Dear Trump Supporter

To all of the supporters, defenders and voters of President-elect, Donald Trump, THANK YOU!!!!.   There's something about pretensions being shattered that liberate the mind, body and soul.
I posted on my Facebook page earlier this month after the election results about how the real lesson here may be in seeing who we are letting in our lives.  We are colleagues, drinking, lunch and dinner buddies.  Some of us thought we were really good friends and others we knew were casual acquaintances in our daily lives.  What do we really know about each other, a few intimate things, maybe and maybe not.  Sometimes we like each other and sometimes we're pretending.  All of this as we go along to get along.  After all you don't want to be labeled difficult or anti-social.  What this election did was pull the covers off and ripped the scab off of America's bullshit. We are a country divided and the racists came out in full force to support this man.  It let's us know we have a long way to go and are still doing a lot of pretending!!!!

WELL NO MORE PRETENDING WITH ME!!!! We are sitting down to dinner, having drinks, having lunch and spending our time with people who were comfortable putting a racist, sexist, elitist in the White House.  I saw a meme that says, "You may not be a racist, but putting one in the White House wasn't a deal breaker."  Well I disagree, if you were comfortable putting one in the White House, it is because you agree with him. I've also heard all of the excuses, from I'm voting for my unborn grandchildren to what does it matter as long as he can fix the country.  The country was not broken.  It was just in the control of a black president which many of you couldn't stomach because as far as you're concerned a black man didn't belong in the White House!!! As far as your unborn grandchildren are concerned, they'll be born only if the mother carrying them wants them to be.  No president, future or past will be the reason your unborn grandchild lives or dies!!!
IF YOU'RE OKAY WITH DONALD TRUMP BEING PRESIDENT, YOU ARE NOT ABOUT MY CIVIL LIBERTIES AND RIGHTS!!! IT IS AN OXYMORON TO SAY YOU ARE A TRUMP SUPPORTER AND A CHRISTIAN, OR YOU BELIEVE IN HUMAN RIGHTS OR   GENDER EQUALITY!!!! Trump has nothing to do with God or humanity.  Trump is about Trump, always has been and always will be.  His record speaks for itself!!!

Yes we each have the right to support the candidate of our choice, but I also have the right to not engage with people who support such a candidate and who are about hate and bigotry and feel  racism and sexism is a cost of doing business.  I cannot allow someone in my life who thinks these issues are secondary to preserving their privilege.  Your privilege has come at a cost of others rights and hardships for far too long.  I would rather spend my time with those who understand that everyone should be extended the courtesy of being treated like a human being with dignity and given the opportunity to reach their maximum potential without interruption or interference from those whose hatred envelopes them!  If I don't matter to you, you certainly shouldn't matter to me!!!! Please do not tell me, you can be a supporter of Trump and not be a racist.  It isn't possible and don't delude yourself, you are not a nice person, a good person or a decent person who just happens to support Trump!!! I know I won't have the luxury of never dealing with any of his supporters, but I do have the option of not having a personal relationship with any of the ones I know about!!!!   AS IT TURNS OUT RACISM IS A DEAL BREAKER FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!

THE NEW YORK I GREW UP IN!!

WHAT I MISS ABOUT OLD NY!!!!

I miss the old New York that I grew up in. So many fond memories. I grew up in Harlem but was all over the city growing up. This city was our playground!!!  Harlem has changed. I miss going to breakfast at Copeland's and watching the horrible lounge singer they had in there at one point. He was funny and horrible all at the same time. I miss running in there to pick up dinner when I didn't feel like cooking. I miss Ms. Ruthie's. She didn't even start cooking until you ordered and then you had to be patient and wait. My goodness it was worth the wait.  She would pull out her cast iron pan and fry up some fish or chicken depending on your order.  All the while with a cigarette dangling from her mouth.  The good Lord only knows how many ashes we ate.   I miss Wimp's. You could get whatever your sweet tooth desired, banana pudding, sweet potato pies, coconut cake and on and on. I miss Georgie's which was located right across the street from Wimp's. Those doughnuts would have you giving up the nuclear code.  And, then there was, Ms. Marion's bakery,   You could smell the yeast rolls for blocks. Every day when I dropped my son off at school, I just had to have one with coffee for breakfast.  I miss M&G's, Wells Chicken & Waffles, Sherman's BBQ, Wilson's and so many more that are no longer open.

I lived right across the street from Rucker Park.  The park was known for it's basketball tournaments during the summer, but we took advantage of the park all year round.  You could listen to music from a live D.J.coming from the park. Somebody would inevitable get tired of hearing the loud music and call the police. LOL!!!

How many times did my father yell out of that window because I was moving too slow to go home!!I had to be in by dark and as soon as the sky started to slightly darken, my father would be in the window watching to see if we were coming in.  He had no shame hanging out the window and yelling your entire name reminding you that you better "Get your ass upstairs now." 

I miss my cousin's living here and visiting them regularly. Growing up my cousins were our play dates. My parents would pile us all in the car and head to Brooklyn to my Aunt Jean's & Uncle Nathaniel's place where we would hang out with our cousins on Sunday's after church. My cousins were pretty much the only black family in a predominantly Hasidic neighborhood.  So for a good chunk of my childhood, I hung out in a Hasidic neighborhood just about every Sunday with my cousins.  I loved every minute of it.

How many times where we on Decatur Avenue in the Bronx at my Aunt Penny's house hanging out with our cousins,  I would look forward to going to the Italian Deli on the corner for a great sandwich or walking to the White Castle on Fordham Road. At the time she moved in the neighborhood was still predominantly Irish and Italian.  It was so unlike Harlem that was mostly black and hispanic.  Fordham Road was and still is a major shopping hub.  We didn't do much shopping but we loved being out there in the crowd.  The only time I would really shop in the area is when my parents would bring us there to shop.

We knew the subway system like the back of our hand growing up. No school buses here!!!Growing up in NYC, you have to learn how to get around and learn the bus and subway system.  I was riding the subway to school by the time I was 11 so I had to know where I was going.  It just seemed so normal to me, I didn't even give it much thought.

During the 80's there probably is not a club in Manhattan that we didn't show up at dancing the night away. All of us skinny as pencils.  There was no shortage of places to dance the night away, Bentley's, Silver Shadow, Paradise Garage, Constellation, Hotel Diplomat, Savage, Bonds, Leviticus, The Red Parrot, Danceteria, etc,  They did not search you, so it was nothing for me and my friends to carry a flask in our purses with our own liquor in it.  We were also allowed to come and go as often as we liked.  They just stamped your hand before you left and it gave you the ability to come and go at will.  Not anymore, once you enter, you must stay until you're ready to leave.  We would come after work, get our hand stamped, go home, take a nap, take a shower, get dressed, get back to the club around midnight and dance the rest of the night away.

I didn't need to line up 2 days in advance to watch the ball drop in Times Square.  We would show up around 10:30pm or so and wait for the ball to drop.  No need to freeze, be searched, stand in one place or any of the madness that takes place today to watch this 10 second event happen.

I even miss the old Times Square.  I know it was sleazy and needed an update, but something about it gave the city a little more character and hutzpah.  Now it's just a generic landmark occupied by the same restaurants and stores you can find anywhere in the USA.  They just sit under the lights of Times Square.  Its the only difference.  Kind of makes you miss the old days of sleazy theaters and hookers.  They were way more interesting to watch than the average tourists fumbling around down there now!!! I won't even get started on all the characters that show up there just to jerk the tourist around!!! Tourist have also taken over 5th & 6th Avenue's as well.   Alas but this is supposed to be progress.  

A few other things I miss;

Reasonable rent.  My first apartment was a 2 bedroom in Harlem near City College and I paid less than $500 a month for rent.   So many people today of all ages live with roommates because they cannot afford an apartment of their own. 

Affordable Cab rides.  You could pretty much go from midtown to Harlem for about $10.

Real Broadway Shows.  Most of Broadway these days seem like one big Disney musical.  What happened to originality?  

Most of all I miss the Family and Friends I have lost over the years.  Growing up I have the fondest memories of my parents, family and friends.  It's not to say things were perfect because they weren't, but we had it pretty good.  We grew up in an era where we were held accountable for what we did and just as importantly, we had expectations placed on us we were expected to meet if not surpass.  I can truly say that I am glad I grew up during the time I did and had the parents, family and friends that I did.  They made my life interesting and they all taught me something.  As I have matured and moved on with life like everyone else, I continue to meet some of the most interesting and dynamic people in this city.  I wouldn't trade my time here for anything in the world.  I don't know if I will always live here because you never know what life has in store for you and where it will take you, but I know this, because I grew up here in NYC, I can handle just about anything that life brings my way.  I will always love this city and I will never regret being raised here!!!! A piece of my heart will always be here!!!

Food

I was always a thin person growing up.  Actually I was underweight growing up.  No I was not anorexic or suffering from any type of food disorder.  I was healthy and I ate my food, maybe not always all of it, but I ate pretty good.  Most of the people I knew were like me as well.   We were all a little on the skinny side.  We went outside and played and we came home and ate dinner.

In trying to understand why so many people are so obese today, I realized that a few things have changed.  We no longer have children running and playing outside on the street, in the park or in the yard, like we did growing up.  There seems to be an obsession with our phones, ipads, ipods, etc.  We are literally obsessed with our electronic devices.  So much so, that many don't even know how to properly communicate to and with others, but that is another post.  (which I do plan to address)  So we are no longer getting the exercise and workouts we got when we were children.  Also we danced every weekend somewhere.  Growing up in NYC there was no shortage of nightclubs or discos to go to.  So from Thursday to Saturday the party was on.  Sometimes we even got started on a Tuesday or Wednesday night.   Like I said, there was no shortage of clubs to party at here pretty much any night of the week you felt like going out.

The biggest factor I believe leading to our mass epidemic of obesity is our FOOD!!! Our food supply here in America has been hijacked by big corporations who are putting all kinds of poisonous stuff in our food.  When I say they are poisoning us, I don't mean with fast acting poisons like cyanide or something that will kill us quickly.  No they are killing us slowly with their GMO's, pesticides, antibiotics, dyes, chemicals and Lord knows what else they are putting in our food.  Even when you believe you are making the healthy choice with a plant base diet or lean meats, you are still not getting the best you can get unless you are buying certified organic, grass fed food.  And even then, who knows!!! The problem  is not only with the food but with the methods used to grow and feed it.  Farm raised fish, please somebody tell me WTF is that?   Chickens that are given shots to fatten them up and then kept cooped up in cramped surrounding are supposed to be as healthy as chickens that roam free and eat healthy feed.  STOP, SORRY NOT BUYING IT!!!!  Cows and Pigs that are kept in tight quarters that are also given hormones and shots to fatten them up.  They are also given antibiotics to keep them from getting sick because they aren't being raised in a natural environment.
Why is everything fed corn?  Well corn makes everything taste sweeter, so you're likely to consume more.  Why is their HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP in everything?   Do we really need our bread to be sweet, well of course we do, if we're going to consume more of it so the food companies can get richer and richer while poisoning us!!!!

Why are sugar substitutes so bad for you?  It is the one thing I will not do and that's drink a diet anything.  Why does our fruit taste like, well NOTHING!!!  It is so rare now to eat a piece of fruit that taste like anything.  When I buy fruit and it tastes good, if it's possible I quickly hurry back to the place of purchase and buy more because I don't know what I will get the next time,  Why is everything that is good for you so expensive?  Everything that is bad for you is relatively affordable.  You can walk into almost any grocery store and find a .99 cents loaf of white bread.  Over in the fresh produce aisle, blueberries (non organic mind you) will be at least $4.00 for a small box.  It is practically impossible for a family of modest means with children to eat healthy.  The only reason I can afford to eat healthy is because I'm only feeding me.  Thank God my son is an adult.  I would be hard pressed to figure out how to feed my family healthy food. My heart goes out to parents who want to do the right thing but can't afford to.  Something is terribly wrong with our society when we allow food companies to poison consumers freely without consequence.  The very people you need to keep you in business are the very people you poison daily.

American's better wake up and start demanding that their food supply be restored to full healthy origins of which it was meant to be consumed.  We are the only Western country that allows this.  Many of the things found in our food supply are not allowed in other western and civilized countries around the world.  I am reminded every time I travel out of the country and return just how horrible our food supply is.  I was recently in the U.K. and the food was so much better.  I forgot egg yolks are actually orange when farm fresh.  It's interesting how when I vacation in America, I come home and my clothes are a little tighter from the eating (because don't we all eat when on vacation), but when I leave the country I actually come back the same or a few pounds lighter.  So please don't tell me our food supply is healthy and studies show there's no difference in sugar substitute and cane sugar.  It is all a pile of MALARKY!!!!!   Our food is the main source of our weight gain, health issues and some mental issues.  I can't prove anything on a scientific level and no I am not a scientist.  Just an observant human being who believes that our country allows us to be poisoned everyday by our food supply because of greed!!! Our elected officials were supposed to be out voices, but that's not working out so well.  We the people don't have lobbyist on Capitol Hill lobbying for laws that will protect us from greedy, selfish pigs who don't give a damn about destroying our food supply in the name of Capitalism  BETTER WAKE UP!!!

Unapologetically Me

I am UNAPOLOGETICALLY BLACK!!!  Black is how the world sees me.  It is the first thing people notice about me.  I'm okay with that because BLACK is what I am. This is how God created me and he never makes mistakes.  I am proud to be a black woman.  It makes me part of a race of people who have overcome and continue to overcome some of the most abhorrent and hateful atrocities ever bestowed on humanity.  I am proud that I come from a people who are resilient, resourceful and determined. In the shortest time ever by any group of people so oppressed, we have made advances that are truly amazing.  The Civil Rights Act was only passed in 1964.  That's since I was born.  We have dealt with hundreds of years of slavery, the KKK, Jim Crow laws, cross burnings, church bombings, lynchings, rapes, assaults and just about everything else you can think of that can be done to degrade a human being.  The really sad thing is that black people are still being vilified today.  The vilification doesn't just come from white people, but other people of color as well as other black people.  I'm disappointed that so many who used the open door of Civil Rights to march through off the backs and blood of black people have only turned around to discriminate against black people themselves.  I believe in human rights, diversity and freedom, but for those who continue to use our door without having to pay dues and thumbing their noses at the black community, I say LET THEM STAND ON THEIR OWN, IN THEIR OWN ACCOMPLISHMENTS to see what they are truly made of!!!! Let's see if in 52 years they can rise to the level of our accomplishments and have their culture influence and dominate the world.  Let's see if they can get a President elected, dominate the areas of entertainment, sports,beauty, fashion, music, food and the arts.  Just about every trend this world sees starts on the streets in the hood.  People are paying good money for what is natural for black people, full lips, ample behinds, thick full natural hair, skin hues in colors that can't be duplicated, yet we are to believe that black people, especially women are undesirable, ugly and lack sensuality and sexuality!!! PLEASE, FEED THAT BULLSHIT TO SOMEONE ELSE, BECAUSE I KNOW BETTER!!!  If I love myself and am confident as a black woman, why does that bother so many?  It seems only when we behave as if we're broken and destroyed are others comfortable.  If you show any pride in yourself, your race or the accomplishments of your race, that's a problem!! I am black, that's what I am and I make no apologies for it.  I am proud of myself for surviving and thriving in a world that wasn't made for me.  I am proud of my people for accomplishing so much in such a short amount of time.  Our grandparents didn't have the options we had.  Most of them knew they could only look forward to a life of domestic work or hard labor.  The educated amongst them had to overcome such tremendous odds to become educated and still most only had the option of teaching or nursing as careers.  Today, black Americans have kicked the door in and down and  we will continue to do so because we are a people who have proven we can and we will.  The notion that we can't stick together and accomplish something is nonsense.  Look at all we have made happen.  PLEASE STOP LISTENING TO THOSE WHO WANT TO DIVIDE AND CONQUER.  I will continue to be vocal on any issues that I feel I need to.

I am UNAPOLOGETICALLY A CHRISTIAN.  I was born into a family of Christians and this is the faith my parents passed on to me.  As most people do, I strayed away from the Church and my spiritual growth.  I never lost my belief that there is a God, but did not always actively seek a relationship with God during my young adult years.  But then you grow up and something happens to make you realize that your faith and relationship with God is the most important relationship in this world you can develop.  As an adult I chose to re-ignite my faith and my relationship with God.   I do not shove my beliefs down anyone's throat and demand that they see things my way.  This is my choice and my decision to believe in God, to worship God as my Lord and Savior and to honor God by living my life in line with his word.  It doesn't mean I haven't made mistakes and fallen short many times, but I still keep trying.  I do not worry about being politically correct when it comes to God and his word.  I believe that Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Christ and that Easter is about celebrating the resurrection of Christ after his crucifixion.  I have no issues with other religions celebrating their beliefs and recognizing their holidays.  I do have a problem with people in a Christian nation (yes the majority of Americans are of Christian faith) being politically correct taking Christ out of Christmas and Easter.  These holidays exist solely for the purpose of celebrating Christ.  Anyone who has an issue with that should just sit it out.  It wasn't meant for them to be a part of.  I don't participate in Holidays and Observances that don't coincide with my beliefs and I'm fine with that.  I understand they're not for me.  As for those who believe that people of color shouldn't believe in a religion that they feel white people pushed on us,  Christianity existed in Africa and around the world long before we were taken from there.  Yes there have been some ugly things done in the name of Christianity and other religions.  We can't take the actions of mankind and turn them into weapons against faith.  When mankind does atrocious things in the name of religion, they are fulfilling their own need to destroy and not Gods.  I also know some people who call themselves Christians are nothing but troublemakers always looking to start something.  Again, these are human beings doing what they feel compelled to do which is destroy.  You can't let them get in the way of your faith and your journey with God.

I am UNAPOLOGETICALLY A WOMAN.  I was born a woman and will happily remain one the rest of my life.  I do not feel the need to compete with men or dumb myself down to be with a man.  I am a curious intelligent being who knows who she is and what I want, so please do not expect me to sacrifice my life, wishes and dreams to help you or be with you.  I want someone who will compliment me, not try to make me disappear into him.  I speak out on issues I feel negatively affect me as a woman and stand up for myself.  Once again, I'm not all that concerned with being politically correct when I feel my well being and safety are at stake.  Women are giving away all their power in the name of being politically correct and better start understanding that.  When I listen to some of the young ladies I know talk about their interactions with men and how they are treated, it saddens me because I know this is happening because they allow it.  I'm sad that these women fail to realize their true value and worth.  They need to understand that only they can demand respect for themselves and insist on being treated with respect, elevating their standard and rejecting anything less than what they deserve.  Worrying about losing someone who doesn't deserve you in the first place is a waste of time. We live in a time where people try to make you feel bad for aging, being curvy or not wanting to look like everyone else.  There's nothing wrong with wanting to look good and having nice things, but they shouldn't define who you are.  I don't want to be anything other than what I am, a beautiful, smart black christian woman. I don't want anyone trying to make me feel bad or less than because I am those things!!!!  Their are so many women today who are the first to line up and attack another woman for her beliefs, lifestyle and morals.  One day I hope women wake up and realize all the power they have given away in the name of political correctness.

Tears of Blackness

There is so much going on and I wanted to address a few of these issues . The depths of pain, frustration, anger, hurt and resentment felt by black people all over this world cannot be overstated.  The idea that so many out there think that blackness is equated with less humanity is infuriating!!!!

We have a black president who has been disrespected every day of his presidency by those who never wanted to see him in office in the first place.  I was not over enthusiastic when President Obama ran for the White House.  The truth be told I didn't think he would win and I never invested much of my time or emotions into his journey.  I was stunned on election night when he won.  I was proud as a black woman, but still nevertheless stunned!! I didn't believe a black person could win and be elected President in the U.S.   I quickly accepted that he was the next president of this country and went about my business as usual.  I don't have a lot of faith in politicians, so I don't get too caught up in any of it.  I exercise my civic duty and vote for what I always consider the "lesser" of two evils.  I try not to attack and disrespect leaders I don't like.  Again, I just keep it moving because I know eventually everyone's time is up.  A part of me recognized that as the first black president, he would be demonized and we would have to witness it.  People have all kinds of reasons why, but mostly, it's just plain old fashioned racism as is the case with most of the things happening today.

We have a "billionaire" and several other GOP candidates running for the privilege to live in the White House and rule this country who are now the poster children for Racism in America.  They are an international embarrassment.  The venom they spew when telling us about their beliefs and what they will do if they win supports the feelings of  distrust and concern people have about them.  Many racists hide behind religion to justify some of the things they do.  I don't know what God they serve, but the one I serve is a loving God and doesn't need our help judging his children.  Yes even they are his children.  What they've forgotten is, so are we.  Immigrants who want to deport immigrants.  Billionaires who want to cut aid and force even more people into poverty, a brilliant and gifted neurosurgeon who seems to be at the very least confused about his blackness and reality.  The really sad part of all of this are the people who support their hatefulness and meanness.  It just really lets us know, we still have a long way to go.  I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm almost sorry Jeb Bush dropped out of the GOP race!!!

Police departments around the country who are killing unarmed citizens for basically nothing are now upset with Beyonce for her video, "Formation"  So it's okay for police officers to continue to shoot and kill unarmed black people, but Beyonce can't speak out about it.  Again it seems that a group wants to be respected while denying the same respect to others.  Their response was to threaten to boycott her shows and not offer her security.  Don't most celebrities pay the local off duty police for their services? So are they saying they will forgo being hired by her for security?  That's sounds like a personal choice to me.  If they are on duty, then protecting the public is an obligation they get paid for whether they like it or not.   It's seems to me that too many (not all) police officers are childish, immature and like to throw the equivalent of an adult tantrum if they don't like something you say. Respect works both ways.  White people can siege a government building with weapons and stay there for weeks with no show of force, but Beyonce who is an artist can't express herself if her views are not in line with the police's.  I don't know sounds, racist to me, but I'm sure there are those who will defend the police no matter what they do, that is until they start killing your children, which if you haven't noticed, America, they're starting to do.  Corruption breeds cockiness!!

In New York City, police officer Peter Liang was convicted for the shooting death of an unarmed black man named Akai Gurley.  It marks the first time in over a decade that any New York City police officer has been convicted of such a crime.  This conviction upset the Asian community and they came out in support of Liang.  Many feel he is a scapegoat for the wrongs the NYPD have done in the black community and he is being sacrificed.  I watched some news footage of a young lady who is an Asian activist and she went on to explain how the asian community felt.  I couldn't help but notice that during her interview, she referred to them as the "favored" minority.  What she doesn't realize is that right there is the problem with why so many are upset and felt betrayed.  There is no such thing as a "favored" or "model"  minority in America.  We're all people of color on the outside trying to get in and unfortunately some learn that lesson the hard way.  It's demoralizing, demeaning and disappointing when you realize your value is significantly less than the white establishment.  Black people hold no delusions about where we stand in America.  We thrive in spite of it.  Mr. Liang set into motion a tragic and unnecessary death when he chose to take certain actions.  I do not believe his actions were spiteful or malicious, but they were neglectful and careless and because of him , a young father will never return home to his family.  Yes he has to pay for that.  Every decision Mr. Liang made in that stairwell and after the shooting showed his lack of experience, judgment and his inability to be an effective police officer.  It seems the argument is that if white officers can get away with it, why can't he?  The real truth is no one should be getting away with it and not punishing Mr. Liang doesn't put him on equal footing with white police.   The real question to ask is why he thought he should behave the way he did in the first place?  Why was his gun out when there was no immediate threat to his life?  Why was his hand on the trigger?  Why did he use a gun to push open the door, especially when his finger was on the trigger?  That was a disaster waiting to happen.  No he's not the only one that should face justice, but make no mistake about it, he should face justice and prison time.  Because of him, an innocent, unarmed man will never again walk this earth, be with his family or grow old.  MR. GURLEY DID NOTHING WRONG AND DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!  The fact that some believe he shouldn't be punished because white officers aren't punished is racist and racism in action.  I'm sorry but using that as justification is asinine and insane!!! Obviously the jury agreed!!

And finally the critics who are attacking the "Black Lives Matters" movement.  They are comparing the movement (as they did the Black Panthers) to hate groups and painting a picture of troublemakers trying to incite civil unrest.  Anytime black people stand up for themselves, it makes many nervous and puts them on the defensive.  Attacking instead of questioning why these types of organized movements are necessary is the real problem.  The Black Lives Matters movement nor the Black Panthers, have ever hung people from trees, raped and brutalized women, stolen and enslaved other human beings, burned crosses, lynched innocent men, women and children, bombed churches, kidnapped and killed civil rights worker, mutilated other human beings, stolen land and other possessions from owners, set human beings on fire, sold human beings as commodities, used human babies as bait for alligators and I could go on and on.  So when people open their mouths to refer to either of these movements or groups as some type of terrorism movement, what they are really saying is,  I'm uncomfortable with black people speaking out and standing up for themselves and  I don't know anything else to do but attack, because that's what we do here in America when we're trying to keep control.  Racism will lose one day because it's very nature is against God and I always bet on God!!!!!!!!!

FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY

Financial responsibility is so important if you want to be able to afford your life.   Unfortunately,  many people don't understand just how important this is.  Money is an important factor in life and having enough seems to be a problem for most people.  In order to understand how much money plays a role in our society, you should start with knowing about money and the many roles it takes on.  There is Cash, Credit, Assets, Gold, Stocks, Bonds, Real Estate, etc.  To learn the specifics and differences about these,  you should buy a good book explaining them.   You should do this before you ever invest a penny or open a credit card account or buy a piece of real estate.   in other words before you start spending,  you should know exactly how all of this works and how it will affect you long term, specifically your credit, credit worthiness and ability to accumulate wealth. 

I am not a financial expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I have learned a little something over the years and made enough mistakes to warrant warning others!!! I also spent years with a successful man who taught me some things about money and accumulating wealth and although the relationship eventually fizzled, I haven't forgotten the things he taught me when we were together. 

 I have sold real estate for over 15 years in New York City and I have seen people barely qualified to purchase a home buy knowing that at some point unless their financial situation changes, they will default under the pressure.  It is very difficult being a homeowner and keeping up with all the things you have to do to maintain your property.  keeping its value, as well as paying your taxes, insurance and many other bills related to owning a home.  It is not for the barely qualified and financially irresponsible.  You will find yourself and your family in a bad situation if you don't keep your payments up and pay on time.  I've seen too many people over the years become landlords without fully understanding what that entails.  I know that the American dream is to own a home and that many people in the real estate business encourage people to buy multiple family homes for the rental income. They hold seminars and tell you that owning property is the best way to wealth and sell you their foolproof method of doing this.  Although owning a home is a part of building wealth, it is only feasible if you can afford it.   If you cannot afford your home without your tenants rental payment, then this is a bad idea.  You should have your own money  or have money set aside to pay your mortgage and cover repairs, whether your tenants pay you or not.  Many people become landlords and discover just how difficult it can be.  Tenants don't always pay you on time and if they're having financial difficulties, they may not pay you at all.  If you're dependent on their money, you now have a problem.  It will cost you money to take them to court and evict them.  It is money you will likely never recover.  In addition, there are laws that protect tenants that you will have to follow whether you tenant is paying rent on time or not at all, like providing heat and hot water and anything else you agreed upon that is provided in the lease.  You don't get to stop providing it just because they aren't paying.  So if you're financially strapped because you could barely afford your property, this is going to cause you a great deal of stress and anxiety.

I also know many homeowners that aren't landlords but own a single family home and are constantly looking for ways to cut costs, such as energy, heat, hot water etc and then want to invite you to their house to freeze in the winter and sweat in the summer.  I know many won't like this, but you probably really can't afford your home either.  If you cannot live in your home and enjoy it with comfortable temperature settings,  a hot water tank that produces hot water 24 hours a day and properly water your lawn, then you might want to reconsider your decision to own a home because it seems like it's a financial stretch for you.

With that said, becoming a homeowner is a great way to build wealth and there's nothing wrong with being a homeowner.  In most cases (with the exception of the housing meltdown) homes usually increase in value over time, so if you can hold on to your home, it will make you wealthier.   In the meantime, make sure you can afford it.  I know we have no way of knowing what the future will bring, but if you start off a homeowner who can barely afford your home, unless your finances change drastically, you will likely be a homeowner always struggling to keep it together and only you can decide if that's worth it for you. 

Flipping houses is another way, people get into real estate to make money.  You buy a house significantly below market value, make any necessary repairs and sell it at market value.  Again if you can afford it, it is another way to make money and build wealth.  You can get stuck with the property a while before it sells, especially in a bad market,  so be sure before you put all your money into a property expecting a full return because there are no guarantees.  If the property doesn't sell quickly or at all, you can lose your investment.

Luxury cars are another favorite of the population at large and I guess it's nice to own one ( I have never owned a car).  Some people in this country spend more on their car payments than rent, grocery or child support.   If you can truly afford it, then enjoy it.   However, if you pull up and park your luxury automobile in the parking lot of the projects, then you aren't being financially responsible or insuring your  financial future.  Cars start to lose value as soon as you drive it out of the dealership.  If you took those car payments and invested them over the years and let them grow, you might actually be able to become a homeowner who could afford their home.   My ex would only drive luxury cars, but he rarely bought them new or paid full price.  He would  go to auctions and buy cars.  If they were banged up then he would repair them like new.   He drove around in them payment free.  You enjoy something a whole lot more when you're not worried about how you're going to pay for it.

Fashion and designer clothes  are another big cost for many people.  We are a label obsessed society and I am a fashionista, love clothes, shoes , and purses so this is an area, I have to most practice some discipline.  I have had some financial issues over the years as well and have learned to be more financially responsible.  My taste hasn't changed and I still prefer designer clothes, I just don't pay full price for them anymore.  If I could have back every penny I every spent for clothes with the price tag on them I never wore and invested it,  I would probably be rich now.   The first thing I do now before I buy anything is decide do I really love it, if so, do I really need it?   Most of the time that ends my desire right there, but if I do decide to proceed with a purchase, THEN one or more of these happens: 

 it must be ON SALE!!!  I check to see if there are any coupons for a discount,  I wait until the end of season sales where items are discounted even further,  I compare prices to see which place has the item  lowest markdown,  I'm signed up at all my favorite  stores and designers to receive notice of discounts, sales, coupons and online specials.   I ask the manager or store clerk is there is any further discount they can give me.   Sometimes they have codes they can use to reduce an item even further.   If I find something I love at a really good deal and I can afford it, I buy it.  I am not a trendy person.  My taste is more classic so I don't tend to worry too much about something being out of style.  I don't care if the inventory is from last season.  I would rather buy good sturdy pieces that will last for years than a cheap special that will fall apart after you wash it.

One day if it is possible, we would all like to retire and enjoy a certain standard of living.  That starts right now with being more financially astute.  We spend a lifetime accumulating things that will only be left here for someone else to enjoy when we die and that's okay too, just enjoy your own life as much when you're here.  Let's be honest, we will need some money to do that!!!  How much depends on you and your life's plans.   Stop wasting and spend wisely because wasting is giving it away.  You might as well throw it out the window for your neighbors to enjoy.  It's been a BRUTAL lesson for me to learn but my philosophy is BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!!!

Woman in Gold

This column was inspired by a response I received on FaceBook to a status update I posted.  I decided to go a little more in depth about why the #BlackLivesMatters movement was inevitable!!!  Although this post is not about the movement, I hope it brings a little more clarity on why such movements are necessary.  Black people have had to fight for every step of progress made!!

I recently saw the movie Woman in Gold which stars Helen Mirren (whom I love) and Ryan Reynolds.  It is a great movie and is based on a true story.  It's a very poignant movie and addresses the issue of stolen wealth and the complications of trying to regain stolen wealth especially when that wealth was stolen due to racist policies and laws.  It also focuses on the lengths the Austrian benefactors were willing to go to keep what was taken.  The wealth and lifestyle stolen from her family will not be earned or amassed again by her, so this theft not only affected her immediate family but future descendants.   She fights to regain her family's stolen treasure and reclaim what's theirs.  Although this particular story happened in Austria, it really could have been the story of so many descendants of slaves here in America.  The loss of property, art and other valuables were permitted and has yet to be corrected.  When whites stole from our ancestors and robbed them of what was rightfully theirs, they also robbed us of what is rightfully ours.  You cannot pass on wealth if you do not have it.

Unfortunately America has not been willing to remedy it's past or atone for it.  The 40 acres and a mule never happened.  Many whites have wealth that was stolen from blacks and never returned to their descendants.  They passed it on to their descendants who it did not belong to.  For this reason when I read about how slavery is over and it's time to move on, it annoys the hell out of me because it's a limited and over simplified assessment of slavery and it's repercussions.  It does not address the issues or long term ill effects of slavery. It's easy for people who inherited the ill gotten wealth of others to want to move on and leave the past in the past.  If Black America collectively wants to forgive and move on then that would be our choice, but it isn't for others to make for us.  Anytime we speak about reparations or atonement, it is viewed as us wanting a handout.  Handout for what we endured, continue to endure and will continue to endure is insulting.

Austria has set up a system whereby, descendants of the Jewish population that were robbed of everything they ever had, have a means to make a claim.  The fact that you can make this claim in no way guarantees the return of stolen treasures.  No one wants to give up wealth, so these people are in for a fight and many times, come out on the losing end, but at least Austria has begun to acknowledge what happened and started the process of addressing it.  They have a long way to go before they can pat themselves on the back.  America hasn't even begun to admit and atone for the wrongdoings it has  inflicted on black people.  It has apologized to the Japanese for the camps.  It has apologized to Native American's and allows casinos for them to operate and accumulate some type of wealth.  It has been a safe haven for the Jewish community fleeing the horrors of the Nazi's and it has helped countless other ethnic groups who find themselves in need and it should. Yet, America has not apologized or attempted to correct the single most horrifying terroristic act it has committed and that was the enslavement of black people.  We were taken from our homeland of Africa, beaten, raped, brutalized, lynched, sold and separated from our families all in the name of free labor but there are still those out there who believe we should forget and move on like it never happened.

Here's why we can't.  We still live with racism and effects of slavery today. We have a shorter life span, higher rates of medical ailments, higher unemployment rates, higher death rates from treatable diseases, lower earnings and salaries while having the same or better credentials than our white counterparts, higher incarcerations rates, higher police fatality rates, lower promotion rates regardless of education. higher loan rejection rates, higher interest on loans rates, stricter requirements and lower favorable rates for home ownership, higher insurance rates based on our addresses and not our needs, higher rejections for business loans.  Our children are more likely to be labeled and placed in special education for just being kids, our children are more likely to be suspended, expelled or punished for the same infraction as a white student, the school is more likely to involve the police in a situation if the student is black, inner city black students attend more inferior schools than their white counterparts in the suburbs, yet our education system is supposed to be equal.  One just needs to look at social media outlets or the comments section of an article, whether the article is about race or not and all the insensitive, ignorant, stupid and demoralizing comments that are made to understand, we are a long way from equality.  A recent incident where a group of adults thought it was okay to post racist comments about a innocent and defenseless three year old child illustrates this point.  There are so many more things I can say, but I think you get my point.  We cannot even begin to think that all Americans are on equal footing and all have the same opportunities.  It is just a lie, a myth, an insult and an injustice.

We can't pass along wealth that was stolen from us.  I'm not saying that every white person stole from black people or every black person was wealthy but for those who did have land, created art that they were not allowed to keep, started businesses etc that were taken from them, their descendants never got the benefit of their ancestors fortitude to own or create.  Unlike Austria there is not a system of retribution set up here.  The U.S. Courts have consistently ruled that since black people were considered property at the time, we had no ownership of our assets and thus continue to issue rulings that are at the very least inhumane.  How about ruling the U.S. violated the principle that "ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL"  when it decided to get into the slave trade and that owning human beings as property was unjust and immoral.  The Declaration of Independence didn't make exclusions for skin color.   Since this ruling is not likely to be made, at least in my lifetime, we continue to deal with a system that will not return to us what is rightfully ours. This is a theme with people of color all  around the world. One of the reasons many Africans continue to remain poor and struggle is because they have yet to have what was stolen from them returned either.  Africa is an oil rich, diamond rich, mineral rich country and yet is one of the poorest nations in the universe.  The Aborigine people were the original inhabitants of Australia and remain shut out of the continent's wealth today.   Why is it that theft of assets from people of color around the world continues to happen?  GREED and CORRUPTION!!! The GREEDY and CORRUPT among us will never admit to their wrongdoings and will not relinquish our wealth as long as THEY DON'T HAVE TO!!!!!!!!!