FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

Financial responsibility is so important if you want to be able to afford your life.   Unfortunately,  many people don't understand just how important this is.  Money is an important factor in life and having enough seems to be a problem for most people.  In order to understand how much money plays a role in our society, you should start with knowing about money and the many roles it takes on.  There is Cash, Credit, Assets, Gold, Stocks, Bonds, Real Estate, etc.  To learn the specifics and differences about these,  you should buy a good book explaining them.   You should do this before you ever invest a penny or open a credit card account or buy a piece of real estate.   in other words before you start spending,  you should know exactly how all of this works and how it will affect you long term, specifically your credit, credit worthiness and ability to accumulate wealth. 

I am not a financial expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I have learned a little something over the years and made enough mistakes to warrant warning others!!! I also spent years with a successful man who taught me some things about money and accumulating wealth and although the relationship eventually fizzled, I haven't forgotten the things he taught me when we were together. 

 I have sold real estate for over 15 years in New York City and I have seen people barely qualified to purchase a home buy knowing that at some point unless their financial situation changes, they will default under the pressure.  It is very difficult being a homeowner and keeping up with all the things you have to do to maintain your property.  keeping its value, as well as paying your taxes, insurance and many other bills related to owning a home.  It is not for the barely qualified and financially irresponsible.  You will find yourself and your family in a bad situation if you don't keep your payments up and pay on time.  I've seen too many people over the years become landlords without fully understanding what that entails.  I know that the American dream is to own a home and that many people in the real estate business encourage people to buy multiple family homes for the rental income. They hold seminars and tell you that owning property is the best way to wealth and sell you their foolproof method of doing this.  Although owning a home is a part of building wealth, it is only feasible if you can afford it.   If you cannot afford your home without your tenants rental payment, then this is a bad idea.  You should have your own money  or have money set aside to pay your mortgage and cover repairs, whether your tenants pay you or not.  Many people become landlords and discover just how difficult it can be.  Tenants don't always pay you on time and if they're having financial difficulties, they may not pay you at all.  If you're dependent on their money, you now have a problem.  It will cost you money to take them to court and evict them.  It is money you will likely never recover.  In addition, there are laws that protect tenants that you will have to follow whether you tenant is paying rent on time or not at all, like providing heat and hot water and anything else you agreed upon that is provided in the lease.  You don't get to stop providing it just because they aren't paying.  So if you're financially strapped because you could barely afford your property, this is going to cause you a great deal of stress and anxiety.

I also know many homeowners that aren't landlords but own a single family home and are constantly looking for ways to cut costs, such as energy, heat, hot water etc and then want to invite you to their house to freeze in the winter and sweat in the summer.  I know many won't like this, but you probably really can't afford your home either.  If you cannot live in your home and enjoy it with comfortable temperature settings,  a hot water tank that produces hot water 24 hours a day and properly water your lawn, then you might want to reconsider your decision to own a home because it seems like it's a financial stretch for you.

With that said, becoming a homeowner is a great way to build wealth and there's nothing wrong with being a homeowner.  In most cases (with the exception of the housing meltdown) homes usually increase in value over time, so if you can hold on to your home, it will make you wealthier.   In the meantime, make sure you can afford it.  I know we have no way of knowing what the future will bring, but if you start off a homeowner who can barely afford your home, unless your finances change drastically, you will likely be a homeowner always struggling to keep it together and only you can decide if that's worth it for you. 

Flipping houses is another way, people get into real estate to make money.  You buy a house significantly below market value, make any necessary repairs and sell it at market value.  Again if you can afford it, it is another way to make money and build wealth.  You can get stuck with the property a while before it sells, especially in a bad market,  so be sure before you put all your money into a property expecting a full return because there are no guarantees.  If the property doesn't sell quickly or at all, you can lose your investment.

Luxury cars are another favorite of the population at large and I guess it's nice to own one ( I have never owned a car).  Some people in this country spend more on their car payments than rent, grocery or child support.   If you can truly afford it, then enjoy it.   However, if you pull up and park your luxury automobile in the parking lot of the projects, then you aren't being financially responsible or insuring your  financial future.  Cars start to lose value as soon as you drive it out of the dealership.  If you took those car payments and invested them over the years and let them grow, you might actually be able to become a homeowner who could afford their home.   My ex would only drive luxury cars, but he rarely bought them new or paid full price.  He would  go to auctions and buy cars.  If they were banged up then he would repair them like new.   He drove around in them payment free.  You enjoy something a whole lot more when you're not worried about how you're going to pay for it.

Fashion and designer clothes  are another big cost for many people.  We are a label obsessed society and I am a fashionista, love clothes, shoes , and purses so this is an area, I have to most practice some discipline.  I have had some financial issues over the years as well and have learned to be more financially responsible.  My taste hasn't changed and I still prefer designer clothes, I just don't pay full price for them anymore.  If I could have back every penny I every spent for clothes with the price tag on them I never wore and invested it,  I would probably be rich now.   The first thing I do now before I buy anything is decide do I really love it, if so, do I really need it?   Most of the time that ends my desire right there, but if I do decide to proceed with a purchase, THEN one or more of these happens: 

 it must be ON SALE!!!  I check to see if there are any coupons for a discount,  I wait until the end of season sales where items are discounted even further,  I compare prices to see which place has the item  lowest markdown,  I'm signed up at all my favorite  stores and designers to receive notice of discounts, sales, coupons and online specials.   I ask the manager or store clerk is there is any further discount they can give me.   Sometimes they have codes they can use to reduce an item even further.   If I find something I love at a really good deal and I can afford it, I buy it.  I am not a trendy person.  My taste is more classic so I don't tend to worry too much about something being out of style.  I don't care if the inventory is from last season.  I would rather buy good sturdy pieces that will last for years than a cheap special that will fall apart after you wash it.

One day if it is possible, we would all like to retire and enjoy a certain standard of living.  That starts right now with being more financially astute.  We spend a lifetime accumulating things that will only be left here for someone else to enjoy when we die and that's okay too, just enjoy your own life as much when you're here.  Let's be honest, we will need some money to do that!!!  How much depends on you and your life's plans.   Stop wasting and spend wisely because wasting is giving it away.  You might as well throw it out the window for your neighbors to enjoy.  It's been a BRUTAL lesson for me to learn but my philosophy is BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!!!

Woman in Gold

This column was inspired by a response I received on FaceBook to a status update I posted.  I decided to go a little more in depth about why the #BlackLivesMatters movement was inevitable!!!  Although this post is not about the movement, I hope it brings a little more clarity on why such movements are necessary.  Black people have had to fight for every step of progress made!!

I recently saw the movie Woman in Gold which stars Helen Mirren (whom I love) and Ryan Reynolds.  It is a great movie and is based on a true story.  It's a very poignant movie and addresses the issue of stolen wealth and the complications of trying to regain stolen wealth especially when that wealth was stolen due to racist policies and laws.  It also focuses on the lengths the Austrian benefactors were willing to go to keep what was taken.  The wealth and lifestyle stolen from her family will not be earned or amassed again by her, so this theft not only affected her immediate family but future descendants.   She fights to regain her family's stolen treasure and reclaim what's theirs.  Although this particular story happened in Austria, it really could have been the story of so many descendants of slaves here in America.  The loss of property, art and other valuables were permitted and has yet to be corrected.  When whites stole from our ancestors and robbed them of what was rightfully theirs, they also robbed us of what is rightfully ours.  You cannot pass on wealth if you do not have it.

Unfortunately America has not been willing to remedy it's past or atone for it.  The 40 acres and a mule never happened.  Many whites have wealth that was stolen from blacks and never returned to their descendants.  They passed it on to their descendants who it did not belong to.  For this reason when I read about how slavery is over and it's time to move on, it annoys the hell out of me because it's a limited and over simplified assessment of slavery and it's repercussions.  It does not address the issues or long term ill effects of slavery. It's easy for people who inherited the ill gotten wealth of others to want to move on and leave the past in the past.  If Black America collectively wants to forgive and move on then that would be our choice, but it isn't for others to make for us.  Anytime we speak about reparations or atonement, it is viewed as us wanting a handout.  Handout for what we endured, continue to endure and will continue to endure is insulting.

Austria has set up a system whereby, descendants of the Jewish population that were robbed of everything they ever had, have a means to make a claim.  The fact that you can make this claim in no way guarantees the return of stolen treasures.  No one wants to give up wealth, so these people are in for a fight and many times, come out on the losing end, but at least Austria has begun to acknowledge what happened and started the process of addressing it.  They have a long way to go before they can pat themselves on the back.  America hasn't even begun to admit and atone for the wrongdoings it has  inflicted on black people.  It has apologized to the Japanese for the camps.  It has apologized to Native American's and allows casinos for them to operate and accumulate some type of wealth.  It has been a safe haven for the Jewish community fleeing the horrors of the Nazi's and it has helped countless other ethnic groups who find themselves in need and it should. Yet, America has not apologized or attempted to correct the single most horrifying terroristic act it has committed and that was the enslavement of black people.  We were taken from our homeland of Africa, beaten, raped, brutalized, lynched, sold and separated from our families all in the name of free labor but there are still those out there who believe we should forget and move on like it never happened.

Here's why we can't.  We still live with racism and effects of slavery today. We have a shorter life span, higher rates of medical ailments, higher unemployment rates, higher death rates from treatable diseases, lower earnings and salaries while having the same or better credentials than our white counterparts, higher incarcerations rates, higher police fatality rates, lower promotion rates regardless of education. higher loan rejection rates, higher interest on loans rates, stricter requirements and lower favorable rates for home ownership, higher insurance rates based on our addresses and not our needs, higher rejections for business loans.  Our children are more likely to be labeled and placed in special education for just being kids, our children are more likely to be suspended, expelled or punished for the same infraction as a white student, the school is more likely to involve the police in a situation if the student is black, inner city black students attend more inferior schools than their white counterparts in the suburbs, yet our education system is supposed to be equal.  One just needs to look at social media outlets or the comments section of an article, whether the article is about race or not and all the insensitive, ignorant, stupid and demoralizing comments that are made to understand, we are a long way from equality.  A recent incident where a group of adults thought it was okay to post racist comments about a innocent and defenseless three year old child illustrates this point.  There are so many more things I can say, but I think you get my point.  We cannot even begin to think that all Americans are on equal footing and all have the same opportunities.  It is just a lie, a myth, an insult and an injustice.

We can't pass along wealth that was stolen from us.  I'm not saying that every white person stole from black people or every black person was wealthy but for those who did have land, created art that they were not allowed to keep, started businesses etc that were taken from them, their descendants never got the benefit of their ancestors fortitude to own or create.  Unlike Austria there is not a system of retribution set up here.  The U.S. Courts have consistently ruled that since black people were considered property at the time, we had no ownership of our assets and thus continue to issue rulings that are at the very least inhumane.  How about ruling the U.S. violated the principle that "ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL"  when it decided to get into the slave trade and that owning human beings as property was unjust and immoral.  The Declaration of Independence didn't make exclusions for skin color.   Since this ruling is not likely to be made, at least in my lifetime, we continue to deal with a system that will not return to us what is rightfully ours. This is a theme with people of color all  around the world. One of the reasons many Africans continue to remain poor and struggle is because they have yet to have what was stolen from them returned either.  Africa is an oil rich, diamond rich, mineral rich country and yet is one of the poorest nations in the universe.  The Aborigine people were the original inhabitants of Australia and remain shut out of the continent's wealth today.   Why is it that theft of assets from people of color around the world continues to happen?  GREED and CORRUPTION!!! The GREEDY and CORRUPT among us will never admit to their wrongdoings and will not relinquish our wealth as long as THEY DON'T HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!

Ferguson

Where do we begin with this one?  This country has always been a dangerous place for black people.  It is a world that was not created for us and does not take our unique experience into consideration.  Honestly, it doesn't even acknowledge our unique history and experiences in America.  In spite of all of that, we have as a race thrived and prospered anyway.  This disheartening and demoralizing lack of concern and value for the life of black people in this country is despicable.

 For over 400 years the descendants of Africa have been fighting for their rights in this country.  Of late, there has been much talk of the different types of black experiences and lineage of black people in this country and around the world for that matter.  I am not attempting in anyway to address all these types of lineages and experiences.  I am a descendant of African slaves and my family has been in this country for at least a couple hundred years as my family tree indicates.  I am speaking only about the millions of us who are descendants of African slaves and have been in the country for many generations.  I know many are offended about being grouped in with the terminology African American and I want to be clear, I am not speaking about them.  I will leave them to tell their own story.   I am addressing the generations of  mistreatment and continued systematic cover up of the intentional police misconduct aimed at causing harm to black people.

From slavery and it's historical devaluing of black life including the rapes, lynching, burning, mutalitings, beatings and killings of millions of innocent African people to Willie Lynch and Jim Crow laws, black people weren't supposed to survive.   We didn't just survive, but we organized, fought back and founded the Civil Rights Movement stood up for ourselves and demanded our equal rights.   As a result, the civil rights movement was signed into law.  Just about every suppressed group around the world today uses this as an example to stand up for themselves and fight back.  We created the blueprint for others to follow.

The lack of value of black life isn't just a problem outside of our community, but within as well.  Our young people must understand the true price paid for their freedom and the ability to make available to them choices their ancestors never had.  The materialistic existence that so many of them have has lead them to place value and worth on the wrong things.  Idleness is the enemy of success.  I would encourage all of our young people to find something that really interests you and learn all you can about it.  Even if it you have to do it for free, learn it, master it and one day it will lead you to a place where it earns you success.  People suffered greatly and many gave their lives so you could be free.   Your life is either an example for humanity or a stain on it!!!

The police who are sworn to protect and serve have turned into (maybe they were all along) an organization used to dole out street justice, like any other gang of thugs on the streets.  Killing unarmed black people seems to go unpunished because many believe the lies the police tell, they feel they must have done something to deserve it.  Many of these infractions they are being accused of is NOT PUNISHABLE BY DEATH!!! If these men lived to be prosecuted or punished, death wouldn't even be an option.  I venture to say that most would have the charges dismissed since we are talking about petty nonsense to begin with.  So why is a person who sells loose cigarettes on the street dead by a police chokehold for a crime that wouldn't even gotten him jail time?  Why is a little boy with a toy gun shot dead, especially when you were told before arriving on scene that the gun was likely a toy?  Was there some local law that took effect declaring death now become the punishment for carrying a toy gun?  Don't tell me he shouldn't be playing with a toy gun.  When all little boys including little white boys are told to stop playing with toy guns, then we can talk!!!  Why is a child who was walking before the police arrived suddenly crying out in pain and unable to walk or hold himself up and then later dies of injuries from his broken back not treated immediately or taken for medical help?  Better yet, why is he handled with such force by a group of solid size men  that his back and spine get broken?  Why is a man who owes child support shot eight times in the back?  I can't think of one woman I know who would like to see their ex be shot over child support, if for no other reason than, you'll never get your money.  These men are treated so inhumanely because society does not value them.  They are being taken away from their families and communities because racist police officers who should not be patrolling are using deadly force as a first defense.  After watching some of the footage that has come to light, you can't even say they're afraid, since so much of this is done so cold bloodily.  This isn't fear, it's disdain, hatred, arrogance and racism in full display for all the world to see.

I've said it before, but it bears repeating.  People only do what they do, because they don't believe they will be judged and answer for it one day.  If you need any further proof of that just look at what's going on in the world today.  Each morning each of us that rise and meet the day, have been given permission by God to be here.  When someone removes one of us, they are telling God, you made a mistake, but don't worry, I took care of it for you. I guess they don't think he will ever demand an explanation from them.

Memories

Starting the new year off right seems to be at the top of everyone's resolution wish.  How long  most people stick to their resolutions is anyone's guess, but I'm guessing not long.  For many of us this is the time to renew broken promises we made to ourselves, begin afresh something we say we're going to do, lose weight, find another job, open a business, join a gym, take a vacation, etc.  The list is endless.  I wish you all success with whatever endeavor you seek and encourage you to do it whether it lasts or not.

I did not make any resolutions this year.  It begins for me with the decision to move on.  After suffering the loss of my mother in November 2013, I spent most of 2014 coming to terms with this loss.  Losing a parent is a significant loss and especially when it's your sole remaining parent   You walk around feeling like an orphan and somewhat insecure, because let's face it, no matter who old we are, we still need our parents.  I have decided that my mother would want me to go on and not only live my life, but enjoy my life.  In order to do that, I must let go of her and things in my past that keep me from moving forward.  Mostly, I feel like I would be leaving her, my dad and my brother behind.  I know that is not the case, but it felt like it.  I am a Christian so I believe with all my heart that my mother is in heaven with God and wouldn't come back if she could.  Who would leave heaven and the presence of God to return to this earth?

So my promise to myself is that I will take as many steps as I need to move ahead and go on with my new reality.  It's a different life.  When people are removed from our lives for whatever reason, death, divorce, moving away, our lives are not the same, at least not initially, if ever.  It's funny how things happen that forever change you, but people expect you to be the same.  I was already in a state of reassessing and reemerging before this happened.  My life has been in a state of unpredictability for years now and all the while on a learning curve.  I realized that I have to some degree, cut myself off from my own renewal not wanting to incur any more setbacks or pain. If I am to ever fulfill my life's purpose, I have to begin to experience life again on a more proactive level and be more focused on what needs to be done instead of crippled by pain, fear and dread.  I've always been a person who rolled with the punches and kept it moving until a few years ago.  Life knocked me down and for whatever reason,  I didn't really rally the way I should have.  We only have so much fight in us, so maybe I just surrendered to it because it was easier than fighting.  I know that aging and being tired (as only another single parent can understand) caught up to me.  So now I accept it all and release myself from it. It is no longer my burden to carry,

What does 2015 have in store for me.  I don't know, but I do know that as long as I hold fast to God and keep praying, I stand more than a chance of being okay.  As for my mother, father and brother, they will live on through me and in my memory for as long as I walk this earth.  I know that they all want the best for me and wish me the best.  If they could I know they would say, no more weeping, no more mourning.  We have left you with plenty of fond memories to keep your heart warm, NOW GO AND LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!