We are entering the summer season so that means 4th of July, Independence Day is coming. So it's a perfect time to speak about the topic of independence, particularly being independent. Having recently gone through some things that left me in a position of depending on other people a little more than I am comfortable with reinforced my motto.
HAVE YOUR OWN!!!! No matter what you have to do, make sure that you have your own whatever you need, car, money, home, spouse, job, etc..... You do whatever you have to do, work twenty jobs, sell blood and vital organs, if you marry money, get a good pre-nup, I mean whatever you have to do, DO IT!!!
The price of gas is high and rising, so everyone wants a fortune in gas money to take you anywhere, luckily in New York we can get on the subway or bus. I was away for a while and needed to rely on people with cars to get around and it was daunting. People expect you to fill their tanks to catch a 5-10 minute ride and I couldn't help but wonder why? You know that you need gas, your only mode of transportation is to drive. Why aren't you properly budgeting to keep gas in your car? It's not as if gas is optional. You require it to get around. Perhaps if you reset your priorities, you can manage to buy your own gas. I have no issue contributing to your tank but lets be fair about it. I shouldn't have to fill up your tank for a five minute ride.
Heating fuel is expensive, I get that, but you wanted to be a home owner. If you cannot afford to heat your home, or make repairs you cannot afford your home. Too many people went out and bought property that they could not afford. When you start to factor in the costs associated with owning a home in addition to the mortgage, you can quickly be overwhelmed if you're not prepared. You can't rent to tenants and then not provide heat or make repairs because you can't afford it. Then you have the nerve to want top dollar for rent. Please do not invite me to your house for dinner, drinks or anything else and you're to cheap or too poor to provide heat and if I were your tenant I would sue you.
Money does not grow on trees as we all know. Most of us don't have as much as we need these days, but we make do. Don't ask to borrow money from me, I have none to give you. Even if I did, you can be sure I need it myself. Having recently returned to school to earn a Graduate degree, I cannot afford to look in the mirror for free, so don't ask me for money. You won't get it. Might I suggest another job, side business, garage sale, pawn your jewelry, sell blood or whatever!!!! JUST DON'T ASK ME!!!!
If you are married and you trust your spouse and can rely on them, well good for you. That is how it should be, however too many of you out there are married or have significant others who you should be able to ask for anything you need but for some reason can't. I have no advice for you except to say, DO NOT TRY TO SUBSTITUTE ME FOR THEM!!!! I never promised you anything and I cannot fulfill their commitments. As an unmarried woman, it seems strange to me that married women cannot get whatever they need from their spouses. Why do you need to borrow from me, especially when he has a job? The excuse that you and your husband don't comingle your money is interesting being that you comingle everything else. If I can't ask my spouse for what I need, then he shouldn't be my spouse. I'M JUST SAYING!!!!
LASTLY BUT NOT LEASTLY, I DON'T BABYSIT!!!! Those are your children, you wanted them and you're responsible for them. I don't care if you're tired, need a break or some "me" time. If your children were well behaved, maybe, just maybe, I might consider it. However since your children are mostly little demons, I can't be bothered. I wish you all the best with parenthood, but I've paid my dues and I'm done. It's your turn now, so handle it. If you are overwhelmed and need a break, stop being cheap and spring for a babysitter. JUST DON'T CALL ME!!!!
If you cannot afford to do any of these things, then perhaps you should consider joining me in going to grad school and seriously upping your earnings potential because you're too poor to afford your lifestyle. You might want to consider downsizing, trading in your baller lifestyle for one you can actually afford.
