CHILDREN OF VIOLENCE

Violence and mayhem are everywhere.  It's a part of the American culture. Rightly or wrongly, we all are somewhat desensitized to it.  It's the only explanation as to why we tolerate it in any form still.  We send our children off to schools where they are bullied into committing suicide regularly.  This isn't a rare phenomenon anymore.  I will be the first to state that suicide is an extreme solution and I wish they were able to understand that their problem is ONLY TEMPORARY and that SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION!!!  I am so sick of seeing the stories of children bullied to the point that they take their own lives.  I'm sick of people blaming the victim, referring to them as weak and the inability to tolerate anything.  The real problem here is parents raising children who have no regard for other human beings, humanity and life.  Your first duty as a parent is to protect your child, but protecting one's child from the ails of society is almost impossible.  So no matter what, your child is going to be exposed to some negative aspects of our culture.  You can't avoid it.  Somehow parents have to give their children the courage and ability to withstand whatever comes their way and I know that is not an easy thing to do.  Children are being jumped in school, beaten and tortured beyond the point they can handle.  It seems to me that most of these assaults take place in the gyms and bathrooms.  Perhaps it's time to monitor these places and have an adult present at all times in each.  I know that cutbacks make it likely not to happen, but this is where parents and people in the community need to step up and volunteer to monitor these areas and make sure that children aren't being assaulted in any form.  I know we didn't have to do this when we were growing up, but times have changed.
Exploiting and abusing children unfortunately is not new in our society, but it has gotten so much worse. People seem to think that children exist for their convenience.  Well they don't.  Each child that is bought into this world deserves unconditional love from their parents, food,shelter and clothing.  You certainly don't have to dress your child in designer duds, live in an extravagant home or eat buy only organic food to be a good parent.  You just need to love them unconditionally, provide for them and discipline them when needed.  Providing structure and a loving environment for your children is your job as a parent.  That is how they grow their confidence and learn coping skills.  Preparing your children to face the world daily without you there is just is much a part of your job as feeding them.  For the parents out there doing their best, I applaud you.  For the parents out there who know their children are bullies and don't try to alter their behavior, careful someday your child is going to mess with the wrong person AND get the lesson of a lifetime and that person might just be you!!!!

How Do I See Thee

I am on social media a lot. I have personal as well as business pages and I have 2 blogs and at least one active website that I try to keep up with. I promise to do a better job of keeping all of these things current as I move forward.  I must make the time to keep them current and give people the information they may be seeking because that is largely how most people get, research and learn their information today.  So with that said, I think I'm pretty social media savvy and keep up with some of the trends and latest things being said.
One trend that I cannot stand and wish would slow down is the SELFIE TREND!!.  You want to know why this trend is so disturbing to me.  It's screams self indulgence!!! Really you have nothing better to do than take a few selfies an hour to update your posts.  I'm going to say a few things here that will probably offend many, but it needs to be said.

1.  Many of you are just too damn old to be taking pictures of yourself everyday as if you've changed  that much in a day to post to your social media accounts.  You were born in an era without cell phones and cell phones that record and take pictures.  The first cells to come out where so damn heavy and taking a picture wasn't a possibility.  So why do you now feel the need to document every moment of your life?  Some age better than others, but make no mistake we all age and it shows.  Taking pictures of yourself doing the most mundane of things.  Please give the rest of us a break.  You hold up lines, impose on others, risk accidents recording yourselves in your cars while driving and a whole host of other things, just to see or hear yourself talk whatever FOOLISHNESS you feel the need to share with the rest of us.  DROPPING PEARLS OF WISDOM, well DROPPING PEARLS OF BULLSHIT is more like it!!!!!  Please STOP!!!! 
2. Most of you do not look as good as you think you do.  Many of you are out of shape and it shows!!! Too many of you are unhealthy looking all the while posing with your food and drinks at some restaurant, party, cookout, dinner dates, etc.  What we are really thinking is DAMN HE/SHE GOT FAT!!!  You have this big smile on your face right before you devour a huge plate of food.  Most of you are not eating salads either in these pictures.  It's no wonder Americans are some of the fattest, unhealthiest people in the world.  They are already messing with our food supply, do we really have to assist by making such horrible food choices?  Then these same people will take a bathing suit shot at the beach and post it!!! I don't care what your friends and family tell you, you DO NOT LOOK GOOD!!! You look like you could wrestle a polar bear with your two hands.  We as a society have become enablers because we have all decided we would rather support each other's rising weight gains, than call each other out on it.  See if I say you look beautiful and give thumbs up to pictures of fat people, then I feel better about my own fat ass not doing anything.  It gives us all the excuse we need to keep accepting that getting larger and larger is okay.  WELL IT'S NOT OKAY!!!! We are all slowly killing ourselves, yet all the while telling ourselves, big is beautiful, bigger is better, so we don't have to take our fat lazy asses to the gym and exercise.  I refuse to play into this bullshit anymore.  I'm calling GAME OVER!!! 
3. Dressing for a body you no longer have is just sad and pitiful.  No one wants to see an old-head dressed like a teenager or hip hop artist over the age of 40.  You just look really silly.  When I see a bunch of  pictures on Facebook in a person's profile of people posing and making gestures in a certain way, I can tell they are immature because they are emulating the teenage and hip hop population.  It's usually not a good look.  I want people to be proud of who they are and how far they've come.  I want people to recognize they've earned the battle scars that life has left them with.  These scars are supposed to leave us wiser and smarter than we were before.  I am proud of my age and how far I've come in life because I know it was no easy feat and I'll be damn if I leave it unclaimed to behave like a teenager who knows JACKSHIT about life.  I can't behave like an empty headed silly little girl because I'm not one, nor do I want a man whose expression of himself reads or looks like some rapper from the hood.  
4. Sorry but many of you aren't as cute as you think you are either.  Everybody is told they're beautiful and we all are.  Just not always on the outside.  I know this may seem mean, but it's not.  Stop making videos about how we can look like you.  We don't want to look like you!! Every person has the potential to play up what they have and again, some of us do a better job than others at this.  This is why I write and not make to many videos.  I don't assume the world wants to look at me.  Many of you make all kinds of tutorials, some helpful, some not so much because you say you have a following and they want to know.  Okay!! Just be sure !!  You care  while weaved up, wigged up, hair colored up and enough make up for 3 people.  You aren't  your natural self, but telling us all how to beautiful like you think you are.   I cannot help but to notice these things as I am a very observant person.  Honestly I think many of you are hiding under self esteem issues so you present this bravado personality that doesn't match what I see.  You folks with low self esteem only fool other folks with low self esteem.  The rest of us see right through you even when we indulge you.

I know this is a personal pet peeve of mine, but I miss the days when people dressed for the occasion.  I wish we would return to being fashionable and chic instead of trendy and tacky!!!!

Bakari Henderson

I don't know the circumstances of exactly what happened to this young man, but I know that I don't believe what we are being told. This is a story that so far makes absolutely no sense. As his friend said in an interview; Why were there 10 men against him, for what reason? Well I have a few questions of my own. Where were all his friends when he was getting the life beaten out of him? Hell where were strangers? Why didn't someone intervene as reports are indicating there were no defensive wounds? Who just stands there and lets someone beat on them? Why were his attackers so bent on beating the life out of this man? I don't care what the attorney says about his client not meaning to be fatal. You don't continuously beat a man in his head, especially with brass knuckles if true and expect that no damage will be done. You mean to inflict some damage at the very least and death at most.  Why is the question that is not being addressed.  The limited information coming out of Greece about this incident is suspect.  Basically all they keep telling us and making sure to emphasis is, "It was the Serbs."  Okay it was Serbian people and not Greek people who did this.  Well Greece, that still doesn't let you off the hook.  If Serbian people are a problem and are prone towards violence, what are you doing about it?  If this violence is particularly an issue towards Americans and/or black people, don't you have an obligation to at the very least warn us?  I get you don't want the attack associated with Greeks because they didn't perpetrate this crime, but this did happen under the territory of Greece.  With an economy that is in ruins and tourism being one of the bright spots, I would think the Greek authorities would take whatever steps and action necessary to protect tourist.  I have read many opinions on Baraki and the company he chose to keep.  I will not comment on that here and leave that to others to dissect, other than to say if he thought surrounding himself with caucasian people would protect him from his blackness, then he found out in the harshest way possible that would not be the case.  He was young, very young and obviously had not got the lesson yet, that you cannot escape your blackness.  The only way to handle it, is to wear it proud and be secure in the knowledge of the greatness you come from.  Anything else is just counterproductive to your ability to shine.  Surrounding and surrendering yourself to the ideals that people wish you to be instead of who you are will always lead to an implosion of self.  My thoughts and prayers are with this young man's family.  However you see the situation, he DID NOT deserve to be beaten to death for whatever the stupid reason will turn out to be.

http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/friend-says-american-fatally-beaten-in-greece-was-selfless/

Another video floating around social media is very upsetting to me.  It's a video showing a man in Amsterdam hurling a black woman down a flight of stairs in an attempt to get her out of the apartment she and her friend were sharing.  Apparently the man felt they were overstaying their time and needed to get the next set of people in.  He was renting via AIRBNB which I have a whole host of reasons why black people should just stick with hotels and hostels than deal with some of the racial issues this newfound trend has bought out.  In a hotel or hostel environment, this would have not happened.  It would have been handled very differently.  For starters if working out keeping the room couldn't be done and they refused to leave, the police would have been called and escorted them out.  They would not have likely been thrown down stairs and treated like rag dolls.  I for one am tired of people thinking that its okay to disrespect black people, in particular black women and people need to understand that the majority of us are not going to react like Bakari Henderson and not defend ourselves and I'm not going to cry like a little girl if you put your hands on me.  I'm going to defend myself and I will be coming hard for anyone who I feel is a danger to my safety and well being, so please understand that before you approach me.  The soft and coons among us should not lull you into a false sense of security that we are scared cowards and won't fight back.  IT IS NOT TRUE!!!  Respect works both ways, you don't give it, you don't get it!!!!

https://www.facebook.com/blackexpat/videos/10154436701826853/

TOLERATING DISRESPECT

"Your throat must burn from swallowing back all that courage;
don’t you know that there is a fire in your story, in your trauma, in your pain,
and that there are people around you with dry wood in there chests,
waiting, to be ignited by your testimony,
waiting for just a spark from your lips,
barely holding on, waiting for the oxygen in your words to feed the flame they thought had long since died in them. 
they are waiting for you to open your mouth, and speak."      —  iammyss, speak

This cavalier attitude towards the disrespect of women coming from our current leader is so disappointing and I wish that women had not been the ones to put him in office. Like most women, I have had to deal with unpleasant encounters that would not have happened to a man.  The vulnerability that many women feel is real and we have a right to feel safe in any and all environments we're in. Some years ago, I was in my office working late along with a male colleague and the cleaning guy. Another colleague was in the area drinking and kept coming back and forth in the office (which was a storefront) while also harassing people on the street. By the time he came back to the office his final time, he was shirtless, his pants somewhat undone, I guess he was on his way to stripping in the street, He decided I was fair game and physically and verbally attacked me at my desk. I will spare you the ugly details of his actions, ugly words and the fight that broke out between us at my desk. My male colleague intervened and I walked away because I was so angry I knew in that moment I would kill him where he stood. As I made my way back to my desk, the police  arrived and arrested him. One of the patrons from the restaurant down the block he was harassing people at had called the police. He was taken away to a hospital (not jail) for treatment. As upset as I was, what really angered and hurt me deeply is that many of the men expressed more concern with what was going on with him than they were about my well being and safety.  They  planned to reach out to him and make sure he was okay.  One of my male colleagues actually said to me that Karma would come back at me if filed a complaint and got him fired.  He showed up to work the next morning like nothing happened. Some of the women I worked with approached the manager and made it clear they were uncomfortable with him being in the office. My male manager actually defended him and said he wasn't himself. He was fired later that day, but only after senior management made it clear to the manager that he had to go and he had to go now!!! Only one man in the office confronted him and made it clear his actions were unacceptable. The deafening silence coming from his male counterparts on his behavior spoke volumes and I will never forget it!!!!! It hurt more than the actual assault. It gave me an up close and personal look at the male culture of acceptance of tolerating disrespectful behavior towards women.   I refuse to live in a bubble and be afraid, but I am a lot more conscientious about making sure that I am as least vulnerable as I can be given the circumstances!!!

Say What !!

So suddenly a certain sector finds themselves under fire as Trump has kept good on one of his very vile promises to target Muslims and people from the Middle East.  As I understand it from the news stories, that people are being detained after arriving back at U.S. airports and sent back to wherever they're from.  Some have green cards, visas, jobs, etc.  The thing they all seem to have in common right now is their religion and region from which they come.  There are massive protests once again and airports are jammed with people shouting slogans, demanding justice and fighting back.  Good for them.  Again, I think its much to little, way to late.  This is yet another situation that could have been prevented if people bothered to show up and vote in the numbers they show up to protest. 
I cannot even imagine the horror these people must feel knowing that their whole lives are being turned upside down and inside out because half of the country really would like to see them gone. Don't delude yourself, that's why he was voted into office, they want you out.  They want a wall, fence or whatever object they think will hold you back from entering here.  If nothing else, I hope the stuff happening around our country really opens up the eyes of the American public who has been sleeping on the pulse of how many in the nation really feel.  I am saddened to see humanity stoop to such lowliness, but not surprised.  If you want to measure the goodness of a country, watch how they treat their own.  In doing that NO ONE SHOULD BE SURPRISED HOW MESSED UP THINGS ARE!!!!
American citizens of African descent have been treated like second class citizens since we were stolen and continue to be treated unfairly and unjust.  Rural citizens in extremely poor areas of this country fare a little better, but not much.  There's a need in this country to be of a class that is better than the next and as such, it has always caused a certain amount of friction.  White people have been led to believe that somehow black people are the cause of all that's wrong with this country, even though black people only make up 12-15% of the population and don't control much, but we're the problem. We are using up all the country's resources on welfare and food stamps.  When the plain, simple truth is the average person on welfare and food stamps in this country is poor and white.
We are used to this attitude and behavior.  Most immigrants arrive with the highest of hopes that America is a great country and they can do anything and be anything they want.  Some make their dreams come true and others live the rest of their time here somewhat disillusioned by the dream.  All are able to come and achieve whatever success they manage through a door that was opened by Black Americans during the civil rights movement.  Although Affirmative Action has been turned into a dirty phrase, we all know the biggest winners of Affirmative Action were and still are white women.  The civil rights movement allowed everyone who wasn't a white male to benefit.  Most do not acknowledge that their direct beneficiaries of the civil rights movement.  They like to think, they've made it on their own and therefore owe no one for their success, but you do.  You owe everyone of my ancestors and their peers who were beaten, raped, lynched, set on fire and countless other atrocities for marching to vote, for marching for equal rights, for marching for jobs, for marching for the rights that we all enjoy today.   Some know the debt they owe, but most don't and this is why I have sat out this issue as well.

When the women's march took place some where surprised, I didn't participate or speak much about it.  People who know me personally know I am recovering from being under the weather and assumed I just wasn't up for it.  This is not why I didn't speak out or march.  I explained in my previous post my position. (See post Aftermath)  For some of the same reasons, I refuse to speak out and march on behalf of the people being detained.  Unarmed innocent black people get killed in this country by the police, neighborhood watch bullies, etc all the time, men and women, even our children have been killed when police come to execute a warrant, and you never see any of these people out marching or speaking up on our behalf.  The only other ethnicity you will see besides a sea of mostly black faces is white people and God Bless the folks who aren't afraid to speak up.  If you see other ethnicities, its a few here or there, but never in large numbers.  So as far as I'm concerned this is not a problem for black people to undertake or deal with unless they choose to and I for one am sitting it out.  Of course, if he starts this mess with my African or Caribbean brothers and sisters THEN I WILL BE THERE !!!!!

AFTERMATH

 So fast forward and it's been two months since the country went to the polls and voted in Donald J. Trump as President of the United States of America.  Suddenly there are calls to be unified and bring the country together.  Let's hold hands, get over it and all sing Kumbaya while supporting a man who has mocked the disabled, made lewd and inappropriate statements about everybody!!! While some of his most damning statements have been about women, don't get it twisted, he has come for all.  While his supporters are calling for Kumbaya moments, there's a swell of people who are out in full force  protesting his swearing in and his inauguration.  Well as far as I'm concerned that's much too little, way to late!!! If people came out in droves on election day, like they're coming out now to protest him, he would have never ascended to the highest office in the land!!!

So 54 percent of white and hispanic women voted for him.  Judging by the numbers of women who showed up all around the country, some of them have since changed their minds and come out to disown him.  Well I say, "THANKS FOR NOTHING."  If you women had not chose to protect your white privilege first over everyone else, then he wouldn't be there.  When faced with a choice, you chose to protect your privilege and you didn't care the cost and who else it would affect.  Racism, sexism, mocking the handicap, undoing healthcare for 20 million Americans who need it, gutting the education system, being in partnership with Putin in any form, having twitter wars regularly, making alliances with known white supremacists, where all okay and a part of the bargain as long as you preserve "my" white privilege.  I don't know when white people are finally going to get that the cost of your privilege is TOO HIGH!! IT IS NOT A FREE RIDE, BUT IS PAID BY OTHERS!!!!

Now there are complaints that women of color, in particular black women weren't as visible (although the march was organized by a black woman).  Well this time you might be right.  I know I sat it out and I intend to continue to sit it out.  White women are the reason there's a problem and white women should fix it.  We black folks, in particular the women are tired of always having to stand up and do the fighting, especially unnecessary fights and this one was unnecessary!!!  We have so much we have to fight for and always take a stand for that we don't have room for the unnecessary stuff that shouldn't have happened.  As it is we have been fighting and standing up to racism for reasons that were never any fault of our own!! LET ME REPEAT THAT,  WE HAVE BEEN FIGHTING AND STANDING UP TO RACISM FOR REASONS THAT WERE NEVER ANY FAULT OF OUR OWN!!!! NOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO UNDERTAKE A BATTLE THAT MOST OF THE BLAME LITERALLY LIES AT THE FEET OF WHITE WOMEN!!! I DON'T THINK SO!!
Here are my feelings very plainly.  When we reach a time in our society when unarmed black women, (such as Sandra Bland killed by police in Texas) evoke the ire and wrath of the "white" feminist movement and they come out in huge numbers to protest and demand answers, or when they show up at school to protest a teenage black girl being flipped over in her chair by a police officer because she refused to get up. or when they protest a police department that shows up at a pool party in a nice neighborhood and proceeds to force a teenage black girl in a swimsuit to the ground while kneeing her in the chest as she cries for her mother because she's black (they do not even think of doing such a thing to the mostly white teenagers who were there. FYI this was a noise complaint)  as a response to a minor complaint, or when they knock a teenage girl down to the ground because she's riding her bicycle in a parking lot, or any of the hundreds of other ridiculous things that go on everyday all around this country directed at black people, but black women and girls in particular, then I'll worry about joining the march.  Until then I do not delude myself into thinking that these women represent or care about me or any of my black sisters in any way. 
Black people don't have the luxury of stepping out of their blackness to get a break.  It's there all the time.  There are other ethnic groups who feel they can pretend to be "white" or "white minded".  I leave them to learn on their own, its just an illusion they're feeding themselves.  I don't feel we should have to pretend to be anything but what we are.  We are made in the image of God and are his children and he DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES!!!

 Even the way the protestors were treated by different police departments around the country are like night and day!! There's footage of the Atlanta, GA Police Department, giving high fives and hugs. Such a contrast to when black folks come out to protest.  They're dressed in riot gear, ready to RELEASE tear gas and someone is getting arrested just because they're not going to let all those black folks be in one place and not arrest someone.  It's so hypocritical and shameful.  All of this because many in "White America" are angry a black man has been in charge of the country for the last eight years, so they elect one of the worst people on the planet to undo any progress President Obama has made in an attempt to destroy his legacy while attempting to take the country back to the slave trade days!!! Since being elected the true colors of many have come out and it ain't pretty!!!

Everyone seems to want to think that the racists are the old white guys dying out.  Well based on Fox and other cable channels, the things that float around the internet on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, that's not true.  The attacks on former President Obama and his family, specifically his wife were just awful.  Most of these insults are coming from a younger demographic and women. The above screen shot shows a woman who is supposed to be a doctor which makes her educated, successful and supposedly smart, talking about bringing back slavery so she can have a maid.  So she's fine with enslaving a group of people because she can use a maid.  Imagine being a patient of hers if you're black.  There's no way she's going to be concerned about your best interest.  So tell me about how far we've come and how racism is almost a thing of the past.  These people were waiting for a leader and he came along and he captured the White House, so America hold a big mirror up to your face and take a look at what you really are if you want to make real change, it starts with knowing who you really are!!!! In the meantime the march was just the beginning.  If you're not willing to speak up and out against these types of behavior, punish accordingly and let it be known we as a society will not tolerate it, then you're wasting your time!!!