Woman in Gold

This column was inspired by a response I received on FaceBook to a status update I posted.  I decided to go a little more in depth about why the #BlackLivesMatters movement was inevitable!!!  Although this post is not about the movement, I hope it brings a little more clarity on why such movements are necessary.  Black people have had to fight for every step of progress made!!

I recently saw the movie Woman in Gold which stars Helen Mirren (whom I love) and Ryan Reynolds.  It is a great movie and is based on a true story.  It's a very poignant movie and addresses the issue of stolen wealth and the complications of trying to regain stolen wealth especially when that wealth was stolen due to racist policies and laws.  It also focuses on the lengths the Austrian benefactors were willing to go to keep what was taken.  The wealth and lifestyle stolen from her family will not be earned or amassed again by her, so this theft not only affected her immediate family but future descendants.   She fights to regain her family's stolen treasure and reclaim what's theirs.  Although this particular story happened in Austria, it really could have been the story of so many descendants of slaves here in America.  The loss of property, art and other valuables were permitted and has yet to be corrected.  When whites stole from our ancestors and robbed them of what was rightfully theirs, they also robbed us of what is rightfully ours.  You cannot pass on wealth if you do not have it.

Unfortunately America has not been willing to remedy it's past or atone for it.  The 40 acres and a mule never happened.  Many whites have wealth that was stolen from blacks and never returned to their descendants.  They passed it on to their descendants who it did not belong to.  For this reason when I read about how slavery is over and it's time to move on, it annoys the hell out of me because it's a limited and over simplified assessment of slavery and it's repercussions.  It does not address the issues or long term ill effects of slavery. It's easy for people who inherited the ill gotten wealth of others to want to move on and leave the past in the past.  If Black America collectively wants to forgive and move on then that would be our choice, but it isn't for others to make for us.  Anytime we speak about reparations or atonement, it is viewed as us wanting a handout.  Handout for what we endured, continue to endure and will continue to endure is insulting.

Austria has set up a system whereby, descendants of the Jewish population that were robbed of everything they ever had, have a means to make a claim.  The fact that you can make this claim in no way guarantees the return of stolen treasures.  No one wants to give up wealth, so these people are in for a fight and many times, come out on the losing end, but at least Austria has begun to acknowledge what happened and started the process of addressing it.  They have a long way to go before they can pat themselves on the back.  America hasn't even begun to admit and atone for the wrongdoings it has  inflicted on black people.  It has apologized to the Japanese for the camps.  It has apologized to Native American's and allows casinos for them to operate and accumulate some type of wealth.  It has been a safe haven for the Jewish community fleeing the horrors of the Nazi's and it has helped countless other ethnic groups who find themselves in need and it should. Yet, America has not apologized or attempted to correct the single most horrifying terroristic act it has committed and that was the enslavement of black people.  We were taken from our homeland of Africa, beaten, raped, brutalized, lynched, sold and separated from our families all in the name of free labor but there are still those out there who believe we should forget and move on like it never happened.

Here's why we can't.  We still live with racism and effects of slavery today. We have a shorter life span, higher rates of medical ailments, higher unemployment rates, higher death rates from treatable diseases, lower earnings and salaries while having the same or better credentials than our white counterparts, higher incarcerations rates, higher police fatality rates, lower promotion rates regardless of education. higher loan rejection rates, higher interest on loans rates, stricter requirements and lower favorable rates for home ownership, higher insurance rates based on our addresses and not our needs, higher rejections for business loans.  Our children are more likely to be labeled and placed in special education for just being kids, our children are more likely to be suspended, expelled or punished for the same infraction as a white student, the school is more likely to involve the police in a situation if the student is black, inner city black students attend more inferior schools than their white counterparts in the suburbs, yet our education system is supposed to be equal.  One just needs to look at social media outlets or the comments section of an article, whether the article is about race or not and all the insensitive, ignorant, stupid and demoralizing comments that are made to understand, we are a long way from equality.  A recent incident where a group of adults thought it was okay to post racist comments about a innocent and defenseless three year old child illustrates this point.  There are so many more things I can say, but I think you get my point.  We cannot even begin to think that all Americans are on equal footing and all have the same opportunities.  It is just a lie, a myth, an insult and an injustice.

We can't pass along wealth that was stolen from us.  I'm not saying that every white person stole from black people or every black person was wealthy but for those who did have land, created art that they were not allowed to keep, started businesses etc that were taken from them, their descendants never got the benefit of their ancestors fortitude to own or create.  Unlike Austria there is not a system of retribution set up here.  The U.S. Courts have consistently ruled that since black people were considered property at the time, we had no ownership of our assets and thus continue to issue rulings that are at the very least inhumane.  How about ruling the U.S. violated the principle that "ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL"  when it decided to get into the slave trade and that owning human beings as property was unjust and immoral.  The Declaration of Independence didn't make exclusions for skin color.   Since this ruling is not likely to be made, at least in my lifetime, we continue to deal with a system that will not return to us what is rightfully ours. This is a theme with people of color all  around the world. One of the reasons many Africans continue to remain poor and struggle is because they have yet to have what was stolen from them returned either.  Africa is an oil rich, diamond rich, mineral rich country and yet is one of the poorest nations in the universe.  The Aborigine people were the original inhabitants of Australia and remain shut out of the continent's wealth today.   Why is it that theft of assets from people of color around the world continues to happen?  GREED and CORRUPTION!!! The GREEDY and CORRUPT among us will never admit to their wrongdoings and will not relinquish our wealth as long as THEY DON'T HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!

Ferguson

Where do we begin with this one?  This country has always been a dangerous place for black people.  It is a world that was not created for us and does not take our unique experience into consideration.  Honestly, it doesn't even acknowledge our unique history and experiences in America.  In spite of all of that, we have as a race thrived and prospered anyway.  This disheartening and demoralizing lack of concern and value for the life of black people in this country is despicable.

 For over 400 years the descendants of Africa have been fighting for their rights in this country.  Of late, there has been much talk of the different types of black experiences and lineage of black people in this country and around the world for that matter.  I am not attempting in anyway to address all these types of lineages and experiences.  I am a descendant of African slaves and my family has been in this country for at least a couple hundred years as my family tree indicates.  I am speaking only about the millions of us who are descendants of African slaves and have been in the country for many generations.  I know many are offended about being grouped in with the terminology African American and I want to be clear, I am not speaking about them.  I will leave them to tell their own story.   I am addressing the generations of  mistreatment and continued systematic cover up of the intentional police misconduct aimed at causing harm to black people.

From slavery and it's historical devaluing of black life including the rapes, lynching, burning, mutalitings, beatings and killings of millions of innocent African people to Willie Lynch and Jim Crow laws, black people weren't supposed to survive.   We didn't just survive, but we organized, fought back and founded the Civil Rights Movement stood up for ourselves and demanded our equal rights.   As a result, the civil rights movement was signed into law.  Just about every suppressed group around the world today uses this as an example to stand up for themselves and fight back.  We created the blueprint for others to follow.

The lack of value of black life isn't just a problem outside of our community, but within as well.  Our young people must understand the true price paid for their freedom and the ability to make available to them choices their ancestors never had.  The materialistic existence that so many of them have has lead them to place value and worth on the wrong things.  Idleness is the enemy of success.  I would encourage all of our young people to find something that really interests you and learn all you can about it.  Even if it you have to do it for free, learn it, master it and one day it will lead you to a place where it earns you success.  People suffered greatly and many gave their lives so you could be free.   Your life is either an example for humanity or a stain on it!!!

The police who are sworn to protect and serve have turned into (maybe they were all along) an organization used to dole out street justice, like any other gang of thugs on the streets.  Killing unarmed black people seems to go unpunished because many believe the lies the police tell, they feel they must have done something to deserve it.  Many of these infractions they are being accused of is NOT PUNISHABLE BY DEATH!!! If these men lived to be prosecuted or punished, death wouldn't even be an option.  I venture to say that most would have the charges dismissed since we are talking about petty nonsense to begin with.  So why is a person who sells loose cigarettes on the street dead by a police chokehold for a crime that wouldn't even gotten him jail time?  Why is a little boy with a toy gun shot dead, especially when you were told before arriving on scene that the gun was likely a toy?  Was there some local law that took effect declaring death now become the punishment for carrying a toy gun?  Don't tell me he shouldn't be playing with a toy gun.  When all little boys including little white boys are told to stop playing with toy guns, then we can talk!!!  Why is a child who was walking before the police arrived suddenly crying out in pain and unable to walk or hold himself up and then later dies of injuries from his broken back not treated immediately or taken for medical help?  Better yet, why is he handled with such force by a group of solid size men  that his back and spine get broken?  Why is a man who owes child support shot eight times in the back?  I can't think of one woman I know who would like to see their ex be shot over child support, if for no other reason than, you'll never get your money.  These men are treated so inhumanely because society does not value them.  They are being taken away from their families and communities because racist police officers who should not be patrolling are using deadly force as a first defense.  After watching some of the footage that has come to light, you can't even say they're afraid, since so much of this is done so cold bloodily.  This isn't fear, it's disdain, hatred, arrogance and racism in full display for all the world to see.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating.  People only do what they do, because they don't believe they will be judged and answer for it one day.  If you need any further proof of that just look at what's going on in the world today.  Each morning each of us that rise and meet the day, have been given permission by God to be here.  When someone removes one of us, they are telling God, you made a mistake, but don't worry, I took care of it for you. I guess they don't think he will ever demand an explanation from them.

Memories

Starting the new year off right seems to be at the top of everyone's resolution wish.  How long  most people stick to their resolutions is anyone's guess, but I'm guessing not long.  For many of us this is the time to renew broken promises we made to ourselves, begin afresh something we say we're going to do, lose weight, find another job, open a business, join a gym, take a vacation, etc.  The list is endless.  I wish you all success with whatever endeavor you seek and encourage you to do it whether it lasts or not.

I did not make any resolutions this year.  It begins for me with the decision to move on.  After suffering the loss of my mother in November 2013, I spent most of 2014 coming to terms with this loss.  Losing a parent is a significant loss and especially when it's your sole remaining parent   You walk around feeling like an orphan and somewhat insecure, because let's face it, no matter who old we are, we still need our parents.  I have decided that my mother would want me to go on and not only live my life, but enjoy my life.  In order to do that, I must let go of her and things in my past that keep me from moving forward.  Mostly, I feel like I would be leaving her, my dad and my brother behind.  I know that is not the case, but it felt like it.  I am a Christian so I believe with all my heart that my mother is in heaven with God and wouldn't come back if she could.  Who would leave heaven and the presence of God to return to this earth?

So my promise to myself is that I will take as many steps as I need to move ahead and go on with my new reality.  It's a different life.  When people are removed from our lives for whatever reason, death, divorce, moving away, our lives are not the same, at least not initially, if ever.  It's funny how things happen that forever change you, but people expect you to be the same.  I was already in a state of reassessing and reemerging before this happened.  My life has been in a state of unpredictability for years now and all the while on a learning curve.  I realized that I have to some degree, cut myself off from my own renewal not wanting to incur any more setbacks or pain. If I am to ever fulfill my life's purpose, I have to begin to experience life again on a more proactive level and be more focused on what needs to be done instead of crippled by pain, fear and dread.  I've always been a person who rolled with the punches and kept it moving until a few years ago.  Life knocked me down and for whatever reason,  I didn't really rally the way I should have.  We only have so much fight in us, so maybe I just surrendered to it because it was easier than fighting.  I know that aging and being tired (as only another single parent can understand) caught up to me.  So now I accept it all and release myself from it. It is no longer my burden to carry,

What does 2015 have in store for me.  I don't know, but I do know that as long as I hold fast to God and keep praying, I stand more than a chance of being okay.  As for my mother, father and brother, they will live on through me and in my memory for as long as I walk this earth.  I know that they all want the best for me and wish me the best.  If they could I know they would say, no more weeping, no more mourning.  We have left you with plenty of fond memories to keep your heart warm, NOW GO AND LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Untimely Death

Death is a part of life and it's finality is what pains us most when we lose someone we love.  Having recently lost my mother, I am still grappling with the pain and heartache of losing someone you love and accepting that you will never see them again in this life on this earth.  Being a Christian and a believer in Jesus Christ, I wholeheartedly believe I will see my mother again in the kingdom of Heaven.
No matter which form death comes for us, it will be a painful loss to face. That loss is all the more compounded when you lose a loved one to senseless and unnecessary violence.  The rash of killings that are victimizing our young people are particularly troubling and disturbing.  They not only have to contend with being victims of violence by their own, but also the police who have always been very cavalier about black life,  Throw into that mix the police wannabees and racist homeowners arming themselves and killing our young people "out of fear for their lives."  This isn't new, using the disguise of legality with statutes like "Stand Your Ground" laws, claims of self defense and fear, the disdain and contempt for black life have all converged to equal death for our youngsters.  Every person of color lives with the knowledge that in this world, we are not valued and our lives means little to many including some of our own.  God saw fit to place us here and continues to allow us to be here everyday, yet many believe that it is their birthright to end our existence as they see fit.  It is truly mind boggling after all these years of being emancipated that there are still many among us bred through the generations who continue to believe they are better and more deserving of life than others.  When you decide that another human being doesn't belong here and must die, in effect what you have determined is that God made a mistake and you will remedy that mistake.  I have said it before, and I will say it again and again. "People do what they do simply because they do not believe they will answer for their actions one day.  People do not believe they will be judged."

Resentment

Oh my where do I start with this one?  I will admit I had a moment where I was watching a couple of these shows because I had unrealistic expectations of uplifting entertainment. I am over adults, who behave like idiots and exhibit underlying resentment and jealousy towards others!!! There is always a storyline about some overgrown child masquerading as an adult, having a moment!!!
Why are some attacking people, verbally, physically and psychologically over the silliest of things.  If I were not a black woman and knew better I would think that all black women are loud, obnoxious, silly and immature. When you turn on the television and spend 3 minutes watching any reality show, that is the way we come across.  You have all these unattractive, overweight, classless, tacky sisters on TV  (Yes I said it)  yelling at the top of their lungs, attacking each other over the most mundane of things, "you said, I said."  Really?  Have we regressed collectively back to junior high school and all become the "Mean Girls" of the day?  The attention grabbing antics they all have become experts at is so pathetic!!! These women are shallow and seem to resent each other over everything.  Everyone is vying for the most attention and to be the star.   Based on news reports of the trouble some get into, most are living beyond their means.  A bunch of middle class income people are pretending to be mega rich and are going into debt, committing crimes, having affairs with married men, pimping themselves out to wealthy men and so much more to give an appearance of a luxurious life!!!  They welcome gold digger status and openly back stab each other to get what they want.  Watching some of them attack the weaker or less vocal among them to make themselves feel good is so wretched.   A recent reunion show of one of these shows illustrates how ugly it can get when the claws come out.  Anyone with half a brain could see that there was so much resentment and jealousy directed towards one of the cast in particular.  The real minder blower is that there are women out here who are actually taking advice from these clowns, supporting their endeavors to get rich and even more obnoxious, emulating them and admiring them.
The men on these shows are just as bad.  Most of them act more like little GIRLS, than men!!!! They get involved in these petty, catty and deceitful antics and I guess this makes them feel important.  Lord I miss the good old days when people with dignity and class would never be caught dead behaving like this in public.  The men on these shows are nothing  like the men I know.  The men I know would not put up with such nonsense and they would not behave like little girls on a field trip in high school.  I guess the love of money is the root of all evil because we have turned into a people that are willing to sell our credibility, dignity, values, peace of mind and souls to the highest bidder!!!!

Loss

Losing someone we love is so hard.  It really turns our world upside down.  I recently lost my mother and it is one of the most painful experiences I've had in my life. I am now a daughter without parents.  I lost my father over 24 years ago, so my mom was the only parent my sisters, brother and I had left.  I am heartbroken over the loss of my mother, but I am also at peace on a much deeper level because I know my mother has gone home to be with God.  As a practicing Christian and a believer in Christ, I do not mourn my mother's death as a loss of life in the traditional sense. I view it as a transformation of earthly life to heavenly life.  I mourn for me and my siblings and those who loved her because we no longer have her here in our lives.  I am relieved that her worries and hardships are over and that she suffers no more from sickness and the stress of living life on this earth where the wicked seem to rule.  My mother was a steadfast believer in the goodness of Christ and she shared her faith with her children (more so her daughters which is another topic for another day).

Sometimes looking at old photos are painful and sometimes they give me great joy.  What I have come to realize when looking at old pictures of my family is that so many of them are already gone.  I would like to say they have all transitioned to glory and are with God, but I'm not actually sure they all are.  Some of us accept the Lord and some of us don't.  It is a personal choice for each of us to make.  In my immediate family half are already gone.  I have lost my parents and a brother.  I thank God for each of them and cherish the memories. I still have two sisters and a brother so I am not alone, but we are dwindling in numbers.
This also makes you realize that you should cherish and appreciate those in your life who have your back and will be there for you.  I have been fortunate enough to have a few really solid people who are good friends in my life.  As for my extended family, there are those who you can turn to for help, those who would help but can't and those who won't help even if they could.  This is probably everyone's family.  I choose to love each of them regardless, but keep a safe distance from those who keep their hearts closed to people. I really can't handle any unnecessary drama and you know family can bring it at times.  I strive everyday to be better.  Sometimes I fall short but most days I make a little progress.  I want to be all I can be and enjoy my life as much as I can before it's my turn to be called home. I do not fear this process because I know that I will join my mother and many others in the presence of Jesus Christ and our heavenly father.  I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior and live my life as a born again Christian so one day I can be in his presence.  It is a day that I will rejoice!! In the meantime while I am here I will continue to experience loss and I will continue to pray that God give me the strength to handle it.  I know that death is inevitable but until then I plan to keep living!!!!

Maturation

Maturation should be a continuous process in life.  When I am out and about, one of the things I do is people watch.  Living in the great city of New York, there are plenty of people to observe.  I enjoy meeting new people and learning new things.  It keeps us from becoming to rooted and stale in our behavior.  I am increasingly disappointed in the lack of maturity I see in people today.  We have become a society of instant gratification, lack of discipline, lack of consideration, have lost focus on what's really important and we celebrate stupidity.  What's worse is that those who know better are often reluctant to speak out so they don't.  If you don't agree with the masses, you could face serious repercussions, so I do understand the reluctance to speak out, but is that really an excuse?  Too many people in history have stood up to and faced hostility to defend what they know is right.

In this era of cell phones equipped with video recorders and social media we are really getting a first hand look at human behavior in the 21st century.  To often the picture is NOT PRETTY!!!!  We get to see out of control young people behave like 2 year old toddlers and want to fight about everything.  You know what I take that back, it's an insult to 2 year old toddlers!!! By the time you've reached your teenage years, the word, NO, should not be a strange unheard of word to you.  You should be familiar with it.  If you aren't then shame on your parents, because that's a pretty good indication, that they've always given you your way and whatever you wanted.  That's one way to set the groundwork for a really selfish adult who's totally self centered.

We have adults who want to still behave as if they're teenagers.  I don't know if there is anything sadder in this world than an adult who is obviously to old to behave like a 16 year old but does it anyway.  Trying to compete with young people is a clear sign you have yet to grow up.   If you have truly matured, then you understand that you don't need to compete with them and honestly you can't anyway.  You would know that if you were being honest with yourself.  Honesty isn't exactly at the top of the list of priorities for immature people.  They prefer to believe they're own bull.

Cell phones and social media are wonderful tools to reach and stay in touch with people.  Too many people use them as a means to personally attack, bother, harass, stalk and bully other people.  If you are on your cell phone having an intensely personal conversation without any regard to those around you, then you are one of the people I'm talking about.  Do us all a favor and either SHUT UP or find a more private space to retreat  to and have your conversation.  I really don't want to hear what you're talking about.  It's inconsiderate to the people around you and your personal information doesn't need to be discussed in front of strangers.
 As for the people who use social media as a tool to harass others, you just come off as pathetic angry bitter people.  If your life is a together as you would have us believe then, you shouldn't have time to be on social media attacking people. Mature people don't go on social media to settle their difference with others.

For the men who try to pick up women on social media, you're all LOSERS!!!!! Yes I said it.  For most women, it's a serious turn-off and a sign that you might be DERANGED!!!!  The world is full of people.  We're all surrounded everyday by people, so you should have no problem meeting people and talking directly to them.  It's how we sum each other up.  It is an invaluable tool when determining a person's character.  The fact that you stalk strange women on social media speaks volumes about you and it's not a good thing!  Grown mature men don't need Facebook to get women!!!!!!! Seasoned men have charm, intellect, sophistication and a decent conversation to interest the opposite sex.  They don't post, inbox, email, or text inappropriate pictures!!!! FYI if you send me an  inappropriate photo I will use it to embarrass you.  Everyone you know including, your mother, father, siblings, boss, pastor, children and anyone else I can think of will get a copy of that picture.  So think twice before sending one to me!!!!

If you're hired to do a job, then do it.  Don't sit there with an attitude because you don't really want to be there.  Go and be where you really want to be, doing what you really want to do.  In the meantime, if you take the job, then do the job.  Don't give me attitude.  I don't care if you're unhappy.  In life sometimes we do things that have nothing to do with our happiness to survive.  It's called GROWING UP!!! More people should try it.  It is only when you've reached a point of total honesty about who and what you are can you CONTINUE  the process to evolve into the person you were meant to be.  IMMATURITY INTERRUPTS this process.  Maturing is about constantly evolving into your higher self, the person God intended for you to be.  When you fail to grow up and insist on remaining in a permanent state of immaturity, you deny yourself the opportunity to be who you really should be.  You send a message to your children that it's okay to be stuck in a mental state of mediocre.  I don't care how successful you are in other things in life, you aren't even close to accomplishing anything until you grow into the self God made you to be!!!!!