Untimely Death

Death is a part of life and it's finality is what pains us most when we lose someone we love.  Having recently lost my mother, I am still grappling with the pain and heartache of losing someone you love and accepting that you will never see them again in this life on this earth.  Being a Christian and a believer in Jesus Christ, I wholeheartedly believe I will see my mother again in the kingdom of Heaven.
No matter which form death comes for us, it will be a painful loss to face. That loss is all the more compounded when you lose a loved one to senseless and unnecessary violence.  The rash of killings that are victimizing our young people are particularly troubling and disturbing.  They not only have to contend with being victims of violence by their own, but also the police who have always been very cavalier about black life,  Throw into that mix the police wannabees and racist homeowners arming themselves and killing our young people "out of fear for their lives."  This isn't new, using the disguise of legality with statutes like "Stand Your Ground" laws, claims of self defense and fear, the disdain and contempt for black life have all converged to equal death for our youngsters.  Every person of color lives with the knowledge that in this world, we are not valued and our lives means little to many including some of our own.  God saw fit to place us here and continues to allow us to be here everyday, yet many believe that it is their birthright to end our existence as they see fit.  It is truly mind boggling after all these years of being emancipated that there are still many among us bred through the generations who continue to believe they are better and more deserving of life than others.  When you decide that another human being doesn't belong here and must die, in effect what you have determined is that God made a mistake and you will remedy that mistake.  I have said it before, and I will say it again and again. "People do what they do simply because they do not believe they will answer for their actions one day.  People do not believe they will be judged."

Resentment

Oh my where do I start with this one?  I will admit I had a moment where I was watching a couple of these shows because I had unrealistic expectations of uplifting entertainment. I am over adults, who behave like idiots and exhibit underlying resentment and jealousy towards others!!! There is always a storyline about some overgrown child masquerading as an adult, having a moment!!!
Why are some attacking people, verbally, physically and psychologically over the silliest of things.  If I were not a black woman and knew better I would think that all black women are loud, obnoxious, silly and immature. When you turn on the television and spend 3 minutes watching any reality show, that is the way we come across.  You have all these unattractive, overweight, classless, tacky sisters on TV  (Yes I said it)  yelling at the top of their lungs, attacking each other over the most mundane of things, "you said, I said."  Really?  Have we regressed collectively back to junior high school and all become the "Mean Girls" of the day?  The attention grabbing antics they all have become experts at is so pathetic!!! These women are shallow and seem to resent each other over everything.  Everyone is vying for the most attention and to be the star.   Based on news reports of the trouble some get into, most are living beyond their means.  A bunch of middle class income people are pretending to be mega rich and are going into debt, committing crimes, having affairs with married men, pimping themselves out to wealthy men and so much more to give an appearance of a luxurious life!!!  They welcome gold digger status and openly back stab each other to get what they want.  Watching some of them attack the weaker or less vocal among them to make themselves feel good is so wretched.   A recent reunion show of one of these shows illustrates how ugly it can get when the claws come out.  Anyone with half a brain could see that there was so much resentment and jealousy directed towards one of the cast in particular.  The real minder blower is that there are women out here who are actually taking advice from these clowns, supporting their endeavors to get rich and even more obnoxious, emulating them and admiring them.
The men on these shows are just as bad.  Most of them act more like little GIRLS, than men!!!! They get involved in these petty, catty and deceitful antics and I guess this makes them feel important.  Lord I miss the good old days when people with dignity and class would never be caught dead behaving like this in public.  The men on these shows are nothing  like the men I know.  The men I know would not put up with such nonsense and they would not behave like little girls on a field trip in high school.  I guess the love of money is the root of all evil because we have turned into a people that are willing to sell our credibility, dignity, values, peace of mind and souls to the highest bidder!!!!

Loss

Losing someone we love is so hard.  It really turns our world upside down.  I recently lost my mother and it is one of the most painful experiences I've had in my life. I am now a daughter without parents.  I lost my father over 24 years ago, so my mom was the only parent my sisters, brother and I had left.  I am heartbroken over the loss of my mother, but I am also at peace on a much deeper level because I know my mother has gone home to be with God.  As a practicing Christian and a believer in Christ, I do not mourn my mother's death as a loss of life in the traditional sense. I view it as a transformation of earthly life to heavenly life.  I mourn for me and my siblings and those who loved her because we no longer have her here in our lives.  I am relieved that her worries and hardships are over and that she suffers no more from sickness and the stress of living life on this earth where the wicked seem to rule.  My mother was a steadfast believer in the goodness of Christ and she shared her faith with her children (more so her daughters which is another topic for another day).

Sometimes looking at old photos are painful and sometimes they give me great joy.  What I have come to realize when looking at old pictures of my family is that so many of them are already gone.  I would like to say they have all transitioned to glory and are with God, but I'm not actually sure they all are.  Some of us accept the Lord and some of us don't.  It is a personal choice for each of us to make.  In my immediate family half are already gone.  I have lost my parents and a brother.  I thank God for each of them and cherish the memories. I still have two sisters and a brother so I am not alone, but we are dwindling in numbers.
This also makes you realize that you should cherish and appreciate those in your life who have your back and will be there for you.  I have been fortunate enough to have a few really solid people who are good friends in my life.  As for my extended family, there are those who you can turn to for help, those who would help but can't and those who won't help even if they could.  This is probably everyone's family.  I choose to love each of them regardless, but keep a safe distance from those who keep their hearts closed to people. I really can't handle any unnecessary drama and you know family can bring it at times.  I strive everyday to be better.  Sometimes I fall short but most days I make a little progress.  I want to be all I can be and enjoy my life as much as I can before it's my turn to be called home. I do not fear this process because I know that I will join my mother and many others in the presence of Jesus Christ and our heavenly father.  I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior and live my life as a born again Christian so one day I can be in his presence.  It is a day that I will rejoice!! In the meantime while I am here I will continue to experience loss and I will continue to pray that God give me the strength to handle it.  I know that death is inevitable but until then I plan to keep living!!!!

Maturation

Maturation should be a continuous process in life.  When I am out and about, one of the things I do is people watch.  Living in the great city of New York, there are plenty of people to observe.  I enjoy meeting new people and learning new things.  It keeps us from becoming to rooted and stale in our behavior.  I am increasingly disappointed in the lack of maturity I see in people today.  We have become a society of instant gratification, lack of discipline, lack of consideration, have lost focus on what's really important and we celebrate stupidity.  What's worse is that those who know better are often reluctant to speak out so they don't.  If you don't agree with the masses, you could face serious repercussions, so I do understand the reluctance to speak out, but is that really an excuse?  Too many people in history have stood up to and faced hostility to defend what they know is right.

In this era of cell phones equipped with video recorders and social media we are really getting a first hand look at human behavior in the 21st century.  To often the picture is NOT PRETTY!!!!  We get to see out of control young people behave like 2 year old toddlers and want to fight about everything.  You know what I take that back, it's an insult to 2 year old toddlers!!! By the time you've reached your teenage years, the word, NO, should not be a strange unheard of word to you.  You should be familiar with it.  If you aren't then shame on your parents, because that's a pretty good indication, that they've always given you your way and whatever you wanted.  That's one way to set the groundwork for a really selfish adult who's totally self centered.

We have adults who want to still behave as if they're teenagers.  I don't know if there is anything sadder in this world than an adult who is obviously to old to behave like a 16 year old but does it anyway.  Trying to compete with young people is a clear sign you have yet to grow up.   If you have truly matured, then you understand that you don't need to compete with them and honestly you can't anyway.  You would know that if you were being honest with yourself.  Honesty isn't exactly at the top of the list of priorities for immature people.  They prefer to believe they're own bull.

Cell phones and social media are wonderful tools to reach and stay in touch with people.  Too many people use them as a means to personally attack, bother, harass, stalk and bully other people.  If you are on your cell phone having an intensely personal conversation without any regard to those around you, then you are one of the people I'm talking about.  Do us all a favor and either SHUT UP or find a more private space to retreat  to and have your conversation.  I really don't want to hear what you're talking about.  It's inconsiderate to the people around you and your personal information doesn't need to be discussed in front of strangers.
 As for the people who use social media as a tool to harass others, you just come off as pathetic angry bitter people.  If your life is a together as you would have us believe then, you shouldn't have time to be on social media attacking people. Mature people don't go on social media to settle their difference with others.

For the men who try to pick up women on social media, you're all LOSERS!!!!! Yes I said it.  For most women, it's a serious turn-off and a sign that you might be DERANGED!!!!  The world is full of people.  We're all surrounded everyday by people, so you should have no problem meeting people and talking directly to them.  It's how we sum each other up.  It is an invaluable tool when determining a person's character.  The fact that you stalk strange women on social media speaks volumes about you and it's not a good thing!  Grown mature men don't need Facebook to get women!!!!!!! Seasoned men have charm, intellect, sophistication and a decent conversation to interest the opposite sex.  They don't post, inbox, email, or text inappropriate pictures!!!! FYI if you send me an  inappropriate photo I will use it to embarrass you.  Everyone you know including, your mother, father, siblings, boss, pastor, children and anyone else I can think of will get a copy of that picture.  So think twice before sending one to me!!!!

If you're hired to do a job, then do it.  Don't sit there with an attitude because you don't really want to be there.  Go and be where you really want to be, doing what you really want to do.  In the meantime, if you take the job, then do the job.  Don't give me attitude.  I don't care if you're unhappy.  In life sometimes we do things that have nothing to do with our happiness to survive.  It's called GROWING UP!!! More people should try it.  It is only when you've reached a point of total honesty about who and what you are can you CONTINUE  the process to evolve into the person you were meant to be.  IMMATURITY INTERRUPTS this process.  Maturing is about constantly evolving into your higher self, the person God intended for you to be.  When you fail to grow up and insist on remaining in a permanent state of immaturity, you deny yourself the opportunity to be who you really should be.  You send a message to your children that it's okay to be stuck in a mental state of mediocre.  I don't care how successful you are in other things in life, you aren't even close to accomplishing anything until you grow into the self God made you to be!!!!!