TOLERATING DISRESPECT

"Your throat must burn from swallowing back all that courage;
don’t you know that there is a fire in your story, in your trauma, in your pain,
and that there are people around you with dry wood in there chests,
waiting, to be ignited by your testimony,
waiting for just a spark from your lips,
barely holding on, waiting for the oxygen in your words to feed the flame they thought had long since died in them. 
they are waiting for you to open your mouth, and speak."      —  iammyss, speak

This cavalier attitude towards the disrespect of women coming from our current leader is so disappointing and I wish that women had not been the ones to put him in office. Like most women, I have had to deal with unpleasant encounters that would not have happened to a man.  The vulnerability that many women feel is real and we have a right to feel safe in any and all environments we're in. Some years ago, I was in my office working late along with a male colleague and the cleaning guy. Another colleague was in the area drinking and kept coming back and forth in the office (which was a storefront) while also harassing people on the street. By the time he came back to the office his final time, he was shirtless, his pants somewhat undone, I guess he was on his way to stripping in the street, He decided I was fair game and physically and verbally attacked me at my desk. I will spare you the ugly details of his actions, ugly words and the fight that broke out between us at my desk. My male colleague intervened and I walked away because I was so angry I knew in that moment I would kill him where he stood. As I made my way back to my desk, the police  arrived and arrested him. One of the patrons from the restaurant down the block he was harassing people at had called the police. He was taken away to a hospital (not jail) for treatment. As upset as I was, what really angered and hurt me deeply is that many of the men expressed more concern with what was going on with him than they were about my well being and safety.  They  planned to reach out to him and make sure he was okay.  One of my male colleagues actually said to me that Karma would come back at me if filed a complaint and got him fired.  He showed up to work the next morning like nothing happened. Some of the women I worked with approached the manager and made it clear they were uncomfortable with him being in the office. My male manager actually defended him and said he wasn't himself. He was fired later that day, but only after senior management made it clear to the manager that he had to go and he had to go now!!! Only one man in the office confronted him and made it clear his actions were unacceptable. The deafening silence coming from his male counterparts on his behavior spoke volumes and I will never forget it!!!!! It hurt more than the actual assault. It gave me an up close and personal look at the male culture of acceptance of tolerating disrespectful behavior towards women.   I refuse to live in a bubble and be afraid, but I am a lot more conscientious about making sure that I am as least vulnerable as I can be given the circumstances!!!

Say What !!

So suddenly a certain sector finds themselves under fire as Trump has kept good on one of his very vile promises to target Muslims and people from the Middle East.  As I understand it from the news stories, that people are being detained after arriving back at U.S. airports and sent back to wherever they're from.  Some have green cards, visas, jobs, etc.  The thing they all seem to have in common right now is their religion and region from which they come.  There are massive protests once again and airports are jammed with people shouting slogans, demanding justice and fighting back.  Good for them.  Again, I think its much to little, way to late.  This is yet another situation that could have been prevented if people bothered to show up and vote in the numbers they show up to protest. 
I cannot even imagine the horror these people must feel knowing that their whole lives are being turned upside down and inside out because half of the country really would like to see them gone. Don't delude yourself, that's why he was voted into office, they want you out.  They want a wall, fence or whatever object they think will hold you back from entering here.  If nothing else, I hope the stuff happening around our country really opens up the eyes of the American public who has been sleeping on the pulse of how many in the nation really feel.  I am saddened to see humanity stoop to such lowliness, but not surprised.  If you want to measure the goodness of a country, watch how they treat their own.  In doing that NO ONE SHOULD BE SURPRISED HOW MESSED UP THINGS ARE!!!!
American citizens of African descent have been treated like second class citizens since we were stolen and continue to be treated unfairly and unjust.  Rural citizens in extremely poor areas of this country fare a little better, but not much.  There's a need in this country to be of a class that is better than the next and as such, it has always caused a certain amount of friction.  White people have been led to believe that somehow black people are the cause of all that's wrong with this country, even though black people only make up 12-15% of the population and don't control much, but we're the problem. We are using up all the country's resources on welfare and food stamps.  When the plain, simple truth is the average person on welfare and food stamps in this country is poor and white.
We are used to this attitude and behavior.  Most immigrants arrive with the highest of hopes that America is a great country and they can do anything and be anything they want.  Some make their dreams come true and others live the rest of their time here somewhat disillusioned by the dream.  All are able to come and achieve whatever success they manage through a door that was opened by Black Americans during the civil rights movement.  Although Affirmative Action has been turned into a dirty phrase, we all know the biggest winners of Affirmative Action were and still are white women.  The civil rights movement allowed everyone who wasn't a white male to benefit.  Most do not acknowledge that their direct beneficiaries of the civil rights movement.  They like to think, they've made it on their own and therefore owe no one for their success, but you do.  You owe everyone of my ancestors and their peers who were beaten, raped, lynched, set on fire and countless other atrocities for marching to vote, for marching for equal rights, for marching for jobs, for marching for the rights that we all enjoy today.   Some know the debt they owe, but most don't and this is why I have sat out this issue as well.

When the women's march took place some where surprised, I didn't participate or speak much about it.  People who know me personally know I am recovering from being under the weather and assumed I just wasn't up for it.  This is not why I didn't speak out or march.  I explained in my previous post my position. (See post Aftermath)  For some of the same reasons, I refuse to speak out and march on behalf of the people being detained.  Unarmed innocent black people get killed in this country by the police, neighborhood watch bullies, etc all the time, men and women, even our children have been killed when police come to execute a warrant, and you never see any of these people out marching or speaking up on our behalf.  The only other ethnicity you will see besides a sea of mostly black faces is white people and God Bless the folks who aren't afraid to speak up.  If you see other ethnicities, its a few here or there, but never in large numbers.  So as far as I'm concerned this is not a problem for black people to undertake or deal with unless they choose to and I for one am sitting it out.  Of course, if he starts this mess with my African or Caribbean brothers and sisters THEN I WILL BE THERE !!!!!

AFTERMATH

 So fast forward and it's been two months since the country went to the polls and voted in Donald J. Trump as President of the United States of America.  Suddenly there are calls to be unified and bring the country together.  Let's hold hands, get over it and all sing Kumbaya while supporting a man who has mocked the disabled, made lewd and inappropriate statements about everybody!!! While some of his most damning statements have been about women, don't get it twisted, he has come for all.  While his supporters are calling for Kumbaya moments, there's a swell of people who are out in full force  protesting his swearing in and his inauguration.  Well as far as I'm concerned that's much too little, way to late!!! If people came out in droves on election day, like they're coming out now to protest him, he would have never ascended to the highest office in the land!!!

So 54 percent of white and hispanic women voted for him.  Judging by the numbers of women who showed up all around the country, some of them have since changed their minds and come out to disown him.  Well I say, "THANKS FOR NOTHING."  If you women had not chose to protect your white privilege first over everyone else, then he wouldn't be there.  When faced with a choice, you chose to protect your privilege and you didn't care the cost and who else it would affect.  Racism, sexism, mocking the handicap, undoing healthcare for 20 million Americans who need it, gutting the education system, being in partnership with Putin in any form, having twitter wars regularly, making alliances with known white supremacists, where all okay and a part of the bargain as long as you preserve "my" white privilege.  I don't know when white people are finally going to get that the cost of your privilege is TOO HIGH!! IT IS NOT A FREE RIDE, BUT IS PAID BY OTHERS!!!!

Now there are complaints that women of color, in particular black women weren't as visible (although the march was organized by a black woman).  Well this time you might be right.  I know I sat it out and I intend to continue to sit it out.  White women are the reason there's a problem and white women should fix it.  We black folks, in particular the women are tired of always having to stand up and do the fighting, especially unnecessary fights and this one was unnecessary!!!  We have so much we have to fight for and always take a stand for that we don't have room for the unnecessary stuff that shouldn't have happened.  As it is we have been fighting and standing up to racism for reasons that were never any fault of our own!! LET ME REPEAT THAT,  WE HAVE BEEN FIGHTING AND STANDING UP TO RACISM FOR REASONS THAT WERE NEVER ANY FAULT OF OUR OWN!!!! NOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO UNDERTAKE A BATTLE THAT MOST OF THE BLAME LITERALLY LIES AT THE FEET OF WHITE WOMEN!!! I DON'T THINK SO!!
Here are my feelings very plainly.  When we reach a time in our society when unarmed black women, (such as Sandra Bland killed by police in Texas) evoke the ire and wrath of the "white" feminist movement and they come out in huge numbers to protest and demand answers, or when they show up at school to protest a teenage black girl being flipped over in her chair by a police officer because she refused to get up. or when they protest a police department that shows up at a pool party in a nice neighborhood and proceeds to force a teenage black girl in a swimsuit to the ground while kneeing her in the chest as she cries for her mother because she's black (they do not even think of doing such a thing to the mostly white teenagers who were there. FYI this was a noise complaint)  as a response to a minor complaint, or when they knock a teenage girl down to the ground because she's riding her bicycle in a parking lot, or any of the hundreds of other ridiculous things that go on everyday all around this country directed at black people, but black women and girls in particular, then I'll worry about joining the march.  Until then I do not delude myself into thinking that these women represent or care about me or any of my black sisters in any way. 
Black people don't have the luxury of stepping out of their blackness to get a break.  It's there all the time.  There are other ethnic groups who feel they can pretend to be "white" or "white minded".  I leave them to learn on their own, its just an illusion they're feeding themselves.  I don't feel we should have to pretend to be anything but what we are.  We are made in the image of God and are his children and he DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES!!!

 Even the way the protestors were treated by different police departments around the country are like night and day!! There's footage of the Atlanta, GA Police Department, giving high fives and hugs. Such a contrast to when black folks come out to protest.  They're dressed in riot gear, ready to RELEASE tear gas and someone is getting arrested just because they're not going to let all those black folks be in one place and not arrest someone.  It's so hypocritical and shameful.  All of this because many in "White America" are angry a black man has been in charge of the country for the last eight years, so they elect one of the worst people on the planet to undo any progress President Obama has made in an attempt to destroy his legacy while attempting to take the country back to the slave trade days!!! Since being elected the true colors of many have come out and it ain't pretty!!!

Everyone seems to want to think that the racists are the old white guys dying out.  Well based on Fox and other cable channels, the things that float around the internet on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, that's not true.  The attacks on former President Obama and his family, specifically his wife were just awful.  Most of these insults are coming from a younger demographic and women. The above screen shot shows a woman who is supposed to be a doctor which makes her educated, successful and supposedly smart, talking about bringing back slavery so she can have a maid.  So she's fine with enslaving a group of people because she can use a maid.  Imagine being a patient of hers if you're black.  There's no way she's going to be concerned about your best interest.  So tell me about how far we've come and how racism is almost a thing of the past.  These people were waiting for a leader and he came along and he captured the White House, so America hold a big mirror up to your face and take a look at what you really are if you want to make real change, it starts with knowing who you really are!!!! In the meantime the march was just the beginning.  If you're not willing to speak up and out against these types of behavior, punish accordingly and let it be known we as a society will not tolerate it, then you're wasting your time!!!

Dear Trump Supporter

To all of the supporters, defenders and voters of President-elect, Donald Trump, THANK YOU!!!!.   There's something about pretensions being shattered that liberate the mind, body and soul.
I posted on my Facebook page earlier this month after the election results about how the real lesson here may be in seeing who we are letting in our lives.  We are colleagues, drinking, lunch and dinner buddies.  Some of us thought we were really good friends and others we knew were casual acquaintances in our daily lives.  What do we really know about each other, a few intimate things, maybe and maybe not.  Sometimes we like each other and sometimes we're pretending.  All of this as we go along to get along.  After all you don't want to be labeled difficult or anti-social.  What this election did was pull the covers off and ripped the scab off of America's bullshit. We are a country divided and the racists came out in full force to support this man.  It let's us know we have a long way to go and are still doing a lot of pretending!!!!

WELL NO MORE PRETENDING WITH ME!!!! We are sitting down to dinner, having drinks, having lunch and spending our time with people who were comfortable putting a racist, sexist, elitist in the White House.  I saw a meme that says, "You may not be a racist, but putting one in the White House wasn't a deal breaker."  Well I disagree, if you were comfortable putting one in the White House, it is because you agree with him. I've also heard all of the excuses, from I'm voting for my unborn grandchildren to what does it matter as long as he can fix the country.  The country was not broken.  It was just in the control of a black president which many of you couldn't stomach because as far as you're concerned a black man didn't belong in the White House!!! As far as your unborn grandchildren are concerned, they'll be born only if the mother carrying them wants them to be.  No president, future or past will be the reason your unborn grandchild lives or dies!!!
IF YOU'RE OKAY WITH DONALD TRUMP BEING PRESIDENT, YOU ARE NOT ABOUT MY CIVIL LIBERTIES AND RIGHTS!!! IT IS AN OXYMORON TO SAY YOU ARE A TRUMP SUPPORTER AND A CHRISTIAN, OR YOU BELIEVE IN HUMAN RIGHTS OR   GENDER EQUALITY!!!! Trump has nothing to do with God or humanity.  Trump is about Trump, always has been and always will be.  His record speaks for itself!!!

Yes we each have the right to support the candidate of our choice, but I also have the right to not engage with people who support such a candidate and who are about hate and bigotry and feel  racism and sexism is a cost of doing business.  I cannot allow someone in my life who thinks these issues are secondary to preserving their privilege.  Your privilege has come at a cost of others rights and hardships for far too long.  I would rather spend my time with those who understand that everyone should be extended the courtesy of being treated like a human being with dignity and given the opportunity to reach their maximum potential without interruption or interference from those whose hatred envelopes them!  If I don't matter to you, you certainly shouldn't matter to me!!!! Please do not tell me, you can be a supporter of Trump and not be a racist.  It isn't possible and don't delude yourself, you are not a nice person, a good person or a decent person who just happens to support Trump!!! I know I won't have the luxury of never dealing with any of his supporters, but I do have the option of not having a personal relationship with any of the ones I know about!!!!   AS IT TURNS OUT RACISM IS A DEAL BREAKER FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!

THE NEW YORK I GREW UP IN!!

WHAT I MISS ABOUT OLD NY!!!!

I miss the old New York that I grew up in. So many fond memories. I grew up in Harlem but was all over the city growing up. This city was our playground!!!  Harlem has changed. I miss going to breakfast at Copeland's and watching the horrible lounge singer they had in there at one point. He was funny and horrible all at the same time. I miss running in there to pick up dinner when I didn't feel like cooking. I miss Ms. Ruthie's. She didn't even start cooking until you ordered and then you had to be patient and wait. My goodness it was worth the wait.  She would pull out her cast iron pan and fry up some fish or chicken depending on your order.  All the while with a cigarette dangling from her mouth.  The good Lord only knows how many ashes we ate.   I miss Wimp's. You could get whatever your sweet tooth desired, banana pudding, sweet potato pies, coconut cake and on and on. I miss Georgie's which was located right across the street from Wimp's. Those doughnuts would have you giving up the nuclear code.  And, then there was, Ms. Marion's bakery,   You could smell the yeast rolls for blocks. Every day when I dropped my son off at school, I just had to have one with coffee for breakfast.  I miss M&G's, Wells Chicken & Waffles, Sherman's BBQ, Wilson's and so many more that are no longer open.

I lived right across the street from Rucker Park.  The park was known for it's basketball tournaments during the summer, but we took advantage of the park all year round.  You could listen to music from a live D.J.coming from the park. Somebody would inevitable get tired of hearing the loud music and call the police. LOL!!!

How many times did my father yell out of that window because I was moving too slow to go home!!I had to be in by dark and as soon as the sky started to slightly darken, my father would be in the window watching to see if we were coming in.  He had no shame hanging out the window and yelling your entire name reminding you that you better "Get your ass upstairs now." 

I miss my cousin's living here and visiting them regularly. Growing up my cousins were our play dates. My parents would pile us all in the car and head to Brooklyn to my Aunt Jean's & Uncle Nathaniel's place where we would hang out with our cousins on Sunday's after church. My cousins were pretty much the only black family in a predominantly Hasidic neighborhood.  So for a good chunk of my childhood, I hung out in a Hasidic neighborhood just about every Sunday with my cousins.  I loved every minute of it.

How many times where we on Decatur Avenue in the Bronx at my Aunt Penny's house hanging out with our cousins,  I would look forward to going to the Italian Deli on the corner for a great sandwich or walking to the White Castle on Fordham Road. At the time she moved in the neighborhood was still predominantly Irish and Italian.  It was so unlike Harlem that was mostly black and hispanic.  Fordham Road was and still is a major shopping hub.  We didn't do much shopping but we loved being out there in the crowd.  The only time I would really shop in the area is when my parents would bring us there to shop.

We knew the subway system like the back of our hand growing up. No school buses here!!!Growing up in NYC, you have to learn how to get around and learn the bus and subway system.  I was riding the subway to school by the time I was 11 so I had to know where I was going.  It just seemed so normal to me, I didn't even give it much thought.

During the 80's there probably is not a club in Manhattan that we didn't show up at dancing the night away. All of us skinny as pencils.  There was no shortage of places to dance the night away, Bentley's, Silver Shadow, Paradise Garage, Constellation, Hotel Diplomat, Savage, Bonds, Leviticus, The Red Parrot, Danceteria, etc,  They did not search you, so it was nothing for me and my friends to carry a flask in our purses with our own liquor in it.  We were also allowed to come and go as often as we liked.  They just stamped your hand before you left and it gave you the ability to come and go at will.  Not anymore, once you enter, you must stay until you're ready to leave.  We would come after work, get our hand stamped, go home, take a nap, take a shower, get dressed, get back to the club around midnight and dance the rest of the night away.

I didn't need to line up 2 days in advance to watch the ball drop in Times Square.  We would show up around 10:30pm or so and wait for the ball to drop.  No need to freeze, be searched, stand in one place or any of the madness that takes place today to watch this 10 second event happen.

I even miss the old Times Square.  I know it was sleazy and needed an update, but something about it gave the city a little more character and hutzpah.  Now it's just a generic landmark occupied by the same restaurants and stores you can find anywhere in the USA.  They just sit under the lights of Times Square.  Its the only difference.  Kind of makes you miss the old days of sleazy theaters and hookers.  They were way more interesting to watch than the average tourists fumbling around down there now!!! I won't even get started on all the characters that show up there just to jerk the tourist around!!! Tourist have also taken over 5th & 6th Avenue's as well.   Alas but this is supposed to be progress.  

A few other things I miss;

Reasonable rent.  My first apartment was a 2 bedroom in Harlem near City College and I paid less than $500 a month for rent.   So many people today of all ages live with roommates because they cannot afford an apartment of their own. 

Affordable Cab rides.  You could pretty much go from midtown to Harlem for about $10.

Real Broadway Shows.  Most of Broadway these days seem like one big Disney musical.  What happened to originality?  

Most of all I miss the Family and Friends I have lost over the years.  Growing up I have the fondest memories of my parents, family and friends.  It's not to say things were perfect because they weren't, but we had it pretty good.  We grew up in an era where we were held accountable for what we did and just as importantly, we had expectations placed on us we were expected to meet if not surpass.  I can truly say that I am glad I grew up during the time I did and had the parents, family and friends that I did.  They made my life interesting and they all taught me something.  As I have matured and moved on with life like everyone else, I continue to meet some of the most interesting and dynamic people in this city.  I wouldn't trade my time here for anything in the world.  I don't know if I will always live here because you never know what life has in store for you and where it will take you, but I know this, because I grew up here in NYC, I can handle just about anything that life brings my way.  I will always love this city and I will never regret being raised here!!!! A piece of my heart will always be here!!!

Food

I was always a thin person growing up.  Actually I was underweight growing up.  No I was not anorexic or suffering from any type of food disorder.  I was healthy and I ate my food, maybe not always all of it, but I ate pretty good.  Most of the people I knew were like me as well.   We were all a little on the skinny side.  We went outside and played and we came home and ate dinner.

In trying to understand why so many people are so obese today, I realized that a few things have changed.  We no longer have children running and playing outside on the street, in the park or in the yard, like we did growing up.  There seems to be an obsession with our phones, ipads, ipods, etc.  We are literally obsessed with our electronic devices.  So much so, that many don't even know how to properly communicate to and with others, but that is another post.  (which I do plan to address)  So we are no longer getting the exercise and workouts we got when we were children.  Also we danced every weekend somewhere.  Growing up in NYC there was no shortage of nightclubs or discos to go to.  So from Thursday to Saturday the party was on.  Sometimes we even got started on a Tuesday or Wednesday night.   Like I said, there was no shortage of clubs to party at here pretty much any night of the week you felt like going out.

The biggest factor I believe leading to our mass epidemic of obesity is our FOOD!!! Our food supply here in America has been hijacked by big corporations who are putting all kinds of poisonous stuff in our food.  When I say they are poisoning us, I don't mean with fast acting poisons like cyanide or something that will kill us quickly.  No they are killing us slowly with their GMO's, pesticides, antibiotics, dyes, chemicals and Lord knows what else they are putting in our food.  Even when you believe you are making the healthy choice with a plant base diet or lean meats, you are still not getting the best you can get unless you are buying certified organic, grass fed food.  And even then, who knows!!! The problem  is not only with the food but with the methods used to grow and feed it.  Farm raised fish, please somebody tell me WTF is that?   Chickens that are given shots to fatten them up and then kept cooped up in cramped surrounding are supposed to be as healthy as chickens that roam free and eat healthy feed.  STOP, SORRY NOT BUYING IT!!!!  Cows and Pigs that are kept in tight quarters that are also given hormones and shots to fatten them up.  They are also given antibiotics to keep them from getting sick because they aren't being raised in a natural environment.
Why is everything fed corn?  Well corn makes everything taste sweeter, so you're likely to consume more.  Why is their HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP in everything?   Do we really need our bread to be sweet, well of course we do, if we're going to consume more of it so the food companies can get richer and richer while poisoning us!!!!

Why are sugar substitutes so bad for you?  It is the one thing I will not do and that's drink a diet anything.  Why does our fruit taste like, well NOTHING!!!  It is so rare now to eat a piece of fruit that taste like anything.  When I buy fruit and it tastes good, if it's possible I quickly hurry back to the place of purchase and buy more because I don't know what I will get the next time,  Why is everything that is good for you so expensive?  Everything that is bad for you is relatively affordable.  You can walk into almost any grocery store and find a .99 cents loaf of white bread.  Over in the fresh produce aisle, blueberries (non organic mind you) will be at least $4.00 for a small box.  It is practically impossible for a family of modest means with children to eat healthy.  The only reason I can afford to eat healthy is because I'm only feeding me.  Thank God my son is an adult.  I would be hard pressed to figure out how to feed my family healthy food. My heart goes out to parents who want to do the right thing but can't afford to.  Something is terribly wrong with our society when we allow food companies to poison consumers freely without consequence.  The very people you need to keep you in business are the very people you poison daily.

American's better wake up and start demanding that their food supply be restored to full healthy origins of which it was meant to be consumed.  We are the only Western country that allows this.  Many of the things found in our food supply are not allowed in other western and civilized countries around the world.  I am reminded every time I travel out of the country and return just how horrible our food supply is.  I was recently in the U.K. and the food was so much better.  I forgot egg yolks are actually orange when farm fresh.  It's interesting how when I vacation in America, I come home and my clothes are a little tighter from the eating (because don't we all eat when on vacation), but when I leave the country I actually come back the same or a few pounds lighter.  So please don't tell me our food supply is healthy and studies show there's no difference in sugar substitute and cane sugar.  It is all a pile of MALARKY!!!!!   Our food is the main source of our weight gain, health issues and some mental issues.  I can't prove anything on a scientific level and no I am not a scientist.  Just an observant human being who believes that our country allows us to be poisoned everyday by our food supply because of greed!!! Our elected officials were supposed to be out voices, but that's not working out so well.  We the people don't have lobbyist on Capitol Hill lobbying for laws that will protect us from greedy, selfish pigs who don't give a damn about destroying our food supply in the name of Capitalism  BETTER WAKE UP!!!

Unapologetically Me

I am UNAPOLOGETICALLY BLACK!!!  Black is how the world sees me.  It is the first thing people notice about me.  I'm okay with that because BLACK is what I am. This is how God created me and he never makes mistakes.  I am proud to be a black woman.  It makes me part of a race of people who have overcome and continue to overcome some of the most abhorrent and hateful atrocities ever bestowed on humanity.  I am proud that I come from a people who are resilient, resourceful and determined. In the shortest time ever by any group of people so oppressed, we have made advances that are truly amazing.  The Civil Rights Act was only passed in 1964.  That's since I was born.  We have dealt with hundreds of years of slavery, the KKK, Jim Crow laws, cross burnings, church bombings, lynchings, rapes, assaults and just about everything else you can think of that can be done to degrade a human being.  The really sad thing is that black people are still being vilified today.  The vilification doesn't just come from white people, but other people of color as well as other black people.  I'm disappointed that so many who used the open door of Civil Rights to march through off the backs and blood of black people have only turned around to discriminate against black people themselves.  I believe in human rights, diversity and freedom, but for those who continue to use our door without having to pay dues and thumbing their noses at the black community, I say LET THEM STAND ON THEIR OWN, IN THEIR OWN ACCOMPLISHMENTS to see what they are truly made of!!!! Let's see if in 52 years they can rise to the level of our accomplishments and have their culture influence and dominate the world.  Let's see if they can get a President elected, dominate the areas of entertainment, sports,beauty, fashion, music, food and the arts.  Just about every trend this world sees starts on the streets in the hood.  People are paying good money for what is natural for black people, full lips, ample behinds, thick full natural hair, skin hues in colors that can't be duplicated, yet we are to believe that black people, especially women are undesirable, ugly and lack sensuality and sexuality!!! PLEASE, FEED THAT BULLSHIT TO SOMEONE ELSE, BECAUSE I KNOW BETTER!!!  If I love myself and am confident as a black woman, why does that bother so many?  It seems only when we behave as if we're broken and destroyed are others comfortable.  If you show any pride in yourself, your race or the accomplishments of your race, that's a problem!! I am black, that's what I am and I make no apologies for it.  I am proud of myself for surviving and thriving in a world that wasn't made for me.  I am proud of my people for accomplishing so much in such a short amount of time.  Our grandparents didn't have the options we had.  Most of them knew they could only look forward to a life of domestic work or hard labor.  The educated amongst them had to overcome such tremendous odds to become educated and still most only had the option of teaching or nursing as careers.  Today, black Americans have kicked the door in and down and  we will continue to do so because we are a people who have proven we can and we will.  The notion that we can't stick together and accomplish something is nonsense.  Look at all we have made happen.  PLEASE STOP LISTENING TO THOSE WHO WANT TO DIVIDE AND CONQUER.  I will continue to be vocal on any issues that I feel I need to.

I am UNAPOLOGETICALLY A CHRISTIAN.  I was born into a family of Christians and this is the faith my parents passed on to me.  As most people do, I strayed away from the Church and my spiritual growth.  I never lost my belief that there is a God, but did not always actively seek a relationship with God during my young adult years.  But then you grow up and something happens to make you realize that your faith and relationship with God is the most important relationship in this world you can develop.  As an adult I chose to re-ignite my faith and my relationship with God.   I do not shove my beliefs down anyone's throat and demand that they see things my way.  This is my choice and my decision to believe in God, to worship God as my Lord and Savior and to honor God by living my life in line with his word.  It doesn't mean I haven't made mistakes and fallen short many times, but I still keep trying.  I do not worry about being politically correct when it comes to God and his word.  I believe that Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Christ and that Easter is about celebrating the resurrection of Christ after his crucifixion.  I have no issues with other religions celebrating their beliefs and recognizing their holidays.  I do have a problem with people in a Christian nation (yes the majority of Americans are of Christian faith) being politically correct taking Christ out of Christmas and Easter.  These holidays exist solely for the purpose of celebrating Christ.  Anyone who has an issue with that should just sit it out.  It wasn't meant for them to be a part of.  I don't participate in Holidays and Observances that don't coincide with my beliefs and I'm fine with that.  I understand they're not for me.  As for those who believe that people of color shouldn't believe in a religion that they feel white people pushed on us,  Christianity existed in Africa and around the world long before we were taken from there.  Yes there have been some ugly things done in the name of Christianity and other religions.  We can't take the actions of mankind and turn them into weapons against faith.  When mankind does atrocious things in the name of religion, they are fulfilling their own need to destroy and not Gods.  I also know some people who call themselves Christians are nothing but troublemakers always looking to start something.  Again, these are human beings doing what they feel compelled to do which is destroy.  You can't let them get in the way of your faith and your journey with God.

I am UNAPOLOGETICALLY A WOMAN.  I was born a woman and will happily remain one the rest of my life.  I do not feel the need to compete with men or dumb myself down to be with a man.  I am a curious intelligent being who knows who she is and what I want, so please do not expect me to sacrifice my life, wishes and dreams to help you or be with you.  I want someone who will compliment me, not try to make me disappear into him.  I speak out on issues I feel negatively affect me as a woman and stand up for myself.  Once again, I'm not all that concerned with being politically correct when I feel my well being and safety are at stake.  Women are giving away all their power in the name of being politically correct and better start understanding that.  When I listen to some of the young ladies I know talk about their interactions with men and how they are treated, it saddens me because I know this is happening because they allow it.  I'm sad that these women fail to realize their true value and worth.  They need to understand that only they can demand respect for themselves and insist on being treated with respect, elevating their standard and rejecting anything less than what they deserve.  Worrying about losing someone who doesn't deserve you in the first place is a waste of time. We live in a time where people try to make you feel bad for aging, being curvy or not wanting to look like everyone else.  There's nothing wrong with wanting to look good and having nice things, but they shouldn't define who you are.  I don't want to be anything other than what I am, a beautiful, smart black christian woman. I don't want anyone trying to make me feel bad or less than because I am those things!!!!  Their are so many women today who are the first to line up and attack another woman for her beliefs, lifestyle and morals.  One day I hope women wake up and realize all the power they have given away in the name of political correctness.