part of your job as feeding them.  For the parents out there doing their best, I applaud you.  For the parents out there who know their children are bullies and don't try to alter their behavior, careful someday your child is going to mess with the wrong person AND get the lesson of a lifetime and that person might just be you!!!!

How Do I See Thee

I am on social media a lot. I have personal as well as business pages and I have 2 blogs and at least one active website that I try to keep up with. I promise to do a better job of keeping all of these things current as I move forward.  I must make the time to keep them current and give people the information they may be seeking because that is largely how most people get, research and learn their information today.  So with that said, I think I'm pretty social media savvy and keep up with some of the trends and latest things being said.
One trend that I cannot stand and wish would slow down is the SELFIE TREND!!.  You want to know why this trend is so disturbing to me.  It's screams self indulgence!!! Really you have nothing better to do than take a few selfies an hour to update your posts.  I'm going to say a few things here that will probably offend many, but it needs to be said.

1.  Many of you are just too damn old to be taking pictures of yourself everyday as if you've changed  that much in a day to post to your social media accounts.  You were born in an era without cell phones and cell phones that record and take pictures.  The first cells to come out where so damn heavy and taking a picture wasn't a possibility.  So why do you now feel the need to document every moment of your life?  Some age better than others, but make no mistake we all age and it shows.  Taking pictures of yourself doing the most mundane of things.  Please give the rest of us a break.  You hold up lines, impose on others, risk accidents recording yourselves in your cars while driving and a whole host of other things, just to see or hear yourself talk whatever FOOLISHNESS you feel the need to share with the rest of us.  DROPPING PEARLS OF WISDOM, well DROPPING PEARLS OF BULLSHIT is more like it!!!!!  Please STOP!!!! 
2. Most of you do not look as good as you think you do.  Many of you are out of shape and it shows!!! Too many of you are unhealthy looking all the while posing with your food and drinks at some restaurant, party, cookout, dinner dates, etc.  What we are really thinking is DAMN HE/SHE GOT FAT!!!  You have this big smile on your face right before you devour a huge plate of food.  Most of you are not eating salads either in these pictures.  It's no wonder Americans are some of the fattest, unhealthiest people in the world.  They are already messing with our food supply, do we really have to assist by making such horrible food choices?  Then these same people will take a bathing suit shot at the beach and post it!!! I don't care what your friends and family tell you, you DO NOT LOOK GOOD!!! You look like you could wrestle a polar bear with your two hands.  We as a society have become enablers because we have all decided we would rather support each other's rising weight gains, than call each other out on it.  See if I say you look beautiful and give thumbs up to pictures of fat people, then I feel better about my own fat ass not doing anything.  It gives us all the excuse we need to keep accepting that getting larger and larger is okay.  WELL IT'S NOT OKAY!!!! We are all slowly killing ourselves, yet all the while telling ourselves, big is beautiful, bigger is better, so we don't have to take our fat lazy asses to the gym and exercise.  I refuse to play into this bullshit anymore.  I'm calling GAME OVER!!! 
3. Dressing for a body you no longer have is just sad and pitiful.  No one wants to see an old-head dressed like a teenager or hip hop artist over the age of 40.  You just look really silly.  When I see a bunch of  pictures on Facebook in a person's profile of people posing and making gestures in a certain way, I can tell they are immature because they are emulating the teenage and hip hop population.  It's usually not a good look.  I want people to be proud of who they are and how far they've come.  I want people to recognize they've earned the battle scars that life has left them with.  These scars are supposed to leave us wiser and smarter than we were before.  I am proud of my age and how far I've come in life because I know it was no easy feat and I'll be damn if I leave it unclaimed to behave like a teenager who knows JACKSHIT about life.  I can't behave like an empty headed silly little girl because I'm not one, nor do I want a man whose expression of himself reads or looks like some rapper from the hood.  
4. Sorry but many of you aren't as cute as you think you are either.  Everybody is told they're beautiful and we all are.  Just not always on the outside.  I know this may seem mean, but it's not.  Stop making videos about how we can look like you.  We don't want to look like you!! Every person has the potential to play up what they have and again, some of us do a better job than others at this.  This is why I write and not make to many videos.  I don't assume the world wants to look at me.  Many of you make all kinds of tutorials, some helpful, some not so much because you say you have a following and they want to know.  Okay!! Just be sure !!  You care  while weaved up, wigged up, hair colored up and enough make up for 3 people.  You aren't  your natural self, but telling us all how to beautiful like you think you are.   I cannot help but to notice these things as I am a very observant person.  Honestly I think many of you are hiding under self esteem issues so you present this bravado personality that doesn't match what I see.  You folks with low self esteem only fool other folks with low self esteem.  The rest of us see right through you even when we indulge you.

I know this is a personal pet peeve of mine, but I miss the days when people dressed for the occasion.  I wish we would return to being fashionable and chic instead of trendy and tacky!!!!

Bakari Henderson

I don't know the circumstances of exactly what happened to this young man, but I know that I don't believe what we are being told. This is a story that so far makes absolutely no sense. As his friend said in an interview; Why were there 10 men against him, for what reason? Well I have a few questions of my own. Where were all his friends when he was getting the life beaten out of him? Hell where were strangers? Why didn't someone intervene as reports are indicating there were no defensive wounds? Who just stands there and lets someone beat on them? Why were his attackers so bent on beating the life out of this man? I don't care what the attorney says about his client not meaning to be fatal. You don't continuously beat a man in his head, especially with brass knuckles if true and expect that no damage will be done. You mean to inflict some damage at the very least and death at most.  Why is the question that is not being addressed.  The limited information coming out of Greece about this incident is suspect.  Basically all they keep telling us and making sure to emphasis is, "It was the Serbs."  Okay it was Serbian people and not Greek people who did this.  Well Greece, that still doesn't let you off the hook.  If Serbian people are a problem and are prone towards violence, what are you doing about it?  If this violence is particularly an issue towards Americans and/or black people, don't you have an obligation to at the very least warn us?  I get you don't want the attack associated with Greeks because they didn't perpetrate this crime, but this did happen under the territory of Greece.  With an economy that is in ruins and tourism being one of the bright spots, I would think the Greek authorities would take whatever steps and action necessary to protect tourist.  I have read many opinions on Baraki and the company he chose to keep.  I will not comment on that here and leave that to others to dissect, other than to say if he thought surrounding himself with caucasian people would protect him from his blackness, then he found out in the harshest way possible that would not be the case.  He was young, very young and obviously had not got the lesson yet, that you cannot escape your blackness.  The only way to handle it, is to wear it proud and be secure in the knowledge of the greatness you come from.  Anything else is just counterproductive to your ability to shine.  Surrounding and surrendering yourself to the ideals that people wish you to be instead of who you are will always lead to an implosion of self.  My thoughts and prayers are with this young man's family.  However you see the situation, he DID NOT deserve to be beaten to death for whatever the stupid reason will turn out to be.

http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/friend-says-american-fatally-beaten-in-greece-was-selfless/

Another video floating around social media is very upsetting to me.  It's a video showing a man in Amsterdam hurling a black woman down a flight of stairs in an attempt to get her out of the apartment she and her friend were sharing.  Apparently the man felt they were overstaying their time and needed to get the next set of people in.  He was renting via AIRBNB which I have a whole host of reasons why black people should just stick with hotels and hostels than deal with some of the racial issues this newfound trend has bought out.  In a hotel or hostel environment, this would have not happened.  It would have been handled very differently.  For starters if working out keeping the room couldn't be done and they refused to leave, the police would have been called and escorted them out.  They would not have likely been thrown down stairs and treated like rag dolls.  I for one am tired of people thinking that its okay to disrespect black people, in particular black women and people need to understand that the majority of us are not going to react like Bakari Henderson and not defend ourselves and I'm not going to cry like a little girl if you put your hands on me.  I'm going to defend myself and I will be coming hard for anyone who I feel is a danger to my safety and well being, so please understand that before you approach me.  The soft and coons among us should not lull you into a false sense of security that we are scared cowards and won't fight back.  IT IS NOT TRUE!!!  Respect works both ways, you don't give it, you don't get it!!!!

https://www.facebook.com/blackexpat/videos/10154436701826853/

TOLERATING DISRESPECT

"Your throat must burn from swallowing back all that courage;
don’t you know that there is a fire in your story, in your trauma, in your pain,
and that there are people around you with dry wood in there chests,
waiting, to be ignited by your testimony,
waiting for just a spark from your lips,
barely holding on, waiting for the oxygen in your words to feed the flame they thought had long since died in them. 
they are waiting for you to open your mouth, and speak."      —  iammyss, speak

This cavalier attitude towards the disrespect of women coming from our current leader is so disappointing and I wish that women had not been the ones to put him in office. Like most women, I have had to deal with unpleasant encounters that would not have happened to a man.  The vulnerability that many women feel is real and we have a right to feel safe in any and all environments we're in. Some years ago, I was in my office working late along with a male colleague and the cleaning guy. Another colleague was in the area drinking and kept coming back and forth in the office (which was a storefront) while also harassing people on the street. By the time he came back to the office his final time, he was shirtless, his pants somewhat undone, I guess he was on his way to stripping in the street, He decided I was fair game and physically and verbally attacked me at my desk. I will spare you the ugly details of his actions, ugly words and the fight that broke out between us at my desk. My male colleague intervened and I walked away because I was so angry I knew in that moment I would kill him where he stood. As I made my way back to my desk, the police  arrived and arrested him. One of the patrons from the restaurant down the block he was harassing people at had called the police. He was taken away to a hospital (not jail) for treatment. As upset as I was, what really angered and hurt me deeply is that many of the men expressed more concern with what was going on with him than they were about my well being and safety.  They  planned to reach out to him and make sure he was okay.  One of my male colleagues actually said to me that Karma would come back at me if filed a complaint and got him fired.  He showed up to work the next morning like nothing happened. Some of the women I worked with approached the manager and made it clear they were uncomfortable with him being in the office. My male manager actually defended him and said he wasn't himself. He was fired later that day, but only after senior management made it clear to the manager that he had to go and he had to go now!!! Only one man in the office confronted him and made it clear his actions were unacceptable. The deafening silence coming from his male counterparts on his behavior spoke volumes and I will never forget it!!!!! It hurt more than the actual assault. It gave me an up close and personal look at the male culture of acceptance of tolerating disrespectful behavior towards women.   I refuse to live in a bubble and be afraid, but I am a lot more conscientious about making sure that I am as least vulnerable as I can be given the circumstances!!!

Say What !!

So suddenly a certain sector finds themselves under fire as Trump has kept good on one of his very vile promises to target Muslims and people from the Middle East.  As I understand it from the news stories, that people are being detained after arriving back at U.S. airports and sent back to wherever they're from.  Some have green cards, visas, jobs, etc.  The thing they all seem to have in common right now is their religion and region from which they come.  There are massive protests once again and airports are jammed with people shouting slogans, demanding justice and fighting back.  Good for them.  Again, I think its much to little, way to late.  This is yet another situation that could have been prevented if people bothered to show up and vote in the numbers they show up to protest. 
I cannot even imagine the horror these people must feel knowing that their whole lives are being turned upside down and inside out because half of the country really would like to see them gone. Don't delude yourself, that's why he was voted into office, they want you out.  They want a wall, fence or whatever object they think will hold you back from entering here.  If nothing else, I hope the stuff happening around our country really opens up the eyes of the American public who has been sleeping on the pulse of how many in the nation really feel.  I am saddened to see humanity stoop to such lowliness, but not surprised.  If you want to measure the goodness of a country, watch how they treat their own.  In doing that NO ONE SHOULD BE SURPRISED HOW MESSED UP THINGS ARE!!!!
American citizens of African descent have been treated like second class citizens since we were stolen and continue to be treated unfairly and unjust.  Rural citizens in extremely poor areas of this country fare a little better, but not much.  There's a need in this country to be of a class that is better than the next and as such, it has always caused a certain amount of friction.  White people have been led to believe that somehow black people are the cause of all that's wrong with this country, even though black people only make up 12-15% of the population and don't control much, but we're the problem. We are using up all the country's resources on welfare and food stamps.  When the plain, simple truth is the average person on welfare and food stamps in this country is poor and white.
We are used to this attitude and behavior.  Most immigrants arrive with the highest of hopes that America is a great country and they can do anything and be anything they want.  Some make their dreams come true and others live the rest of their time here somewhat disillusioned by the dream.  All are able to come and achieve whatever success they manage through a door that was opened by Black Americans during the civil rights movement.  Although Affirmative Action has been turned into a dirty phrase, we all know the biggest winners of Affirmative Action were and still are white women.  The civil rights movement allowed everyone who wasn't a white male to benefit.  Most do not acknowledge that their direct beneficiaries of the civil rights movement.  They like to think, they've made it on their own and therefore owe no one for their success, but you do.  You owe everyone of my ancestors and their peers who were beaten, raped, lynched, set on fire and countless other atrocities for marching to vote, for marching for equal rights, for marching for jobs, for marching for the rights that we all enjoy today.   Some know the debt they owe, but most don't and this is why I have sat out this issue as well.

When the women's march took place some where surprised, I didn't participate or speak much about it.  People who know me personally know I am recovering from being under the weather and assumed I just wasn't up for it.  This is not why I didn't speak out or march.  I explained in my previous post my position. (See post Aftermath)  For some of the same reasons, I refuse to speak out and march on behalf of the people being detained.  Unarmed innocent black people get killed in this country by the police, neighborhood watch bullies, etc all the time, men and women, even our children have been killed when police come to execute a warrant, and you never see any of these people out marching or speaking up on our behalf.  The only other ethnicity you will see besides a sea of mostly black faces is white people and God Bless the folks who aren't afraid to speak up.  If you see other ethnicities, its a few here or there, but never in large numbers.  So as far as I'm concerned this is not a problem for black people to undertake or deal with unless they choose to and I for one am sitting it out.  Of course, if he starts this mess with my African or Caribbean brothers and sisters THEN I WILL BE THERE !!!!!

AFTERMATH

 So fast forward and it's been two months since the country went to the polls and voted in Donald J. Trump as President of the United States of America.  Suddenly there are calls to be unified and bring the country together.  Let's hold hands, get over it and all sing Kumbaya while supporting a man who has mocked the disabled, made lewd and inappropriate statements about everybody!!! While some of his most damning statements have been about women, don't get it twisted, he has come for all.  While his supporters are calling for Kumbaya moments, there's a swell of people who are out in full force  protesting his swearing in and his inauguration.  Well as far as I'm concerned that's much too little, way to late!!! If people came out in droves on election day, like they're coming out now to protest him, he would have never ascended to the highest office in the land!!!

So 54 percent of white and hispanic women voted for him.  Judging by the numbers of women who showed up all around the country, some of them have since changed their minds and come out to disown him.  Well I say, "THANKS FOR NOTHING."  If you women had not chose to protect your white privilege first over everyone else, then he wouldn't be there.  When faced with a choice, you chose to protect your privilege and you didn't care the cost and who else it would affect.  Racism, sexism, mocking the handicap, undoing healthcare for 20 million Americans who need it, gutting the education system, being in partnership with Putin in any form, having twitter wars regularly, making alliances with known white supremacists, where all okay and a part of the bargain as long as you preserve "my" white privilege.  I don't know when white people are finally going to get that the cost of your privilege is TOO HIGH!! IT IS NOT A FREE RIDE, BUT IS PAID BY OTHERS!!!!

Now there are complaints that women of color, in particular black women weren't as visible (although the march was organized by a black woman).  Well this time you might be right.  I know I sat it out and I intend to continue to sit it out.  White women are the reason there's a problem and white women should fix it.  We black folks, in particular the women are tired of always having to stand up and do the fighting, especially unnecessary fights and this one was unnecessary!!!  We have so much we have to fight for and always take a stand for that we don't have room for the unnecessary stuff that shouldn't have happened.  As it is we have been fighting and standing up to racism for reasons that were never any fault of our own!! LET ME REPEAT THAT,  WE HAVE BEEN FIGHTING AND STANDING UP TO RACISM FOR REASONS THAT WERE NEVER ANY FAULT OF OUR OWN!!!! NOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO UNDERTAKE A BATTLE THAT MOST OF THE BLAME LITERALLY LIES AT THE FEET OF WHITE WOMEN!!! I DON'T THINK SO!!
Here are my feelings very plainly.  When we reach a time in our society when unarmed black women, (such as Sandra Bland killed by police in Texas) evoke the ire and wrath of the "white" feminist movement and they come out in huge numbers to protest and demand answers, or when they show up at school to protest a teenage black girl being flipped over in her chair by a police officer because she refused to get up. or when they protest a police department that shows up at a pool party in a nice neighborhood and proceeds to force a teenage black girl in a swimsuit to the ground while kneeing her in the chest as she cries for her mother because she's black (they do not even think of doing such a thing to the mostly white teenagers who were there. FYI this was a noise complaint)  as a response to a minor complaint, or when they knock a teenage girl down to the ground because she's riding her bicycle in a parking lot, or any of the hundreds of other ridiculous things that go on everyday all around this country directed at black people, but black women and girls in particular, then I'll worry about joining the march.  Until then I do not delude myself into thinking that these women represent or care about me or any of my black sisters in any way. 
Black people don't have the luxury of stepping out of their blackness to get a break.  It's there all the time.  There are other ethnic groups who feel they can pretend to be "white" or "white minded".  I leave them to learn on their own, its just an illusion they're feeding themselves.  I don't feel we should have to pretend to be anything but what we are.  We are made in the image of God and are his children and he DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES!!!

 Even the way the protestors were treated by different police departments around the country are like night and day!! There's footage of the Atlanta, GA Police Department, giving high fives and hugs. Such a contrast to when black folks come out to protest.  They're dressed in riot gear, ready to RELEASE tear gas and someone is getting arrested just because they're not going to let all those black folks be in one place and not arrest someone.  It's so hypocritical and shameful.  All of this because many in "White America" are angry a black man has been in charge of the country for the last eight years, so they elect one of the worst people on the planet to undo any progress President Obama has made in an attempt to destroy his legacy while attempting to take the country back to the slave trade days!!! Since being elected the true colors of many have come out and it ain't pretty!!!

Everyone seems to want to think that the racists are the old white guys dying out.  Well based on Fox and other cable channels, the things that float around the internet on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, that's not true.  The attacks on former President Obama and his family, specifically his wife were just awful.  Most of these insults are coming from a younger demographic and women. The above screen shot shows a woman who is supposed to be a doctor which makes her educated, successful and supposedly smart, talking about bringing back slavery so she can have a maid.  So she's fine with enslaving a group of people because she can use a maid.  Imagine being a patient of hers if you're black.  There's no way she's going to be concerned about your best interest.  So tell me about how far we've come and how racism is almost a thing of the past.  These people were waiting for a leader and he came along and he captured the White House, so America hold a big mirror up to your face and take a look at what you really are if you want to make real change, it starts with knowing who you really are!!!! In the meantime the march was just the beginning.  If you're not willing to speak up and out against these types of behavior, punish accordingly and let it be known we as a society will not tolerate it, then you're wasting your time!!!

Dear Trump Supporter

To all of the supporters, defenders and voters of President-elect, Donald Trump, THANK YOU!!!!.   There's something about pretensions being shattered that liberate the mind, body and soul.
I posted on my Facebook page earlier this month after the election results about how the real lesson here may be in seeing who we are letting in our lives.  We are colleagues, drinking, lunch and dinner buddies.  Some of us thought we were really good friends and others we knew were casual acquaintances in our daily lives.  What do we really know about each other, a few intimate things, maybe and maybe not.  Sometimes we like each other and sometimes we're pretending.  All of this as we go along to get along.  After all you don't want to be labeled difficult or anti-social.  What this election did was pull the covers off and ripped the scab off of America's bullshit. We are a country divided and the racists came out in full force to support this man.  It let's us know we have a long way to go and are still doing a lot of pretending!!!!

WELL NO MORE PRETENDING WITH ME!!!! We are sitting down to dinner, having drinks, having lunch and spending our time with people who were comfortable putting a racist, sexist, elitist in the White House.  I saw a meme that says, "You may not be a racist, but putting one in the White House wasn't a deal breaker."  Well I disagree, if you were comfortable putting one in the White House, it is because you agree with him. I've also heard all of the excuses, from I'm voting for my unborn grandchildren to what does it matter as long as he can fix the country.  The country was not broken.  It was just in the control of a black president which many of you couldn't stomach because as far as you're concerned a black man didn't belong in the White House!!! As far as your unborn grandchildren are concerned, they'll be born only if the mother carrying them wants them to be.  No president, future or past will be the reason your unborn grandchild lives or dies!!!
IF YOU'RE OKAY WITH DONALD TRUMP BEING PRESIDENT, YOU ARE NOT ABOUT MY CIVIL LIBERTIES AND RIGHTS!!! IT IS AN OXYMORON TO SAY YOU ARE A TRUMP SUPPORTER AND A CHRISTIAN, OR YOU BELIEVE IN HUMAN RIGHTS OR   GENDER EQUALITY!!!! Trump has nothing to do with God or humanity.  Trump is about Trump, always has been and always will be.  His record speaks for itself!!!

Yes we each have the right to support the candidate of our choice, but I also have the right to not engage with people who support such a candidate and who are about hate and bigotry and feel  racism and sexism is a cost of doing business.  I cannot allow someone in my life who thinks these issues are secondary to preserving their privilege.  Your privilege has come at a cost of others rights and hardships for far too long.  I would rather spend my time with those who understand that everyone should be extended the courtesy of being treated like a human being with dignity and given the opportunity to reach their maximum potential without interruption or interference from those whose hatred envelopes them!  If I don't matter to you, you certainly shouldn't matter to me!!!! Please do not tell me, you can be a supporter of Trump and not be a racist.  It isn't possible and don't delude yourself, you are not a nice person, a good person or a decent person who just happens to support Trump!!! I know I won't have the luxury of never dealing with any of his supporters, but I do have the option of not having a personal relationship with any of the ones I know about!!!!   AS IT TURNS OUT RACISM IS A DEAL BREAKER FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!

THE NEW YORK I GREW UP IN!!

WHAT I MISS ABOUT OLD NY!!!!

I miss the old New York that I grew up in. So many fond memories. I grew up in Harlem but was all over the city growing up. This city was our playground!!!  Harlem has changed. I miss going to breakfast at Copeland's and watching the horrible lounge singer they had in there at one point. He was funny and horrible all at the same time. I miss running in there to pick up dinner when I didn't feel like cooking. I miss Ms. Ruthie's. She didn't even start cooking until you ordered and then you had to be patient and wait. My goodness it was worth the wait.  She would pull out her cast iron pan and fry up some fish or chicken depending on your order.  All the while with a cigarette dangling from her mouth.  The good Lord only knows how many ashes we ate.   I miss Wimp's. You could get whatever your sweet tooth desired, banana pudding, sweet potato pies, coconut cake and on and on. I miss Georgie's which was located right across the street from Wimp's. Those doughnuts would have you giving up the nuclear code.  And, then there was, Ms. Marion's bakery,   You could smell the yeast rolls for blocks. Every day when I dropped my son off at school, I just had to have one with coffee for breakfast.  I miss M&G's, Wells Chicken & Waffles, Sherman's BBQ, Wilson's and so many more that are no longer open.

I lived right across the street from Rucker Park.  The park was known for it's basketball tournaments during the summer, but we took advantage of the park all year round.  You could listen to music from a live D.J.coming from the park. Somebody would inevitable get tired of hearing the loud music and call the police. LOL!!!

How many times did my father yell out of that window because I was moving too slow to go home!!I had to be in by dark and as soon as the sky started to slightly darken, my father would be in the window watching to see if we were coming in.  He had no shame hanging out the window and yelling your entire name reminding you that you better "Get your ass upstairs now." 

I miss my cousin's living here and visiting them regularly. Growing up my cousins were our play dates. My parents would pile us all in the car and head to Brooklyn to my Aunt Jean's & Uncle Nathaniel's place where we would hang out with our cousins on Sunday's after church. My cousins were pretty much the only black family in a predominantly Hasidic neighborhood.  So for a good chunk of my childhood, I hung out in a Hasidic neighborhood just about every Sunday with my cousins.  I loved every minute of it.

How many times where we on Decatur Avenue in the Bronx at my Aunt Penny's house hanging out with our cousins,  I would look forward to going to the Italian Deli on the corner for a great sandwich or walking to the White Castle on Fordham Road. At the time she moved in the neighborhood was still predominantly Irish and Italian.  It was so unlike Harlem that was mostly black and hispanic.  Fordham Road was and still is a major shopping hub.  We didn't do much shopping but we loved being out there in the crowd.  The only time I would really shop in the area is when my parents would bring us there to shop.

We knew the subway system like the back of our hand growing up. No school buses here!!!Growing up in NYC, you have to learn how to get around and learn the bus and subway system.  I was riding the subway to school by the time I was 11 so I had to know where I was going.  It just seemed so normal to me, I didn't even give it much thought.

During the 80's there probably is not a club in Manhattan that we didn't show up at dancing the night away. All of us skinny as pencils.  There was no shortage of places to dance the night away, Bentley's, Silver Shadow, Paradise Garage, Constellation, Hotel Diplomat, Savage, Bonds, Leviticus, The Red Parrot, Danceteria, etc,  They did not search you, so it was nothing for me and my friends to carry a flask in our purses with our own liquor in it.  We were also allowed to come and go as often as we liked.  They just stamped your hand before you left and it gave you the ability to come and go at will.  Not anymore, once you enter, you must stay until you're ready to leave.  We would come after work, get our hand stamped, go home, take a nap, take a shower, get dressed, get back to the club around midnight and dance the rest of the night away.

I didn't need to line up 2 days in advance to watch the ball drop in Times Square.  We would show up around 10:30pm or so and wait for the ball to drop.  No need to freeze, be searched, stand in one place or any of the madness that takes place today to watch this 10 second event happen.

I even miss the old Times Square.  I know it was sleazy and needed an update, but something about it gave the city a little more character and hutzpah.  Now it's just a generic landmark occupied by the same restaurants and stores you can find anywhere in the USA.  They just sit under the lights of Times Square.  Its the only difference.  Kind of makes you miss the old days of sleazy theaters and hookers.  They were way more interesting to watch than the average tourists fumbling around down there now!!! I won't even get started on all the characters that show up there just to jerk the tourist around!!! Tourist have also taken over 5th & 6th Avenue's as well.   Alas but this is supposed to be progress.  

A few other things I miss;

Reasonable rent.  My first apartment was a 2 bedroom in Harlem near City College and I paid less than $500 a month for rent.   So many people today of all ages live with roommates because they cannot afford an apartment of their own. 

Affordable Cab rides.  You could pretty much go from midtown to Harlem for about $10.

Real Broadway Shows.  Most of Broadway these days seem like one big Disney musical.  What happened to originality?  

Most of all I miss the Family and Friends I have lost over the years.  Growing up I have the fondest memories of my parents, family and friends.  It's not to say things were perfect because they weren't, but we had it pretty good.  We grew up in an era where we were held accountable for what we did and just as importantly, we had expectations placed on us we were expected to meet if not surpass.  I can truly say that I am glad I grew up during the time I did and had the parents, family and friends that I did.  They made my life interesting and they all taught me something.  As I have matured and moved on with life like everyone else, I continue to meet some of the most interesting and dynamic people in this city.  I wouldn't trade my time here for anything in the world.  I don't know if I will always live here because you never know what life has in store for you and where it will take you, but I know this, because I grew up here in NYC, I can handle just about anything that life brings my way.  I will always love this city and I will never regret being raised here!!!! A piece of my heart will always be here!!!

Food

I was always a thin person growing up.  Actually I was underweight growing up.  No I was not anorexic or suffering from any type of food disorder.  I was healthy and I ate my food, maybe not always all of it, but I ate pretty good.  Most of the people I knew were like me as well.   We were all a little on the skinny side.  We went outside and played and we came home and ate dinner.

In trying to understand why so many people are so obese today, I realized that a few things have changed.  We no longer have children running and playing outside on the street, in the park or in the yard, like we did growing up.  There seems to be an obsession with our phones, ipads, ipods, etc.  We are literally obsessed with our electronic devices.  So much so, that many don't even know how to properly communicate to and with others, but that is another post.  (which I do plan to address)  So we are no longer getting the exercise and workouts we got when we were children.  Also we danced every weekend somewhere.  Growing up in NYC there was no shortage of nightclubs or discos to go to.  So from Thursday to Saturday the party was on.  Sometimes we even got started on a Tuesday or Wednesday night.   Like I said, there was no shortage of clubs to party at here pretty much any night of the week you felt like going out.

The biggest factor I believe leading to our mass epidemic of obesity is our FOOD!!! Our food supply here in America has been hijacked by big corporations who are putting all kinds of poisonous stuff in our food.  When I say they are poisoning us, I don't mean with fast acting poisons like cyanide or something that will kill us quickly.  No they are killing us slowly with their GMO's, pesticides, antibiotics, dyes, chemicals and Lord knows what else they are putting in our food.  Even when you believe you are making the healthy choice with a plant base diet or lean meats, you are still not getting the best you can get unless you are buying certified organic, grass fed food.  And even then, who knows!!! The problem  is not only with the food but with the methods used to grow and feed it.  Farm raised fish, please somebody tell me WTF is that?   Chickens that are given shots to fatten them up and then kept cooped up in cramped surrounding are supposed to be as healthy as chickens that roam free and eat healthy feed.  STOP, SORRY NOT BUYING IT!!!!  Cows and Pigs that are kept in tight quarters that are also given hormones and shots to fatten them up.  They are also given antibiotics to keep them from getting sick because they aren't being raised in a natural environment.
Why is everything fed corn?  Well corn makes everything taste sweeter, so you're likely to consume more.  Why is their HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP in everything?   Do we really need our bread to be sweet, well of course we do, if we're going to consume more of it so the food companies can get richer and richer while poisoning us!!!!

Why are sugar substitutes so bad for you?  It is the one thing I will not do and that's drink a diet anything.  Why does our fruit taste like, well NOTHING!!!  It is so rare now to eat a piece of fruit that taste like anything.  When I buy fruit and it tastes good, if it's possible I quickly hurry back to the place of purchase and buy more because I don't know what I will get the next time,  Why is everything that is good for you so expensive?  Everything that is bad for you is relatively affordable.  You can walk into almost any grocery store and find a .99 cents loaf of white bread.  Over in the fresh produce aisle, blueberries (non organic mind you) will be at least $4.00 for a small box.  It is practically impossible for a family of modest means with children to eat healthy.  The only reason I can afford to eat healthy is because I'm only feeding me.  Thank God my son is an adult.  I would be hard pressed to figure out how to feed my family healthy food. My heart goes out to parents who want to do the right thing but can't afford to.  Something is terribly wrong with our society when we allow food companies to poison consumers freely without consequence.  The very people you need to keep you in business are the very people you poison daily.

American's better wake up and start demanding that their food supply be restored to full healthy origins of which it was meant to be consumed.  We are the only Western country that allows this.  Many of the things found in our food supply are not allowed in other western and civilized countries around the world.  I am reminded every time I travel out of the country and return just how horrible our food supply is.  I was recently in the U.K. and the food was so much better.  I forgot egg yolks are actually orange when farm fresh.  It's interesting how when I vacation in America, I come home and my clothes are a little tighter from the eating (because don't we all eat when on vacation), but when I leave the country I actually come back the same or a few pounds lighter.  So please don't tell me our food supply is healthy and studies show there's no difference in sugar substitute and cane sugar.  It is all a pile of MALARKY!!!!!   Our food is the main source of our weight gain, health issues and some mental issues.  I can't prove anything on a scientific level and no I am not a scientist.  Just an observant human being who believes that our country allows us to be poisoned everyday by our food supply because of greed!!! Our elected officials were supposed to be out voices, but that's not working out so well.  We the people don't have lobbyist on Capitol Hill lobbying for laws that will protect us from greedy, selfish pigs who don't give a damn about destroying our food supply in the name of Capitalism  BETTER WAKE UP!!!

Unapologetically Me

I am UNAPOLOGETICALLY BLACK!!!  Black is how the world sees me.  It is the first thing people notice about me.  I'm okay with that because BLACK is what I am. This is how God created me and he never makes mistakes.  I am proud to be a black woman.  It makes me part of a race of people who have overcome and continue to overcome some of the most abhorrent and hateful atrocities ever bestowed on humanity.  I am proud that I come from a people who are resilient, resourceful and determined. In the shortest time ever by any group of people so oppressed, we have made advances that are truly amazing.  The Civil Rights Act was only passed in 1964.  That's since I was born.  We have dealt with hundreds of years of slavery, the KKK, Jim Crow laws, cross burnings, church bombings, lynchings, rapes, assaults and just about everything else you can think of that can be done to degrade a human being.  The really sad thing is that black people are still being vilified today.  The vilification doesn't just come from white people, but other people of color as well as other black people.  I'm disappointed that so many who used the open door of Civil Rights to march through off the backs and blood of black people have only turned around to discriminate against black people themselves.  I believe in human rights, diversity and freedom, but for those who continue to use our door without having to pay dues and thumbing their noses at the black community, I say LET THEM STAND ON THEIR OWN, IN THEIR OWN ACCOMPLISHMENTS to see what they are truly made of!!!! Let's see if in 52 years they can rise to the level of our accomplishments and have their culture influence and dominate the world.  Let's see if they can get a President elected, dominate the areas of entertainment, sports,beauty, fashion, music, food and the arts.  Just about every trend this world sees starts on the streets in the hood.  People are paying good money for what is natural for black people, full lips, ample behinds, thick full natural hair, skin hues in colors that can't be duplicated, yet we are to believe that black people, especially women are undesirable, ugly and lack sensuality and sexuality!!! PLEASE, FEED THAT BULLSHIT TO SOMEONE ELSE, BECAUSE I KNOW BETTER!!!  If I love myself and am confident as a black woman, why does that bother so many?  It seems only when we behave as if we're broken and destroyed are others comfortable.  If you show any pride in yourself, your race or the accomplishments of your race, that's a problem!! I am black, that's what I am and I make no apologies for it.  I am proud of myself for surviving and thriving in a world that wasn't made for me.  I am proud of my people for accomplishing so much in such a short amount of time.  Our grandparents didn't have the options we had.  Most of them knew they could only look forward to a life of domestic work or hard labor.  The educated amongst them had to overcome such tremendous odds to become educated and still most only had the option of teaching or nursing as careers.  Today, black Americans have kicked the door in and down and  we will continue to do so because we are a people who have proven we can and we will.  The notion that we can't stick together and accomplish something is nonsense.  Look at all we have made happen.  PLEASE STOP LISTENING TO THOSE WHO WANT TO DIVIDE AND CONQUER.  I will continue to be vocal on any issues that I feel I need to.

I am UNAPOLOGETICALLY A CHRISTIAN.  I was born into a family of Christians and this is the faith my parents passed on to me.  As most people do, I strayed away from the Church and my spiritual growth.  I never lost my belief that there is a God, but did not always actively seek a relationship with God during my young adult years.  But then you grow up and something happens to make you realize that your faith and relationship with God is the most important relationship in this world you can develop.  As an adult I chose to re-ignite my faith and my relationship with God.   I do not shove my beliefs down anyone's throat and demand that they see things my way.  This is my choice and my decision to believe in God, to worship God as my Lord and Savior and to honor God by living my life in line with his word.  It doesn't mean I haven't made mistakes and fallen short many times, but I still keep trying.  I do not worry about being politically correct when it comes to God and his word.  I believe that Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Christ and that Easter is about celebrating the resurrection of Christ after his crucifixion.  I have no issues with other religions celebrating their beliefs and recognizing their holidays.  I do have a problem with people in a Christian nation (yes the majority of Americans are of Christian faith) being politically correct taking Christ out of Christmas and Easter.  These holidays exist solely for the purpose of celebrating Christ.  Anyone who has an issue with that should just sit it out.  It wasn't meant for them to be a part of.  I don't participate in Holidays and Observances that don't coincide with my beliefs and I'm fine with that.  I understand they're not for me.  As for those who believe that people of color shouldn't believe in a religion that they feel white people pushed on us,  Christianity existed in Africa and around the world long before we were taken from there.  Yes there have been some ugly things done in the name of Christianity and other religions.  We can't take the actions of mankind and turn them into weapons against faith.  When mankind does atrocious things in the name of religion, they are fulfilling their own need to destroy and not Gods.  I also know some people who call themselves Christians are nothing but troublemakers always looking to start something.  Again, these are human beings doing what they feel compelled to do which is destroy.  You can't let them get in the way of your faith and your journey with God.

I am UNAPOLOGETICALLY A WOMAN.  I was born a woman and will happily remain one the rest of my life.  I do not feel the need to compete with men or dumb myself down to be with a man.  I am a curious intelligent being who knows who she is and what I want, so please do not expect me to sacrifice my life, wishes and dreams to help you or be with you.  I want someone who will compliment me, not try to make me disappear into him.  I speak out on issues I feel negatively affect me as a woman and stand up for myself.  Once again, I'm not all that concerned with being politically correct when I feel my well being and safety are at stake.  Women are giving away all their power in the name of being politically correct and better start understanding that.  When I listen to some of the young ladies I know talk about their interactions with men and how they are treated, it saddens me because I know this is happening because they allow it.  I'm sad that these women fail to realize their true value and worth.  They need to understand that only they can demand respect for themselves and insist on being treated with respect, elevating their standard and rejecting anything less than what they deserve.  Worrying about losing someone who doesn't deserve you in the first place is a waste of time. We live in a time where people try to make you feel bad for aging, being curvy or not wanting to look like everyone else.  There's nothing wrong with wanting to look good and having nice things, but they shouldn't define who you are.  I don't want to be anything other than what I am, a beautiful, smart black christian woman. I don't want anyone trying to make me feel bad or less than because I am those things!!!!  Their are so many women today who are the first to line up and attack another woman for her beliefs, lifestyle and morals.  One day I hope women wake up and realize all the power they have given away in the name of political correctness.

Tears of Blackness

There is so much going on and I wanted to address a few of these issues . The depths of pain, frustration, anger, hurt and resentment felt by black people all over this world cannot be overstated.  The idea that so many out there think that blackness is equated with less humanity is infuriating!!!!

We have a black president who has been disrespected every day of his presidency by those who never wanted to see him in office in the first place.  I was not over enthusiastic when President Obama ran for the White House.  The truth be told I didn't think he would win and I never invested much of my time or emotions into his journey.  I was stunned on election night when he won.  I was proud as a black woman, but still nevertheless stunned!! I didn't believe a black person could win and be elected President in the U.S.   I quickly accepted that he was the next president of this country and went about my business as usual.  I don't have a lot of faith in politicians, so I don't get too caught up in any of it.  I exercise my civic duty and vote for what I always consider the "lesser" of two evils.  I try not to attack and disrespect leaders I don't like.  Again, I just keep it moving because I know eventually everyone's time is up.  A part of me recognized that as the first black president, he would be demonized and we would have to witness it.  People have all kinds of reasons why, but mostly, it's just plain old fashioned racism as is the case with most of the things happening today.

We have a "billionaire" and several other GOP candidates running for the privilege to live in the White House and rule this country who are now the poster children for Racism in America.  They are an international embarrassment.  The venom they spew when telling us about their beliefs and what they will do if they win supports the feelings of  distrust and concern people have about them.  Many racists hide behind religion to justify some of the things they do.  I don't know what God they serve, but the one I serve is a loving God and doesn't need our help judging his children.  Yes even they are his children.  What they've forgotten is, so are we.  Immigrants who want to deport immigrants.  Billionaires who want to cut aid and force even more people into poverty, a brilliant and gifted neurosurgeon who seems to be at the very least confused about his blackness and reality.  The really sad part of all of this are the people who support their hatefulness and meanness.  It just really lets us know, we still have a long way to go.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm almost sorry Jeb Bush dropped out of the GOP race!!!

Police departments around the country who are killing unarmed citizens for basically nothing are now upset with Beyonce for her video, "Formation"  So it's okay for police officers to continue to shoot and kill unarmed black people, but Beyonce can't speak out about it.  Again it seems that a group wants to be respected while denying the same respect to others.  Their response was to threaten to boycott her shows and not offer her security.  Don't most celebrities pay the local off duty police for their services? So are they saying they will forgo being hired by her for security?  That's sounds like a personal choice to me.  If they are on duty, then protecting the public is an obligation they get paid for whether they like it or not.   It's seems to me that too many (not all) police officers are childish, immature and like to throw the equivalent of an adult tantrum if they don't like something you say. Respect works both ways.  White people can siege a government building with weapons and stay there for weeks with no show of force, but Beyonce who is an artist can't express herself if her views are not in line with the police's.  I don't know sounds, racist to me, but I'm sure there are those who will defend the police no matter what they do, that is until they start killing your children, which if you haven't noticed, America, they're starting to do.  Corruption breeds cockiness!!

In New York City, police officer Peter Liang was convicted for the shooting death of an unarmed black man named Akai Gurley.  It marks the first time in over a decade that any New York City police officer has been convicted of such a crime.  This conviction upset the Asian community and they came out in support of Liang.  Many feel he is a scapegoat for the wrongs the NYPD have done in the black community and he is being sacrificed.  I watched some news footage of a young lady who is an Asian activist and she went on to explain how the asian community felt.  I couldn't help but notice that during her interview, she referred to them as the "favored" minority.  What she doesn't realize is that right there is the problem with why so many are upset and felt betrayed.  There is no such thing as a "favored" or "model"  minority in America.  We're all people of color on the outside trying to get in and unfortunately some learn that lesson the hard way.  It's demoralizing, demeaning and disappointing when you realize your value is significantly less than the white establishment.  Black people hold no delusions about where we stand in America.  We thrive in spite of it.  Mr. Liang set into motion a tragic and unnecessary death when he chose to take certain actions.  I do not believe his actions were spiteful or malicious, but they were neglectful and careless and because of him , a young father will never return home to his family.  Yes he has to pay for that.  Every decision Mr. Liang made in that stairwell and after the shooting showed his lack of experience, judgment and his inability to be an effective police officer.  It seems the argument is that if white officers can get away with it, why can't he?  The real truth is no one should be getting away with it and not punishing Mr. Liang doesn't put him on equal footing with white police.   The real question to ask is why he thought he should behave the way he did in the first place?  Why was his gun out when there was no immediate threat to his life?  Why was his hand on the trigger?  Why did he use a gun to push open the door, especially when his finger was on the trigger?  That was a disaster waiting to happen.  No he's not the only one that should face justice, but make no mistake about it, he should face justice and prison time.  Because of him, an innocent, unarmed man will never again walk this earth, be with his family or grow old.  MR. GURLEY DID NOTHING WRONG AND DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!  The fact that some believe he shouldn't be punished because white officers aren't punished is racist and racism in action.  I'm sorry but using that as justification is asinine and insane!!! Obviously the jury agreed!!

And finally the critics who are attacking the "Black Lives Matters" movement.  They are comparing the movement (as they did the Black Panthers) to hate groups and painting a picture of troublemakers trying to incite civil unrest.  Anytime black people stand up for themselves, it makes many nervous and puts them on the defensive.  Attacking instead of questioning why these types of organized movements are necessary is the real problem.  The Black Lives Matters movement nor the Black Panthers, have ever hung people from trees, raped and brutalized women, stolen and enslaved other human beings, burned crosses, lynched innocent men, women and children, bombed churches, kidnapped and killed civil rights worker, mutilated other human beings, stolen land and other possessions from owners, set human beings on fire, sold human beings as commodities, used human babies as bait for alligators and I could go on and on.  So when people open their mouths to refer to either of these movements or groups as some type of terrorism movement, what they are really saying is,  I'm uncomfortable with black people speaking out and standing up for themselves and  I don't know anything else to do but attack, because that's what we do here in America when we're trying to keep control.  Racism will lose one day because it's very nature is against God and I always bet on God!!!!!!!!!

FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

Financial responsibility is so important if you want to be able to afford your life.   Unfortunately,  many people don't understand just how important this is.  Money is an important factor in life and having enough seems to be a problem for most people.  In order to understand how much money plays a role in our society, you should start with knowing about money and the many roles it takes on.  There is Cash, Credit, Assets, Gold, Stocks, Bonds, Real Estate, etc.  To learn the specifics and differences about these,  you should buy a good book explaining them.   You should do this before you ever invest a penny or open a credit card account or buy a piece of real estate.   in other words before you start spending,  you should know exactly how all of this works and how it will affect you long term, specifically your credit, credit worthiness and ability to accumulate wealth. 

I am not a financial expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I have learned a little something over the years and made enough mistakes to warrant warning others!!! I also spent years with a successful man who taught me some things about money and accumulating wealth and although the relationship eventually fizzled, I haven't forgotten the things he taught me when we were together. 

 I have sold real estate for over 15 years in New York City and I have seen people barely qualified to purchase a home buy knowing that at some point unless their financial situation changes, they will default under the pressure.  It is very difficult being a homeowner and keeping up with all the things you have to do to maintain your property.  keeping its value, as well as paying your taxes, insurance and many other bills related to owning a home.  It is not for the barely qualified and financially irresponsible.  You will find yourself and your family in a bad situation if you don't keep your payments up and pay on time.  I've seen too many people over the years become landlords without fully understanding what that entails.  I know that the American dream is to own a home and that many people in the real estate business encourage people to buy multiple family homes for the rental income. They hold seminars and tell you that owning property is the best way to wealth and sell you their foolproof method of doing this.  Although owning a home is a part of building wealth, it is only feasible if you can afford it.   If you cannot afford your home without your tenants rental payment, then this is a bad idea.  You should have your own money  or have money set aside to pay your mortgage and cover repairs, whether your tenants pay you or not.  Many people become landlords and discover just how difficult it can be.  Tenants don't always pay you on time and if they're having financial difficulties, they may not pay you at all.  If you're dependent on their money, you now have a problem.  It will cost you money to take them to court and evict them.  It is money you will likely never recover.  In addition, there are laws that protect tenants that you will have to follow whether you tenant is paying rent on time or not at all, like providing heat and hot water and anything else you agreed upon that is provided in the lease.  You don't get to stop providing it just because they aren't paying.  So if you're financially strapped because you could barely afford your property, this is going to cause you a great deal of stress and anxiety.

I also know many homeowners that aren't landlords but own a single family home and are constantly looking for ways to cut costs, such as energy, heat, hot water etc and then want to invite you to their house to freeze in the winter and sweat in the summer.  I know many won't like this, but you probably really can't afford your home either.  If you cannot live in your home and enjoy it with comfortable temperature settings,  a hot water tank that produces hot water 24 hours a day and properly water your lawn, then you might want to reconsider your decision to own a home because it seems like it's a financial stretch for you.

With that said, becoming a homeowner is a great way to build wealth and there's nothing wrong with being a homeowner.  In most cases (with the exception of the housing meltdown) homes usually increase in value over time, so if you can hold on to your home, it will make you wealthier.   In the meantime, make sure you can afford it.  I know we have no way of knowing what the future will bring, but if you start off a homeowner who can barely afford your home, unless your finances change drastically, you will likely be a homeowner always struggling to keep it together and only you can decide if that's worth it for you. 

Flipping houses is another way, people get into real estate to make money.  You buy a house significantly below market value, make any necessary repairs and sell it at market value.  Again if you can afford it, it is another way to make money and build wealth.  You can get stuck with the property a while before it sells, especially in a bad market,  so be sure before you put all your money into a property expecting a full return because there are no guarantees.  If the property doesn't sell quickly or at all, you can lose your investment.

Luxury cars are another favorite of the population at large and I guess it's nice to own one ( I have never owned a car).  Some people in this country spend more on their car payments than rent, grocery or child support.   If you can truly afford it, then enjoy it.   However, if you pull up and park your luxury automobile in the parking lot of the projects, then you aren't being financially responsible or insuring your  financial future.  Cars start to lose value as soon as you drive it out of the dealership.  If you took those car payments and invested them over the years and let them grow, you might actually be able to become a homeowner who could afford their home.   My ex would only drive luxury cars, but he rarely bought them new or paid full price.  He would  go to auctions and buy cars.  If they were banged up then he would repair them like new.   He drove around in them payment free.  You enjoy something a whole lot more when you're not worried about how you're going to pay for it.

Fashion and designer clothes  are another big cost for many people.  We are a label obsessed society and I am a fashionista, love clothes, shoes , and purses so this is an area, I have to most practice some discipline.  I have had some financial issues over the years as well and have learned to be more financially responsible.  My taste hasn't changed and I still prefer designer clothes, I just don't pay full price for them anymore.  If I could have back every penny I every spent for clothes with the price tag on them I never wore and invested it,  I would probably be rich now.   The first thing I do now before I buy anything is decide do I really love it, if so, do I really need it?   Most of the time that ends my desire right there, but if I do decide to proceed with a purchase, THEN one or more of these happens: 

 it must be ON SALE!!!  I check to see if there are any coupons for a discount,  I wait until the end of season sales where items are discounted even further,  I compare prices to see which place has the item  lowest markdown,  I'm signed up at all my favorite  stores and designers to receive notice of discounts, sales, coupons and online specials.   I ask the manager or store clerk is there is any further discount they can give me.   Sometimes they have codes they can use to reduce an item even further.   If I find something I love at a really good deal and I can afford it, I buy it.  I am not a trendy person.  My taste is more classic so I don't tend to worry too much about something being out of style.  I don't care if the inventory is from last season.  I would rather buy good sturdy pieces that will last for years than a cheap special that will fall apart after you wash it.

One day if it is possible, we would all like to retire and enjoy a certain standard of living.  That starts right now with being more financially astute.  We spend a lifetime accumulating things that will only be left here for someone else to enjoy when we die and that's okay too, just enjoy your own life as much when you're here.  Let's be honest, we will need some money to do that!!!  How much depends on you and your life's plans.   Stop wasting and spend wisely because wasting is giving it away.  You might as well throw it out the window for your neighbors to enjoy.  It's been a BRUTAL lesson for me to learn but my philosophy is BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!!!

Woman in Gold

This column was inspired by a response I received on FaceBook to a status update I posted.  I decided to go a little more in depth about why the #BlackLivesMatters movement was inevitable!!!  Although this post is not about the movement, I hope it brings a little more clarity on why such movements are necessary.  Black people have had to fight for every step of progress made!!

I recently saw the movie Woman in Gold which stars Helen Mirren (whom I love) and Ryan Reynolds.  It is a great movie and is based on a true story.  It's a very poignant movie and addresses the issue of stolen wealth and the complications of trying to regain stolen wealth especially when that wealth was stolen due to racist policies and laws.  It also focuses on the lengths the Austrian benefactors were willing to go to keep what was taken.  The wealth and lifestyle stolen from her family will not be earned or amassed again by her, so this theft not only affected her immediate family but future descendants.   She fights to regain her family's stolen treasure and reclaim what's theirs.  Although this particular story happened in Austria, it really could have been the story of so many descendants of slaves here in America.  The loss of property, art and other valuables were permitted and has yet to be corrected.  When whites stole from our ancestors and robbed them of what was rightfully theirs, they also robbed us of what is rightfully ours.  You cannot pass on wealth if you do not have it.

Unfortunately America has not been willing to remedy it's past or atone for it.  The 40 acres and a mule never happened.  Many whites have wealth that was stolen from blacks and never returned to their descendants.  They passed it on to their descendants who it did not belong to.  For this reason when I read about how slavery is over and it's time to move on, it annoys the hell out of me because it's a limited and over simplified assessment of slavery and it's repercussions.  It does not address the issues or long term ill effects of slavery. It's easy for people who inherited the ill gotten wealth of others to want to move on and leave the past in the past.  If Black America collectively wants to forgive and move on then that would be our choice, but it isn't for others to make for us.  Anytime we speak about reparations or atonement, it is viewed as us wanting a handout.  Handout for what we endured, continue to endure and will continue to endure is insulting.

Austria has set up a system whereby, descendants of the Jewish population that were robbed of everything they ever had, have a means to make a claim.  The fact that you can make this claim in no way guarantees the return of stolen treasures.  No one wants to give up wealth, so these people are in for a fight and many times, come out on the losing end, but at least Austria has begun to acknowledge what happened and started the process of addressing it.  They have a long way to go before they can pat themselves on the back.  America hasn't even begun to admit and atone for the wrongdoings it has  inflicted on black people.  It has apologized to the Japanese for the camps.  It has apologized to Native American's and allows casinos for them to operate and accumulate some type of wealth.  It has been a safe haven for the Jewish community fleeing the horrors of the Nazi's and it has helped countless other ethnic groups who find themselves in need and it should. Yet, America has not apologized or attempted to correct the single most horrifying terroristic act it has committed and that was the enslavement of black people.  We were taken from our homeland of Africa, beaten, raped, brutalized, lynched, sold and separated from our families all in the name of free labor but there are still those out there who believe we should forget and move on like it never happened.

Here's why we can't.  We still live with racism and effects of slavery today. We have a shorter life span, higher rates of medical ailments, higher unemployment rates, higher death rates from treatable diseases, lower earnings and salaries while having the same or better credentials than our white counterparts, higher incarcerations rates, higher police fatality rates, lower promotion rates regardless of education. higher loan rejection rates, higher interest on loans rates, stricter requirements and lower favorable rates for home ownership, higher insurance rates based on our addresses and not our needs, higher rejections for business loans.  Our children are more likely to be labeled and placed in special education for just being kids, our children are more likely to be suspended, expelled or punished for the same infraction as a white student, the school is more likely to involve the police in a situation if the student is black, inner city black students attend more inferior schools than their white counterparts in the suburbs, yet our education system is supposed to be equal.  One just needs to look at social media outlets or the comments section of an article, whether the article is about race or not and all the insensitive, ignorant, stupid and demoralizing comments that are made to understand, we are a long way from equality.  A recent incident where a group of adults thought it was okay to post racist comments about a innocent and defenseless three year old child illustrates this point.  There are so many more things I can say, but I think you get my point.  We cannot even begin to think that all Americans are on equal footing and all have the same opportunities.  It is just a lie, a myth, an insult and an injustice.

We can't pass along wealth that was stolen from us.  I'm not saying that every white person stole from black people or every black person was wealthy but for those who did have land, created art that they were not allowed to keep, started businesses etc that were taken from them, their descendants never got the benefit of their ancestors fortitude to own or create.  Unlike Austria there is not a system of retribution set up here.  The U.S. Courts have consistently ruled that since black people were considered property at the time, we had no ownership of our assets and thus continue to issue rulings that are at the very least inhumane.  How about ruling the U.S. violated the principle that "ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL"  when it decided to get into the slave trade and that owning human beings as property was unjust and immoral.  The Declaration of Independence didn't make exclusions for skin color.   Since this ruling is not likely to be made, at least in my lifetime, we continue to deal with a system that will not return to us what is rightfully ours. This is a theme with people of color all  around the world. One of the reasons many Africans continue to remain poor and struggle is because they have yet to have what was stolen from them returned either.  Africa is an oil rich, diamond rich, mineral rich country and yet is one of the poorest nations in the universe.  The Aborigine people were the original inhabitants of Australia and remain shut out of the continent's wealth today.   Why is it that theft of assets from people of color around the world continues to happen?  GREED and CORRUPTION!!! The GREEDY and CORRUPT among us will never admit to their wrongdoings and will not relinquish our wealth as long as THEY DON'T HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!