When you are born, surely if you live long enough, you will experience disappointment in life. Someone you work with, a friend, family member or other loved one will disappoint you. Marriages, friendships, relationships, circumstances, expectations, beliefs and careers are all things that sometimes breaks our hearts and brings us into the realm of disappointment and even disillusionment. The true test of our character will be tested by these disappointments and separate the immature from the mature. We learn some of our best lessons if we are willing to from states of disappointment. How we decide to proceed once we have been disappointed by someone will delegate how quickly we recover from that disappointment. I have experienced some epic disappointments in my life and each time, I was faced with the decision of how I was going to handle it. In my youth, the responses I chose were not always the best way to respond. Thankfully, I have grown tremendously since then and have learned to handle things in a much more mature manner.
Frustration, embarrassment, anger, shame, disbelief, resentment, fear and regret are all emotions you may experience when you are disappointed about something. All are normal responses but not necessarily the right reaction to display when expressing yourself after being disappointed. The most logical thing to do is take a deep breath, step back and retreat. Most times it is best to just step away and clear your mind so you are able to think rationally. It is hard to think rationally when you're in the throws of any of the above mentioned emotions. If a solution is needed, to find the solution and there always is one, you must remain calm and be able to use your head. Feeling disappointed can affect your judgment and your mood for some time if you focus on the situation. It is easier to focus on the problem sometimes than to find a resolution. I am about finding resolutions and not wallowing in the problem. Just because you can't solve the issue immediately does not mean you need to continue to focus all your energy on the problem. Once we have time to get past things and move on, we realize we have survived it and it's done. When we look back on our lives, we often feel a sense of amazement that we let it take us off track in the first place Sometimes we have to stumble a little to find our way.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Choices
This is a topic that I am very passionate about because it's how our lives take shape, through our choices. Take care with the choices you make, for they shall follow you all your life. This is the lesson every human being should get as soon as possible. The younger you are when you realize this, the better prepared you can get yourself to deal with life and make the best possible choices you can make. Many people live a lifetime and do not get the lesson. We are creatures of habits and no matter how many times we see that something is just not working, we will make that same choice over and over again and wonder why we keep getting the same results!!!!
Over the course of my life, I have met some really interesting people. The people that have dumbfounded me the most are the ones who do REALLY DUMB THINGS and wonder why their lives are a mess!!!! Some of us live our lives in a blind spot and think that we are clever. Most people sleepwalk through life, keep their heads down and try to just make it the best they can everyday. Well to that I say, WAKE UP!!!! You can do more than sleepwalk through life, you can succeed and live a full life. A life of vitality, hope aspirations and dreams. This life will stem from the choices you make. We tell ourselves, it's too late when we realize we have made bad choices that have resulted in a lot of wasted time doing the wrong things. I say as long as you're alive and breathing, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!!!! This is something you must believe for yourself and own!!!
Your life of fulfillment begins with making a choice to have one, then taking action to create this life. I have made so many mistakes in my life trying to find the path that will work for me. I will continue to tread my way until such is the day that God calls me home. Until then, the world is here for my exploration and I plan to explore it until I find the way for me. One of the most important things you can do is choose to remove all negative and needy people from your life. Make the decision that they are not necessary on your journey, wish them well and move on!!!! They will drain and suck all the life out of you if you don't cut off their access to you. It's hard sometimes because these people could be family and loved ones, but in the end what really matters is that you have the right to be at peace and pursue your dreams. People who stay stuck in bad choices want company. They want to spread and share the misery and infect those who aren't with their misery.
Get over all the dumb stuff you did in your youth. IT'S OVER, MOVE ON!!!! Get over all the stuff you should have done in your youth, but didn't and do what you can now. Return to school, renew a passion, take a vacation, open a business, have children, get married, in other words whatever it is you think you missed out on that would be a goal for you today, go after it!!! You will discover along the way all the things you will truly need to know about yourself to succeed or not. At least you can change direction and do what will work for you. Let go of all your regrets, sorrow, pain and hurt from the past choices you made. Leave revenge, envy, jealousy, resentment and guilt in the past along with your mistakes and bad choices. CHOOSE TO MOVE FORWARD WITHOUT THEM!!!!!!!!
Over the course of my life, I have met some really interesting people. The people that have dumbfounded me the most are the ones who do REALLY DUMB THINGS and wonder why their lives are a mess!!!! Some of us live our lives in a blind spot and think that we are clever. Most people sleepwalk through life, keep their heads down and try to just make it the best they can everyday. Well to that I say, WAKE UP!!!! You can do more than sleepwalk through life, you can succeed and live a full life. A life of vitality, hope aspirations and dreams. This life will stem from the choices you make. We tell ourselves, it's too late when we realize we have made bad choices that have resulted in a lot of wasted time doing the wrong things. I say as long as you're alive and breathing, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!!!! This is something you must believe for yourself and own!!!
Your life of fulfillment begins with making a choice to have one, then taking action to create this life. I have made so many mistakes in my life trying to find the path that will work for me. I will continue to tread my way until such is the day that God calls me home. Until then, the world is here for my exploration and I plan to explore it until I find the way for me. One of the most important things you can do is choose to remove all negative and needy people from your life. Make the decision that they are not necessary on your journey, wish them well and move on!!!! They will drain and suck all the life out of you if you don't cut off their access to you. It's hard sometimes because these people could be family and loved ones, but in the end what really matters is that you have the right to be at peace and pursue your dreams. People who stay stuck in bad choices want company. They want to spread and share the misery and infect those who aren't with their misery.
Get over all the dumb stuff you did in your youth. IT'S OVER, MOVE ON!!!! Get over all the stuff you should have done in your youth, but didn't and do what you can now. Return to school, renew a passion, take a vacation, open a business, have children, get married, in other words whatever it is you think you missed out on that would be a goal for you today, go after it!!! You will discover along the way all the things you will truly need to know about yourself to succeed or not. At least you can change direction and do what will work for you. Let go of all your regrets, sorrow, pain and hurt from the past choices you made. Leave revenge, envy, jealousy, resentment and guilt in the past along with your mistakes and bad choices. CHOOSE TO MOVE FORWARD WITHOUT THEM!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Respect
This blog was inspired by the comments made by readers on random blogs and sites I visit. After surfing the web and reading lots of news items, entertainment blogs, financial blogs and opinion pieces I noticed a disturbing trend. Readers are spewing poison and hate in the comments section so much so, that many sites have changed the way you can leave comments. In this era of anonymity, people feel comfortable being their true selves and expressing the venom that they really feel. It's all across the web. WE REALLY NEED TO LEARN TO RESPECT OTHERS REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT WE SEE EYE TO EYE ON ISSUES!!!!!
During the recent presidential campaign and election, the comments that appeared across the web about our president and his administration were downright inflammatory. One of the supposedly most successful men in our city (not in my opinion but we'll save that for another day), Donald Trump pretty much destroyed what little credibility he had always attacking President Obama. Basically he feels he's the worse president ever and undertook a campaign to humiliate, belittle and embarrass him whenever he could. His agenda was to keep him from being re-elected which was an epic failure. Whatever you think of the President, he is the most powerful person in the world and the office of the Presidency always commands respect. It is a very few who will ever ascend to that office. Donald Trump is among the educated, wealthy and supposedly intelligent people in the world. I can almost understand when some loser redneck from the backwoods, talks this poison and spews venom everywhere. This person is a loser in life and doesn't see or acknowledge his role in his loser life. However people who are educated and successful are supposed to know how to disagree and state how they feel without the obvious lack of RESPECT exhibited here. It's what we expect of those who KNOW BETTER TO DO BETTER!!!!
Physical bullying is also alive and well and thriving!! A few months ago a teenage girl who was being bullied by the football players at her high school took her own life, by jumping in front of a subway train in front of her classmates. She said she couldn't take it anymore before she jumped. Many young people are opting for death rather than deal with another moment of bullying. I find this phenomenon especially disturbing because, its so sad and the victims so young. Many adults say things like, high school doesn't last forever and we all were teased growing up. Obviously the child who takes there life doesn't see it this way. If we are going to help, we have to recognize how they feel and how they see it.
If you dare to criticize a beloved celebrity whose lifestyle choices you may not agree with, LOOK OUT!!! Their fans may stalk you on Twitter, Facebook or any other social media site and make your life miserable. It's bullying for the 21st century, CYBER-BULLYING!!! If you dare express your opinion and disagreement in the comments section, with a celebrities actions on one of the many on-line blogs that cover this, you will be bombarded with vicious responses by their fans. They will call you names, talk about you as if they know you and even threaten you. All of this because you disagree with their opinion. How much more disrespectful can it get, when you aren't even allowed to have your own independent opinion? God has given each of us free will, yet many humans believe they have the right to quash that free will. The ironic thing here is the celebrity they think they're defending doesn't give a crap about any of us.
Using people for all you can get out of them and paying them very little for this is another way we show people lack of respect. We are moving toward a low-wage existent society. Once upon a time a college education guaranteed you a middle class life, not anymore!!!! There are people with graduate degrees who cannot find work and are on food stamps. You can outsource jobs that once paid nice living wages, dumb down our students, take away hard fought benefits like medical and dental, etc all in the name of progress. Who does this progress benefit? Certainly not middle class America or the poor. There's no hope of them ever moving up in life. When the deck is constantly stacked against the have not's, how do they move up? HMMM!! I know they DON'T!!! Now don't get me wrong, I believe in free enterprise and I'm not about socialism, but I do believe in fair wages for a day's work.
Deciding I fit a stereotype and you know what I'm about is yet another way to show your lack of respect. I have many facets to my personality as do all people. If I'm having a bad day or going through a particularly tough time, it DOES NOT MAKE ME AN ANGRY BLACK WOMAN!!!! It makes me a human being going through something. I'm sick of people who think they know what walking around in my shoes is like. You have no idea what it is to be me and I have no idea what it is to be you. Please do not make assumptions about me. I'm sick of people who are displeased with themselves looking to justify their miserable existence by blaming others for all their problems. I wasn't there when your problems became a part of your life and I am not particularly interested in being the recipient of your frustrations.
All of the above are just a sample reflecting what happens when we don't show others respect. Every human being wants to be validated and acknowledged. When we decide that others don't matter, ultimately we disrespect ourselves as we are all connected. I value myself and my life, so please, if you choose to be an ASS, STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!
During the recent presidential campaign and election, the comments that appeared across the web about our president and his administration were downright inflammatory. One of the supposedly most successful men in our city (not in my opinion but we'll save that for another day), Donald Trump pretty much destroyed what little credibility he had always attacking President Obama. Basically he feels he's the worse president ever and undertook a campaign to humiliate, belittle and embarrass him whenever he could. His agenda was to keep him from being re-elected which was an epic failure. Whatever you think of the President, he is the most powerful person in the world and the office of the Presidency always commands respect. It is a very few who will ever ascend to that office. Donald Trump is among the educated, wealthy and supposedly intelligent people in the world. I can almost understand when some loser redneck from the backwoods, talks this poison and spews venom everywhere. This person is a loser in life and doesn't see or acknowledge his role in his loser life. However people who are educated and successful are supposed to know how to disagree and state how they feel without the obvious lack of RESPECT exhibited here. It's what we expect of those who KNOW BETTER TO DO BETTER!!!!
Physical bullying is also alive and well and thriving!! A few months ago a teenage girl who was being bullied by the football players at her high school took her own life, by jumping in front of a subway train in front of her classmates. She said she couldn't take it anymore before she jumped. Many young people are opting for death rather than deal with another moment of bullying. I find this phenomenon especially disturbing because, its so sad and the victims so young. Many adults say things like, high school doesn't last forever and we all were teased growing up. Obviously the child who takes there life doesn't see it this way. If we are going to help, we have to recognize how they feel and how they see it.
If you dare to criticize a beloved celebrity whose lifestyle choices you may not agree with, LOOK OUT!!! Their fans may stalk you on Twitter, Facebook or any other social media site and make your life miserable. It's bullying for the 21st century, CYBER-BULLYING!!! If you dare express your opinion and disagreement in the comments section, with a celebrities actions on one of the many on-line blogs that cover this, you will be bombarded with vicious responses by their fans. They will call you names, talk about you as if they know you and even threaten you. All of this because you disagree with their opinion. How much more disrespectful can it get, when you aren't even allowed to have your own independent opinion? God has given each of us free will, yet many humans believe they have the right to quash that free will. The ironic thing here is the celebrity they think they're defending doesn't give a crap about any of us.
Using people for all you can get out of them and paying them very little for this is another way we show people lack of respect. We are moving toward a low-wage existent society. Once upon a time a college education guaranteed you a middle class life, not anymore!!!! There are people with graduate degrees who cannot find work and are on food stamps. You can outsource jobs that once paid nice living wages, dumb down our students, take away hard fought benefits like medical and dental, etc all in the name of progress. Who does this progress benefit? Certainly not middle class America or the poor. There's no hope of them ever moving up in life. When the deck is constantly stacked against the have not's, how do they move up? HMMM!! I know they DON'T!!! Now don't get me wrong, I believe in free enterprise and I'm not about socialism, but I do believe in fair wages for a day's work.
Deciding I fit a stereotype and you know what I'm about is yet another way to show your lack of respect. I have many facets to my personality as do all people. If I'm having a bad day or going through a particularly tough time, it DOES NOT MAKE ME AN ANGRY BLACK WOMAN!!!! It makes me a human being going through something. I'm sick of people who think they know what walking around in my shoes is like. You have no idea what it is to be me and I have no idea what it is to be you. Please do not make assumptions about me. I'm sick of people who are displeased with themselves looking to justify their miserable existence by blaming others for all their problems. I wasn't there when your problems became a part of your life and I am not particularly interested in being the recipient of your frustrations.
All of the above are just a sample reflecting what happens when we don't show others respect. Every human being wants to be validated and acknowledged. When we decide that others don't matter, ultimately we disrespect ourselves as we are all connected. I value myself and my life, so please, if you choose to be an ASS, STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!
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