"Your throat must burn from swallowing back all that courage;
don’t you know that there is a fire in your story, in your trauma, in your pain,
and that there are people around you with dry wood in there chests,
waiting, to be ignited by your testimony,
waiting for just a spark from your lips,
barely holding on, waiting for the oxygen in your words to feed the flame they thought had long since died in them.
they are waiting for you to open your mouth, and speak." — iammyss, speak
This cavalier attitude towards the disrespect of women coming from our current leader is so disappointing and I wish that women had not been the ones to put him in office. Like most women, I have had to deal with unpleasant encounters that would not have happened to a man. The vulnerability that many women feel is real and we have a right to feel safe in any and all environments we're in. Some years ago, I was in my office working late along with a male colleague and the cleaning guy. Another colleague was in the area drinking and kept coming back and forth in the office (which was a storefront) while also harassing people on the street. By the time he came back to the office his final time, he was shirtless, his pants somewhat undone, I guess he was on his way to stripping in the street, He decided I was fair game and physically and verbally attacked me at my desk. I will spare you the ugly details of his actions, ugly words and the fight that broke out between us at my desk. My male colleague intervened and I walked away because I was so angry I knew in that moment I would kill him where he stood. As I made my way back to my desk, the police arrived and arrested him. One of the patrons from the restaurant down the block he was harassing people at had called the police. He was taken away to a hospital (not jail) for treatment. As upset as I was, what really angered and hurt me deeply is that many of the men expressed more concern with what was going on with him than they were about my well being and safety. They planned to reach out to him and make sure he was okay. One of my male colleagues actually said to me that Karma would come back at me if filed a complaint and got him fired. He showed up to work the next morning like nothing happened. Some of the women I worked with approached the manager and made it clear they were uncomfortable with him being in the office. My male manager actually defended him and said he wasn't himself. He was fired later that day, but only after senior management made it clear to the manager that he had to go and he had to go now!!! Only one man in the office confronted him and made it clear his actions were unacceptable. The deafening silence coming from his male counterparts on his behavior spoke volumes and I will never forget it!!!!! It hurt more than the actual assault. It gave me an up close and personal look at the male culture of acceptance of tolerating disrespectful behavior towards women. I refuse to live in a bubble and be afraid, but I am a lot more conscientious about making sure that I am as least vulnerable as I can be given the circumstances!!!
