Sometimes in life, we get taken through so many changes, we can't help but be transformed into something completely different than what we expected. When some of us think back to our childhood dreams and aspirations, we wonder what became of those dreams while some of us are living those dreams. What is the difference between people who achieve their dreams and people who settle and wonder what could have been? I suspect it is mediocrity. I'm not sure who said it, but I heard somewhere once, "THE ENEMY OF GREAT, IS GOOD." Is this what happens to people along the way, we settle for things being good enough? Yes it is!!! We feel like, I don't want to rock the boat so, I'll just be satisfied here in mediocrity.
The problem with that is that you never reach your full potential stuck in mediocrity. It's what is referred to as "sleepwalking" through life. Oprah has had many shows on this topic as well as others who try to inform and inspire. I think the best lesson of this comes from the bible. The story of the men who takes the talents God gives them and goes out in the world and multiply them. All but one does this, he buries his gift and tells God he didn't want to lose the gift he was given and God responds by scolding him for his laziness. God is upset that he didn't get a return on his investment. We are all creatures that have been blessed with natural gifts given to us by God. Some of us know what those gifts are and some of us don't. Whatever they are, we have been given them to USE THEM!!! God expects a return on his investment in us, so I suggest you get busy figuring out what that gift is and how to use it to it's full potential.
Many of us have been trained to believe that greatness is not for everyone, but the chosen few who are "special." WHAT A CROCK OF BULL!!! You were born for greatness!! It's why you're here. If you do whatever it is you do to the best of your ability, with pride and always striving to do better and improve, then you are what greatness is about. No one should be able to do what you do, the way you do.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Un-Friendship
Over the course of time I've been on this earth, I have been blessed enough to accumulate a couple of real friends. Friends who I love very much and know have my back no matter what. Then there are those who have looked out for me and who have helped me along the way. Yet still, there is a group who only surfaces on occassion but it is always good to see them, talk to them and catch up. I would not have made it this far through my life without any of them. They have all played a role in shaping the person I've become in one form or another. I am most grateful when a life lesson is learned from them with love. So the rest of this post is not about them.
Fake Friends - People who don't have your best interest at heart, who want to use you and pretend that they really care about you. Jealousy, envy and resentment are what they really are about. Get rid of them!!!! They are miserable people with an agenda to wreak havoc wherever they are.
Fairweather Friends - These are people who flake out on you when times get tough. They seemed like they were true friends but then something happened and you realized that they are not real friends and do not have your back. These are the kind of so called friends WHO DESERVE A LASHING!!!! At some point in life, you helped them, even if it was only with information, they accepted the help and pretended, "Girl I got your back no matter what." Before you GET RID OF THEM, get back anything of yours they may have immediately!!!! Unless of course it's a man they took from you, in which case leave him be. They deserve each other!!!
Office Buddies - These are people that befriend you at your office whose entire friendship is based on what they can get out of you. They either want your knowledge, contacts, clout, clients or your position. They come at you with that, "we need to stick together," bullshit, then proceed to use you for whatever they can get!!!! Hint, they will never get back to you in a timely manner with information you need, yet they will stalk you to get what they need!!!
Church Friends - We are all children of God. However, we don't all act like children of God. There is a tendency to judge, express unsolicited opinions and use guilt when all else fails. There are people who sit in church and pretend to be holier than thou and are the meanest, nastiest, ugliest, lying backstabbing schemers you've ever met. BEWARE, THEIR BARK IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THEIR BITE!!!! You've been warned!!!
Friends by Default - These are friends you end up with by default. Maybe they are spouses of business partners or your mate's business partners, your child's best friends parents, your best friend's friend, in-laws, etc. Sometimes in a situation where a friendship doesn't really exist, one is being encouraged. We know it's not what we want but give it a try anyway, then wish we had listened to our instincts. You feel like you're being forced to be someone's friend. Do yourself and them a favor and END IT!!! It's not going to work out, you know why, because it's being forced. Anyone who would try to build a friendship with you based on a forced relationship is bound to be trouble waiting to happen!!!!
And last but not least Needy Friends - These people have drama for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and dessert. It's always something. You have to give them your undivided attention anytime they are around because they will not allow you to do anything else, even if you try. They always need to be the center of attention!!! If you turn your attention away for just a moment, all hell breaks loose because they require constant ADULT SUPERVISION!!!!!! If you choose to let these people remain in your life, and I don't know why you would, NEVER, EVER, EVER, travel with them. You will be MISERABLE!!!! Catergories that are included in the NEEDY section, DRAMA QUEEN, CONSTANT COMPLAINER, ALWAYS BROKE, LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND INSECURE, RAGING MANIAC BITCH AND CONSTANT CONTRADICTOR WHO ARGUES ALL THE TIME ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!!(Warning contradictor thinks she's actually being intelligent and debating as if she's running for president)
Fake Friends - People who don't have your best interest at heart, who want to use you and pretend that they really care about you. Jealousy, envy and resentment are what they really are about. Get rid of them!!!! They are miserable people with an agenda to wreak havoc wherever they are.
Fairweather Friends - These are people who flake out on you when times get tough. They seemed like they were true friends but then something happened and you realized that they are not real friends and do not have your back. These are the kind of so called friends WHO DESERVE A LASHING!!!! At some point in life, you helped them, even if it was only with information, they accepted the help and pretended, "Girl I got your back no matter what." Before you GET RID OF THEM, get back anything of yours they may have immediately!!!! Unless of course it's a man they took from you, in which case leave him be. They deserve each other!!!
Office Buddies - These are people that befriend you at your office whose entire friendship is based on what they can get out of you. They either want your knowledge, contacts, clout, clients or your position. They come at you with that, "we need to stick together," bullshit, then proceed to use you for whatever they can get!!!! Hint, they will never get back to you in a timely manner with information you need, yet they will stalk you to get what they need!!!
Church Friends - We are all children of God. However, we don't all act like children of God. There is a tendency to judge, express unsolicited opinions and use guilt when all else fails. There are people who sit in church and pretend to be holier than thou and are the meanest, nastiest, ugliest, lying backstabbing schemers you've ever met. BEWARE, THEIR BARK IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THEIR BITE!!!! You've been warned!!!
Friends by Default - These are friends you end up with by default. Maybe they are spouses of business partners or your mate's business partners, your child's best friends parents, your best friend's friend, in-laws, etc. Sometimes in a situation where a friendship doesn't really exist, one is being encouraged. We know it's not what we want but give it a try anyway, then wish we had listened to our instincts. You feel like you're being forced to be someone's friend. Do yourself and them a favor and END IT!!! It's not going to work out, you know why, because it's being forced. Anyone who would try to build a friendship with you based on a forced relationship is bound to be trouble waiting to happen!!!!
And last but not least Needy Friends - These people have drama for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and dessert. It's always something. You have to give them your undivided attention anytime they are around because they will not allow you to do anything else, even if you try. They always need to be the center of attention!!! If you turn your attention away for just a moment, all hell breaks loose because they require constant ADULT SUPERVISION!!!!!! If you choose to let these people remain in your life, and I don't know why you would, NEVER, EVER, EVER, travel with them. You will be MISERABLE!!!! Catergories that are included in the NEEDY section, DRAMA QUEEN, CONSTANT COMPLAINER, ALWAYS BROKE, LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND INSECURE, RAGING MANIAC BITCH AND CONSTANT CONTRADICTOR WHO ARGUES ALL THE TIME ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!!(Warning contradictor thinks she's actually being intelligent and debating as if she's running for president)
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Unreal Expectations of Men
Some time ago I talked about the women, well now it's the men's turn. Should you expect of someone what you yourself cannot obtain? You can, but disappointment will follow. Why? Well I'll tell you why. Remember that old saying "BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER" Well it's true. Let me break it down for you.
If you are a HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT, stop thinking that you are the CATCH OF THE CENTURY!!!!, You are a LOSER,who will always be a LOSER until you decide not to be a LOSER anymore and get your life together!! Smart women will not waste their time with you!!!
If you are a believer in the RICK ROSS SYNDROME, which thinks fat sloppy men are sexy, let me let you in on a secret, TOTALLY NOT TRUE!!!! Most women are not slaving at the gym, yoga class, pilates class and spinning class to be on the arm of your FAT SLOPPY ASS!!!! (The exception here is if you're rich, of course, which most of you are not!!!!)
If you are always BROKE, stop expecting some SUGAR MOMMA to come along and save you. You want to live large like a baller, but have nothing to contribute to the financial bottom line of a baller lifestyle. Men who live off of women are called GIGOLO'S!!! If you don't mind an older woman who will control every aspect of your life while handing you her money, then maybe this lifestyle choice is for you!!! Just don't expect to be RESPECTED FOR IT!!!!
UNATTRACTIVE, then stop believing you are entitled to be with a BEYONCE, HALLE or ANGELINA JOLIE, lookalike. You must be kidding!!! If you also belong in any of the above categories and you're ugly, FORGET IT!!!! JUST BE HAPPY YOU CAN PULL ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!
MULTIPLE BABY MOMMA'S, STOP dropping babies all over town and thinking that you're the man!!!! YOU'RE NOT!!!! A smart woman with money is not going to get with you, because she knows, you can't afford anything. All your money goes to child support!!! She definitely will not marry you and have her money pay your child support. No smart woman wants to deal with all the DRAMA from your BABY MOMMA'S!!!!! It's also clear that you have a history of not protecting yourself during sex or you wouldn't have babies everywhere!!!!!
COLOGNE IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A SHOWER!!!! We can smell the funk that's reeking from you. Any woman who goes to the trouble of keeping herself looking good and exhibits excellent grooming habits, is not going to want to be near or with your NASTY, FUNKY, DIRTY ASS!!!!!
SELFISHNESS is UNATTRACTIVE!!!! Don't expect someone to cater to you and make everything about you, revolving around you. YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!! There are so many other productive things smart women will be doing with their time besides allowing you to dictate their lives!!!!
MESSY, UNKEMPT SLOBS, should not think that any woman has been waiting all her life to meet you. You actually came out of your house in wrinkled, dirty, stained, smelly, nasty clothes and wonder why she doesn't want you to sit next to her or talk to her!!!! PLEASE, SHE SCARED THOSE DAMN BUGS CRAWLING ON YOU MIGHT BITE HER!!!!!!!
MY PERSONAL FAVORITE, LIVING AT HOME WITH YOUR MAMA!!!! If you are over 24 years of age and you still live at home with your parents, it's time for you to GROW UP AND GET OUT!!!!! Why are you still living in the basement, spare room, attic or whatever. If you have to live with 5 roommates, then that's what you have to do. A grown man does not belong at home with his parents unless he's taking care of them!!!!!!!
Lastly but not leastly, IF YOU ARE ABUSIVE AND MEAN, YOU DESERVE ALL THE MISERY YOU DISH OUT BACK ON YOU TENFOLD, NOT TO MENTION A GOOD OLD FASHIONED BEATDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ladies if I missed anything, hit it up in the comments section!!!
If you are a HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT, stop thinking that you are the CATCH OF THE CENTURY!!!!, You are a LOSER,who will always be a LOSER until you decide not to be a LOSER anymore and get your life together!! Smart women will not waste their time with you!!!
If you are a believer in the RICK ROSS SYNDROME, which thinks fat sloppy men are sexy, let me let you in on a secret, TOTALLY NOT TRUE!!!! Most women are not slaving at the gym, yoga class, pilates class and spinning class to be on the arm of your FAT SLOPPY ASS!!!! (The exception here is if you're rich, of course, which most of you are not!!!!)
If you are always BROKE, stop expecting some SUGAR MOMMA to come along and save you. You want to live large like a baller, but have nothing to contribute to the financial bottom line of a baller lifestyle. Men who live off of women are called GIGOLO'S!!! If you don't mind an older woman who will control every aspect of your life while handing you her money, then maybe this lifestyle choice is for you!!! Just don't expect to be RESPECTED FOR IT!!!!
UNATTRACTIVE, then stop believing you are entitled to be with a BEYONCE, HALLE or ANGELINA JOLIE, lookalike. You must be kidding!!! If you also belong in any of the above categories and you're ugly, FORGET IT!!!! JUST BE HAPPY YOU CAN PULL ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!
MULTIPLE BABY MOMMA'S, STOP dropping babies all over town and thinking that you're the man!!!! YOU'RE NOT!!!! A smart woman with money is not going to get with you, because she knows, you can't afford anything. All your money goes to child support!!! She definitely will not marry you and have her money pay your child support. No smart woman wants to deal with all the DRAMA from your BABY MOMMA'S!!!!! It's also clear that you have a history of not protecting yourself during sex or you wouldn't have babies everywhere!!!!!
COLOGNE IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A SHOWER!!!! We can smell the funk that's reeking from you. Any woman who goes to the trouble of keeping herself looking good and exhibits excellent grooming habits, is not going to want to be near or with your NASTY, FUNKY, DIRTY ASS!!!!!
SELFISHNESS is UNATTRACTIVE!!!! Don't expect someone to cater to you and make everything about you, revolving around you. YOU ARE NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!! There are so many other productive things smart women will be doing with their time besides allowing you to dictate their lives!!!!
MESSY, UNKEMPT SLOBS, should not think that any woman has been waiting all her life to meet you. You actually came out of your house in wrinkled, dirty, stained, smelly, nasty clothes and wonder why she doesn't want you to sit next to her or talk to her!!!! PLEASE, SHE SCARED THOSE DAMN BUGS CRAWLING ON YOU MIGHT BITE HER!!!!!!!
MY PERSONAL FAVORITE, LIVING AT HOME WITH YOUR MAMA!!!! If you are over 24 years of age and you still live at home with your parents, it's time for you to GROW UP AND GET OUT!!!!! Why are you still living in the basement, spare room, attic or whatever. If you have to live with 5 roommates, then that's what you have to do. A grown man does not belong at home with his parents unless he's taking care of them!!!!!!!
Lastly but not leastly, IF YOU ARE ABUSIVE AND MEAN, YOU DESERVE ALL THE MISERY YOU DISH OUT BACK ON YOU TENFOLD, NOT TO MENTION A GOOD OLD FASHIONED BEATDOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ladies if I missed anything, hit it up in the comments section!!!
Monday, July 9, 2012
Unreal Expectations Women Have
Once again I find myself blogging about this topic. It's so much delusion out there, I have to keep repeating certain things until you folks GET IT!!!!! Should you expect of someone what you yourself cannot obtain? You can, but disappointment will follow. Why? Well I'll tell you why. Remember that old saying "BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER" Well it's true. Let me break it down for you.
For those of you who are OUT OF SHAPE, stop looking for MR. UNIVERSE. He's a fitness buff. He will not want your out of shape behind. He will just make you look and feel lazy. He will also assault your self esteem by making you always feel like a fat loser.
UNEDUCATED, stop looking for the PARTNER at the law firm. He's smart enough not to hook up with you for anything other than a booty call. Sorry, but that's the way it is.
FINANCIALLY CHALLENGED, stop looking for a MILLIONAIRE. He will not share his fortune with you and he will send you back to the projects when he's done with you. (Keep all the gifts in a safe deposit box so when he kicks you to the curb, he can't take them back.)
HOMELY LOOKING, stop looking for IDRIS ELBA or DENZEL WASHINGTON. Yes I know sometimes you see the ugliest woman with a hot man. She is usually rich or has something he needs. You have neither!!! Sorry but true!!
MULTIPLE BABY DADDIES stop looking for a husband, NO ONE will marry you. Hate to tell you, but after everyone has had a child with you, any man worth a damn will not want to be bothered with Pookie, Ray-Ray, Boquita, Shaquita and LaQuinisha's daddy!!!!!
SEXUALLY PROMISCUOUS, same as above. No man worthwhile will marry you when you have a reputation for giving it all away. I know it's unfair, men can be as whoish as they want, but women get called names.
NOT VERY SMART, don't look for a GENIUS, you can't handle him, he'll only make you feel bad and humiliate you if you piss him off.
SLOPPY, MESSY & UNKEMPT, stop expecting shopping sprees and designer items. Spending money on someone who is a pig is not likely to happen
SELFISH, stop looking for a GIVING man. A smart man will recognize pretty early on your selfishness and drop you like a bad habit, especially if you're no prize to begin with!!!!
MEAN, do us all a favor and leave the nice guys alone and stop effing them up, leaving the rest of us to pick up the pieces of your mess.
A NASTY ATTITUDE, stop looking for someone period. NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE wants to be around your ASS!!!!!!!!!!
For those of you who are OUT OF SHAPE, stop looking for MR. UNIVERSE. He's a fitness buff. He will not want your out of shape behind. He will just make you look and feel lazy. He will also assault your self esteem by making you always feel like a fat loser.
UNEDUCATED, stop looking for the PARTNER at the law firm. He's smart enough not to hook up with you for anything other than a booty call. Sorry, but that's the way it is.
FINANCIALLY CHALLENGED, stop looking for a MILLIONAIRE. He will not share his fortune with you and he will send you back to the projects when he's done with you. (Keep all the gifts in a safe deposit box so when he kicks you to the curb, he can't take them back.)
HOMELY LOOKING, stop looking for IDRIS ELBA or DENZEL WASHINGTON. Yes I know sometimes you see the ugliest woman with a hot man. She is usually rich or has something he needs. You have neither!!! Sorry but true!!
MULTIPLE BABY DADDIES stop looking for a husband, NO ONE will marry you. Hate to tell you, but after everyone has had a child with you, any man worth a damn will not want to be bothered with Pookie, Ray-Ray, Boquita, Shaquita and LaQuinisha's daddy!!!!!
SEXUALLY PROMISCUOUS, same as above. No man worthwhile will marry you when you have a reputation for giving it all away. I know it's unfair, men can be as whoish as they want, but women get called names.
NOT VERY SMART, don't look for a GENIUS, you can't handle him, he'll only make you feel bad and humiliate you if you piss him off.
SLOPPY, MESSY & UNKEMPT, stop expecting shopping sprees and designer items. Spending money on someone who is a pig is not likely to happen
SELFISH, stop looking for a GIVING man. A smart man will recognize pretty early on your selfishness and drop you like a bad habit, especially if you're no prize to begin with!!!!
MEAN, do us all a favor and leave the nice guys alone and stop effing them up, leaving the rest of us to pick up the pieces of your mess.
A NASTY ATTITUDE, stop looking for someone period. NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE wants to be around your ASS!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, June 11, 2012
Free Speech
Let's talk about the issues surrounding free speech in our society. One of them is we live in a time where everyone has become so politically correct, that many people don't say what they really think or feel anymore. No one wants to be accused of speaking out of term or saying something they'll regret. The other is on the rare occasion people do speak up or out, they are attacked, vilified and accused of all kinds of things. To illustrate the point, I read alot of comment blogs on stories of the day. The things that are posted on these blogs range from hysterically funny, to bullying to thoughtful insights.
It seems on the one hand society doesn't want to ruffle anyone's feathers, so we tolerate and allow things that just a short time ago was unacceptable or at least considered shady. Things such as having affairs with people's spouses, disrespectful children, defrauding people and a host of other things. Now we don't want to appear uncool or stuck in the stone ages so we go along to get along. Don't want to piss anyone off during our journey here. You don't have an affair with someones husband and then keep the dress and hold a news conference. What is that? Well it seems, it's the path to fame. We allow these people to not only have careers, but flourish and become reality TV stars. If your kid is rude and disrespectful, there's a host of TV shows, he/she can audition for and become well paid and famous for being a rude, obnoxious bully. If you like to swindle and cheat people out of their money, clients, belongings or whatever else, there's a show out there you can audition for as well. You can even become a writer at a well known newspaper or magazine. How about that for punishment and isolation so you can learn the error of your ways!!!! When we as a society don't speak out against this type of behavior it grows unchecked and takes on a life of its own. That's why we have torrid reality TV shows. An unchecked smorgasbord of emotionally, mentally, and intellectually stunted characters ruling our airwaves!!!!!
If you read some of the blogs, people can really make some disgraceful comments behind the safety of anonymity. Racism, sexism, classcism, elitism and all kind of other isms come out when you think you're anonymously responding. Interesting how expressively mean people can be when they think no one will ever know who they are. If you happen to speak out about a beloved celebrity, their fans will call you all kinds of names, harass you on Twitter, Facebook and anything else they can find you on. It's as if you're not entitled to an opinion if it isn't in line with theirs. The really funny part is these people don't need anyone defending them, they don't give a RAT'S ASS what you or I think. If they did, they wouldn't do most of the things they do. I for one don't have time to go around defending famous people who don't even know I exist.
Attacking the political representatives we put into office is another viciously practiced pastime in our country. Even if I didn't vote for the person and don't agree with their policies, I respect the fact that they were elected to office by a majority of constituents who want to see them there. I use the power of my vote to send a very clear message about who I want in office. I consider that more effective than verbally attacking someone.
I'm sick of people letting stupid statements out of their mouth and then wondering, "Was it something I said?" Yes it was!!!! This controversy going on about Gwyneth Paltrow and her free use of the N word is so ridiculously silly that I can't even imagine what the confusion is about. It is a word that should never cross her mouth or anyone else's for that matter ever again!!! It is disrespectful, meant to convey pain and should never ever be spoken by a white person period. If you let the word pass your lips for any reason, as far as I'm concerned, you are intentionally meaning to inflict pain and humiliation and all your silly black friends can run to your aid all they want to. It doesn't excuse your behavior. Free speech isn't really free, it comes at a price and that price seems to get steeper everyday!!!!!!
It seems on the one hand society doesn't want to ruffle anyone's feathers, so we tolerate and allow things that just a short time ago was unacceptable or at least considered shady. Things such as having affairs with people's spouses, disrespectful children, defrauding people and a host of other things. Now we don't want to appear uncool or stuck in the stone ages so we go along to get along. Don't want to piss anyone off during our journey here. You don't have an affair with someones husband and then keep the dress and hold a news conference. What is that? Well it seems, it's the path to fame. We allow these people to not only have careers, but flourish and become reality TV stars. If your kid is rude and disrespectful, there's a host of TV shows, he/she can audition for and become well paid and famous for being a rude, obnoxious bully. If you like to swindle and cheat people out of their money, clients, belongings or whatever else, there's a show out there you can audition for as well. You can even become a writer at a well known newspaper or magazine. How about that for punishment and isolation so you can learn the error of your ways!!!! When we as a society don't speak out against this type of behavior it grows unchecked and takes on a life of its own. That's why we have torrid reality TV shows. An unchecked smorgasbord of emotionally, mentally, and intellectually stunted characters ruling our airwaves!!!!!
If you read some of the blogs, people can really make some disgraceful comments behind the safety of anonymity. Racism, sexism, classcism, elitism and all kind of other isms come out when you think you're anonymously responding. Interesting how expressively mean people can be when they think no one will ever know who they are. If you happen to speak out about a beloved celebrity, their fans will call you all kinds of names, harass you on Twitter, Facebook and anything else they can find you on. It's as if you're not entitled to an opinion if it isn't in line with theirs. The really funny part is these people don't need anyone defending them, they don't give a RAT'S ASS what you or I think. If they did, they wouldn't do most of the things they do. I for one don't have time to go around defending famous people who don't even know I exist.
Attacking the political representatives we put into office is another viciously practiced pastime in our country. Even if I didn't vote for the person and don't agree with their policies, I respect the fact that they were elected to office by a majority of constituents who want to see them there. I use the power of my vote to send a very clear message about who I want in office. I consider that more effective than verbally attacking someone.
I'm sick of people letting stupid statements out of their mouth and then wondering, "Was it something I said?" Yes it was!!!! This controversy going on about Gwyneth Paltrow and her free use of the N word is so ridiculously silly that I can't even imagine what the confusion is about. It is a word that should never cross her mouth or anyone else's for that matter ever again!!! It is disrespectful, meant to convey pain and should never ever be spoken by a white person period. If you let the word pass your lips for any reason, as far as I'm concerned, you are intentionally meaning to inflict pain and humiliation and all your silly black friends can run to your aid all they want to. It doesn't excuse your behavior. Free speech isn't really free, it comes at a price and that price seems to get steeper everyday!!!!!!
Monday, April 16, 2012
Trayvon Martin
The case of Trayvon Martin has been a deeply troubling and terribly sad event. My condolences go out to his family, friends and loved ones. The loss of this young man has understandably caused a tremendous amount of pain for the people who loved and knew him. The interesting thing is that it has also caused a tremendous amount of pain for people who never knew him or heard of him until his unfortunate killing. Why is that? I can only speculate for the public at large, but I know why I felt a tremendous amount of sadness and pain over this young man's killing. It once again showed us people of color how unimportant our lives are to some members of our society. God saw fit to create us, put us here and allows all of us to continue to be here. There has always been a faction of our society that felt they had the right to end our lives as they saw fit. It apparently is an attitude that has not been totally eradicated to date. Here we are in 2012 and someone really believed they had the right to end his God given life!!! To decide that someone doesn't belong here, is to decide that God made a mistake allowing that life to exist.
No one can say with exact certaintly what happened between the two that night that lead to Trayvon's death. However, based on what we do know, it seems, Mr. Zimmerman decided Trayvon was out of place, didn't belong and had to be confronted. The problem with each of those things is that a lot of prejudging took place. He was not out of place and he did belong. He was with one of his parents which he had every right to be. He was confronted. We've all heard the 911 tape of the operator informing Mr. Zimmerman not to follow this child any longer. Yes Trayvon was a child!!! Mr. Zimmerman made a grown up decision to disregard what he was told and continued to follow him anyway. He claims that Trayvon doubled back and confronted him. The only people stupid enough to believe this bull were the local police. Trayvon was on the phone with his girlfriend and expressed his fear that he was being followed. People who are being followed, especially at night don't double back and confront the person (unless you're Rambo or something). Most of us hightail it out of there and are desperately trying to get away from the person. So I don't believe that a scared teenage boy doubled back and confronted a man he was obviously afraid of. Apparently the special prosecutor didn't believe it either.
The second most disturbing part of this story besides the tragic loss of life is the lack of any real police work done to find out what really happened. It appears that Mr. Zimmerman declared that he was defending himself and his word was just accepted on face value. What kind of police department does not thoroughly investigate the shooting of an unarmed teenager who was only carrying Skittles and an iced tea? A person tells you there were attacked and had to shoot in fear of their life and that's it? No investigation? You don't bother to take statements from neighbors who heard the screams of a child asking for help! You don't talk to the witness who was on the phone with the victim at the time he was shot! You don't test for drugs and alcohol of the shooter! You don't do forensics tests on the perpertrator! I mean this sounds like an episode of Keystone Cops. It appears to those of us on the outside looking in that the Sanford Police Department at the least did a poor job of investigating this crime and at worst actively engaged in covering it up. Either way, they were not up to the task of operating with impunity and practicing law enforcement without prejudice!! When all is said and done and the smoke clears, Mr. Zimmerman should be tried, convicted and given a lengthy sentence for deciding to execute a child. The Police Chief should be fired and never allowed to practice law enforcement again anywhere in the world. The County Executive should be fired and sent packing as well for allowing this situation to fester even after the truth started to come out. He still didn't want to admit his police chief wasn't up to the job. The citizens of this town should remember that these laws were created and serve no purpose but to harm them. Maybe it's time to flex their political clout and get these laws changed. I bet if the people these laws were made to target all armed themselves and started shooting people down in the street based on "Stand Your Ground" , that damn law would be repelled so fast, your head would spin!!!!! REST IN PEACE TRAYVON!!! GOD'S GOT YOU KNOW!!!!!
No one can say with exact certaintly what happened between the two that night that lead to Trayvon's death. However, based on what we do know, it seems, Mr. Zimmerman decided Trayvon was out of place, didn't belong and had to be confronted. The problem with each of those things is that a lot of prejudging took place. He was not out of place and he did belong. He was with one of his parents which he had every right to be. He was confronted. We've all heard the 911 tape of the operator informing Mr. Zimmerman not to follow this child any longer. Yes Trayvon was a child!!! Mr. Zimmerman made a grown up decision to disregard what he was told and continued to follow him anyway. He claims that Trayvon doubled back and confronted him. The only people stupid enough to believe this bull were the local police. Trayvon was on the phone with his girlfriend and expressed his fear that he was being followed. People who are being followed, especially at night don't double back and confront the person (unless you're Rambo or something). Most of us hightail it out of there and are desperately trying to get away from the person. So I don't believe that a scared teenage boy doubled back and confronted a man he was obviously afraid of. Apparently the special prosecutor didn't believe it either.
The second most disturbing part of this story besides the tragic loss of life is the lack of any real police work done to find out what really happened. It appears that Mr. Zimmerman declared that he was defending himself and his word was just accepted on face value. What kind of police department does not thoroughly investigate the shooting of an unarmed teenager who was only carrying Skittles and an iced tea? A person tells you there were attacked and had to shoot in fear of their life and that's it? No investigation? You don't bother to take statements from neighbors who heard the screams of a child asking for help! You don't talk to the witness who was on the phone with the victim at the time he was shot! You don't test for drugs and alcohol of the shooter! You don't do forensics tests on the perpertrator! I mean this sounds like an episode of Keystone Cops. It appears to those of us on the outside looking in that the Sanford Police Department at the least did a poor job of investigating this crime and at worst actively engaged in covering it up. Either way, they were not up to the task of operating with impunity and practicing law enforcement without prejudice!! When all is said and done and the smoke clears, Mr. Zimmerman should be tried, convicted and given a lengthy sentence for deciding to execute a child. The Police Chief should be fired and never allowed to practice law enforcement again anywhere in the world. The County Executive should be fired and sent packing as well for allowing this situation to fester even after the truth started to come out. He still didn't want to admit his police chief wasn't up to the job. The citizens of this town should remember that these laws were created and serve no purpose but to harm them. Maybe it's time to flex their political clout and get these laws changed. I bet if the people these laws were made to target all armed themselves and started shooting people down in the street based on "Stand Your Ground" , that damn law would be repelled so fast, your head would spin!!!!! REST IN PEACE TRAYVON!!! GOD'S GOT YOU KNOW!!!!!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
The Value of Intelligence
For the handful of you that follow my blog, you know that I am fed up with stupidity, rudeness and laziness. Perhaps, I should take another approach and state why it is so important to be intelligent about something. There are several types of intelligence. Each requires some degree of mastering something. It allows you as well as others to know that you are a person capable of thinking.
When you present yourself as a person of limited intelligence what you are really saying is I am incapable of thinking and functioning as an adult. If you often wonder why people treat you or speak to your like a child, you probably act like one. When you're a limited thinker, you repeat patterns of behavior. You make bad decisions. You keep getting the same results, but somehow expect things to get better without putting forth the effort to make it better. You want to be promoted but won't expand your education. You want a new job or career but aren't interested in learning a new skill. You want to make more money but don't want any additional responsibility. You feel your seniority should be enough to take you through the ranks. You certainly don't have to be a bookworm, straight A student to be intelligent. You can get by without academic intelligence, millions of people do everyday. The ones who experience success anyway are likely displaying a different type of intelligence. If you want to be treated differently, then act differently.
If the way you choose to express yourself is to curse people out and threaten them, you have issues with effective communication. Your response to being confronted or challenged is to act like a bully and intimidate others. You strike out at people when you're frustrated, which is pretty regularly. You walk around in a state of rage and the least little thing sets you off. You are unhappy with your choices but refuse to accept responsibility for them because every failure in your life is not your fault. You are unable to relate and understand. You cannot engage people in any meaningful way. You lack emotional intelligence. Most experts agree that emotional intelligence is actually more important in life than IQ or academic intelligence. Emotionally intelligent people are able to engage others in a positive manner. You are not likely to experience the degree of success you could in your life without being emotional intelligent. If you want people to smile when they see you and be happy in your presence, then behave like it.
What do you do to improve yourself? Lots of things, however what is best for you is for you to decide. These are tough times so there isn't a ton of money around to spend on self improvement so start with inexpensive ways to gain knowledge. The library is full of books chocked full of information that can change lives and its FREE!!! The library also holds many free events that can broaden your horizons or your child's horizons. Many colleges and universities are in partnership with the communities they operate in and offer some type of free or low cost skill based programs on their campus. Churches, non-profit organizations, schools and many corporations offer free or low cost services to the community, It is a good way to get expert advice for free. These experts usually charge clients large sums of money for their advice. Instead of spending your time surfing the web or on your Facebook page, you can search for free or low cost services in your community. Believe me, there are people who will help you, especially if they see you putting forth an effort. No one becomes successful alone!!! For a insightful look at how success doesn't just happen but requires a helping hand read "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell.
If you can afford it, get yourself a good coach who will hold you accountable for your behavior and motivate you to aspire to a higher level. Join an organization or club, go to a seminar or attend a convention on a topic of interest. Shake things up and get out of your comfort zone. You will grow as a person.
The best advice I can give you is to PRAY!!! Yes pray. I realize that not everyone is into praying and asking God for help, but I am. I am a christian and I believe that there is no greater source of power, redemption, forgiveness, love and rebirth. The power of prayer is the biggest life changer there is. Sit still and have a conversation with God and seek his help to heal your life. He's waiting to hear from you!!!!!!!!!!!
When you present yourself as a person of limited intelligence what you are really saying is I am incapable of thinking and functioning as an adult. If you often wonder why people treat you or speak to your like a child, you probably act like one. When you're a limited thinker, you repeat patterns of behavior. You make bad decisions. You keep getting the same results, but somehow expect things to get better without putting forth the effort to make it better. You want to be promoted but won't expand your education. You want a new job or career but aren't interested in learning a new skill. You want to make more money but don't want any additional responsibility. You feel your seniority should be enough to take you through the ranks. You certainly don't have to be a bookworm, straight A student to be intelligent. You can get by without academic intelligence, millions of people do everyday. The ones who experience success anyway are likely displaying a different type of intelligence. If you want to be treated differently, then act differently.
If the way you choose to express yourself is to curse people out and threaten them, you have issues with effective communication. Your response to being confronted or challenged is to act like a bully and intimidate others. You strike out at people when you're frustrated, which is pretty regularly. You walk around in a state of rage and the least little thing sets you off. You are unhappy with your choices but refuse to accept responsibility for them because every failure in your life is not your fault. You are unable to relate and understand. You cannot engage people in any meaningful way. You lack emotional intelligence. Most experts agree that emotional intelligence is actually more important in life than IQ or academic intelligence. Emotionally intelligent people are able to engage others in a positive manner. You are not likely to experience the degree of success you could in your life without being emotional intelligent. If you want people to smile when they see you and be happy in your presence, then behave like it.
What do you do to improve yourself? Lots of things, however what is best for you is for you to decide. These are tough times so there isn't a ton of money around to spend on self improvement so start with inexpensive ways to gain knowledge. The library is full of books chocked full of information that can change lives and its FREE!!! The library also holds many free events that can broaden your horizons or your child's horizons. Many colleges and universities are in partnership with the communities they operate in and offer some type of free or low cost skill based programs on their campus. Churches, non-profit organizations, schools and many corporations offer free or low cost services to the community, It is a good way to get expert advice for free. These experts usually charge clients large sums of money for their advice. Instead of spending your time surfing the web or on your Facebook page, you can search for free or low cost services in your community. Believe me, there are people who will help you, especially if they see you putting forth an effort. No one becomes successful alone!!! For a insightful look at how success doesn't just happen but requires a helping hand read "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell.
If you can afford it, get yourself a good coach who will hold you accountable for your behavior and motivate you to aspire to a higher level. Join an organization or club, go to a seminar or attend a convention on a topic of interest. Shake things up and get out of your comfort zone. You will grow as a person.
The best advice I can give you is to PRAY!!! Yes pray. I realize that not everyone is into praying and asking God for help, but I am. I am a christian and I believe that there is no greater source of power, redemption, forgiveness, love and rebirth. The power of prayer is the biggest life changer there is. Sit still and have a conversation with God and seek his help to heal your life. He's waiting to hear from you!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Starting Over
Happy New Year!!!! The new year always signals a new beginning. People make resolutions they won't keep, promise to make lifestyle changes they won't and begin a new hobby they won't stick to. I'm going to lose weight, eat better, exercise, volunteer, be nicer, be more available, open myself up to new experiences, do things differently are all some of the things that are uttered by folks every year with respect to the changes we're going to make. Well this blog is not about that. This blog is about people who really had or have no choice but to start over!! Sometimes in life, we find ourselves in the midst of circumstances that force us to re-evaluate our lives and assess what we must do to survive. There is a multitude of reasons why this happens, including death, divorce, loss of job, income or support, just to name a few. Sometimes these reasons are our own fault. Due to decisions and choices we've made, we find ourselves in a mess!!! I wanted to write this blog to encourage all the people who find themselves in this situation to hang in there, keep your head up, don't look back and keep moving forward!!!!!
I am not going to tell you that things are going to be easy, but I am going to say that it will be worth it. The changes that we need to make sometimes are forced upon us due to our circumstances. We probably needed to make these changes all along but didn't, wouldn't or couldn't. Now we have no choice but to re-assess, re-evaluate and re-define who we are, what we want, what we need and how we can get there. There is nothing so scary as having to start over and begin again, especially if you're of a certain age. It is also nothing so rewarding, if you get the lesson and carry it with you into your future. YES you do have a future, a very bright and promising future if you are willing to embrace the changes coming and make the best of them. If you are willing to let God guide you and lead you to his plan for your life, you will never be happier.
I am not going to tell you that things are going to be easy, but I am going to say that it will be worth it. The changes that we need to make sometimes are forced upon us due to our circumstances. We probably needed to make these changes all along but didn't, wouldn't or couldn't. Now we have no choice but to re-assess, re-evaluate and re-define who we are, what we want, what we need and how we can get there. There is nothing so scary as having to start over and begin again, especially if you're of a certain age. It is also nothing so rewarding, if you get the lesson and carry it with you into your future. YES you do have a future, a very bright and promising future if you are willing to embrace the changes coming and make the best of them. If you are willing to let God guide you and lead you to his plan for your life, you will never be happier.
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